Was kept in limbo, but I've finally decided, but I can't communicate it. wth.

[DogsAreLove]

Hello!

 

I've been with my guy for 6 months. Started out perfectly, extremely rushed but I was loving every minute of it. He said he loved me right away, started talking marriage within a month, and we talked about moving in together but he kept delaying it for justifiable reasons like his job situation, paying off his debt, etc. When I first met him I seriously thought he was it for me.

 

Last week pretty much out of nowhere he started saying he was having doubts about the relationship. We talked every day for hours about how confused he was. He said the butterflies left and he thinks they need to be there constantly even if you're married for 50 years, every day needs to feel like the first time you meet that person. I don't think this is realistic - when the butterflies go away that's when mature love and comfort come in - so when I told him that he pretty much got mad at me for not having butterflies anymore and couldn't decide if he wanted to stay together or not. This was days ago, he said he'd have a decision later that night. Later that night, no decision but i'd have one by morning. Again nothing, he keeps pushing it each time he says he is going to have a decision.

 

I was completely devastated most of the week when this first happened. Crying at work, not eating, etc. I finally feel ok now, still upset and confused of course, but I'm pretty much decided that I'd like to be with someone who KNOWS all the time that they want to be with me and is emotionally mature enough to know that butterflies are not permanent and constant. I know it's not going to be easy walking away but I need to respect myself and my dignity. The thing is how do I tell him this when he won't take my calls? I tried to call him, he texted me hours later saying he wasn't ready to make his decision - (as if I was calling to beg him to decide already). I sent him a text that I wasn't calling for that reason and I needed to tell him something and he hasn't gotten back to me! I don't want to text msg breakup, I don't want to just cancel our relationship on facebook, but I'm not sure what choice I have here??? At this point in his confusion there's no way I can stay with him and not be treated like a doormat.

 

I don't understand why or how this happened. 2 weeks ago if you told me this was going to happen I would've laughed in your face and said no way he's the one you're crazy that would never happen.

 

!!!!!!!!!!

[lvroflife]

Clearly he is young and he needs to learn a lot about relationships and love. He will always be single if he thinks the butterflies will stay for 50 years...Clearly the honeymoon phase is over and he does not know how to put the work in to sustain a relationship!! Get out now and do not waste time on him...

 

He will run at the first site of any issues in the relationship... He needs to grow up!!

 

To have a long lasting relationship you need to be prepared to fall in and out of love over and over again, be ready to hate then love again, talk, communicate, weather storms, and fight for each other, plus other things...He has no clue!!

[Lucretius]

Sounds a bit of a whirlwind romance especially talking marriage within the first month!!!

 

You say last week out of nowhere he suddenly started to have doubts? Sounds to me like their is something else going on in his background, something perhaps that he is not telling you.

 

The butterflies thing if is true would indicate he has a great sense of insecurity which he is going to need to deal with. On the other hand it could just be being used to cover up something else that he isn't telling you!

 

I know what i'm saying might not make you feel any better but remember your "self worth" and if you hear nothing back from him then let him go!

 

Take care and good luck!!!

 

 

"Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one."

[guest572]

That's awful, I guess he leaves you with no choice but to dump him via text or just don't contact him. It's unfair of him to leave you in limbo and ignore you. As for the "butterflies"? That is ridiculously unrealistic and unfair! Just a short and simple text ought to do. If he wants an explanation he can grow up and call you