Do I give up the things I love to do, just to avoid him?

[violet1]

No, I haven't spoken to him in over a month. He told me last month that he was working days. Ive blocked him from everything he has no way of contacting me. I saw him last Friday night & he pulled some idiotic car move but I kept driving & maintained NC.

Unfortunately, horrible consequences come with affairs. You really only have a few options. 1) Move to a different location. 2) Continue to ignore him and stop letting him get to you. I'm pretty sure he enjoys getting a reaction out of you. 3) Tell his wife, maybe she could help keep him from being so stalkerish with you.

[herself]

Its just scary because its kinda hard to get help from police when, he is a cop. Theres a brotherhood there & they would help him & he would likely paint you out to be bat shyt crazy ti cover. But if u emailed him and told him its upsetting & u need him to stop then remind himhe cant reply because he is blocked.

Then he cant reply & call u crazy. I would truly move even though extreme.

[Realist3]

I would lean towards a tracking device. Even if it is not dept. issued they are cheap to buy. Go to a garage and have them look underneath the vehicle. They may charge you $20.

[FoolishOW]

I wouldn't change your activities with family, friends, shopping, whatever... at all, but I do think maybe a change in your thought process might help. In other words, as some have mentioned, remind yourself that this is your life to lead in any way you please, and whether he ends up being somewhere around you while you're "leading your life", make it obvious by the way you carry yourself that his presence is completely a non-issue to you.

 

 

Letting it show that it bothers you, or making it overly obvious that you're "trying" to ignore him are both forms of feed back, in one way or another. Carry yourself like you own the place, and like you've rendered him invisible. He can't "get to you" unless you allow it. Put it in your head that he simply doesn't exist anymore because you've chosen to take control of who you'll allow to get under your skin... and HE'S no longer allowed! Good luck!

[Justwondering33]

Unfortunately, horrible consequences come with affairs. You really only have a few options. 1) Move to a different location. 2) Continue to ignore him and stop letting him get to you. I'm pretty sure he enjoys getting a reaction out of you. 3) Tell his wife, maybe she could help keep him from being so stalkerish with you.

 

 

I thought about telling on him but to be honest I wouldn't want to deal with the backlash, I don't know how'd she'd take it & that's the last thing I want to worry about. I just thought when these things end , you just both go separate ways & that's it. I just wanted to see if anyone else has gone through something like this & how they've handle it but I can't even find someone that's heard about something like this. We 're barely are intimate , told each other it won't go further, fight & he can't just leave alone. I don't understand the reasoning or point ,it's frustrating. You're right I just have to stay NC & ignore him till he gets bored with it.

[Justwondering33]

Its just scary because its kinda hard to get help from police when, he is a cop. Theres a brotherhood there & they would help him & he would likely paint you out to be bat shyt crazy ti cover. But if u emailed him and told him its upsetting & u need him to stop then remind himhe cant reply because he is blocked.

Then he cant reply & call u crazy. I would truly move even though extreme.

 

 

I've done that this time, he can't reply at all. I would move if it was possible & one day I will but not possible for awhile.

[violet1]

I thought about telling on him but to be honest I wouldn't want to deal with the backlash, I don't know how'd she'd take it & that's the last thing I want to worry about. I just thought when these things end , you just both go separate ways & that's it. I just wanted to see if anyone else has gone through something like this & how they've handle it but I can't even find someone that's heard about something like this. We 're barely are intimate , told each other it won't go further, fight & he can't just leave alone. I don't understand the reasoning or point ,it's frustrating. You're right I just have to stay NC & ignore him till he gets bored with it.

Just pretend he doesn't exist. I know it's hard when he's in your face like that, but you really don't have a choice. You can't stop living your life and hide in doors just because he has no common sense. I don't encourage the OW to tell the BS unless it's necessary because OW's often get thrown under the bus. Sometimes it's the only way for the OW to completely break free.

 

Oh and btw I was on a few forums specifically for waywards to discuss their affairs. I've heard of a few exAP's becoming stalkerish after the affair ends. Although it hasn't happened to me personally, you're not alone. Stay strong! He's trying to break you. Don't allow it to happen.