sohard Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I posted here the other day and got some great advice and i need some again, we broke up 6 weeks ago when i found out he cheated, it was a couple of years ago that he cheated and he said it was only that time but now i dont know if i believe him or if i could ever trust him again because he lied for so long. He told me he would go to counselling and went once refused to go again so i told him to leave our house 3 weeks ago. We have 2 kids and its been so hard seeing him every few days as i feel i cant get anytime to just deal with how im feeling and seeing him every few days made me feel crap again so on sunday i told him i wanted No contact for at least a week so i could try get my head around what has happened. At first he agreed to the no contact and when i got off the phone i cried so hard i couldnt breath, i was on my own so it was first time i think i have truly let it all out and just cried. Then today he texted and asked me if we could try sit down & speak and see what happens. He said he doesn't want things to end and hopes we can work it out but i honestly dont know what i want. I dont know if i want things to be over but i do want answers but im all over the place with it all right now and i dont know what to say/ ask when he comes over tomorrow. What would you ask? We have issues going back further than the cheating that i want to bring up too but not sure if its all too much and we will just end up worse by bringing it all up again. Am i just going to cause myself more hurt by meeting him?
lvroflife Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Sorry you are faced with this... We are here to support you... Because there are kids involved this is atricky situation. Perhaps you should google and read articles on overcoming infidelity in relationships. That will help you get some perspective. Also, should you decided to meet and talk with him, you absolutey should talk about EVERYTHIG that is a concern. How can a relationship work if things you feel are secret. They will just eat at you. If you do not say something, each time you have a disagreement then that little secret you keep builds, and builds, and builds... it is like adding fuel to a fire.. Remember a relationship is not only about trust but communication too!!! He needs to new everything should you two decide to work it out, because if you do it is a NEW RELATIONSHIP, it is not the old one. CLEAN SLATE
forgetmenot75 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 very difficult situation, kids involved, etc. I'd tell him if he wants to try again, he'll have to go to counseling. That's the only option.
CaliBabe Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 You stated that you don't know if you can trust him. That is serious. Trust is the #1 foundation to a successful relationship. Give yourself some uninterrupted time. I know you have a child with him but you need to figure out if this is what you want or not and only you (with no outside influence) can decide this for yourself. Give yourself some time to process things. With regards to your child, can you arrange a family member or trust friend for meets and pick ups? I think it would be really beneficial to you to be alone with your thoughts. It will all come to you soon enough.
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