Kingston100 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 A little background info, about six months ago I got out of a 10 year relationship. The breakup was a long time coming, I think I was in denial about our problems for years and kept putting off ending it. When I finally got up the courage to do it, I felt a weight had been lifted because I had known for so long that we weren't a good match. Fast forward to now, I've been in a new relationship for just shy of three months. We agreed to take things slow because of my recent single-ness, and so far things are great. But I find myself obsessively looking for flaws. When we have an awkward silence, I think we don't have anything in common.... when he is shy around my friends, I worry that he will always be like that and it will start to bother me. I think I am too worried that this relationship isn't perfect right off the bat. I am trying to relax and just let it develop naturally, because he isn't going to be my best friend over night but I don't know how to turn my brain off. Most days I am really excited, but then every once and a while I second guess it all. Help!
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Your confidence is shot. You also think if you saw the flaws in your LTR earlier & responded to them you could have saved yourself heartache. when you find yourself doing this, remind yourself that your new person is not your old person.
scooby-philly Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Also keep in mind that you are different as well. There is a part of us that will either focus negatively on the other and or on ourselves. That's normal. What you need to do is to make those thoughts more conscious, not necessarily public, and think about it even if iit's not in the moment. For myself, I stayed in a both a relationship and a friendship way too long. After 7 + months im starting to see someone and im very self-conscious worrying about not being good enough. We all change. True love leads us to change with a person and when we afe open to that we change in the process as well
amaysngrace Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Flaws can be a red flag. I'd take notice.
StanMusial Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Do not read this forum.Do not post on this forum. Carefully exit the echo chamber to your right. Thank you.
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