Hoosfoos Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I am wondering if anyone knows what the right behavior is, in case one of my friends eventually runs into my ex (with whom I am in hardcore NC). I already have one friend telling me that he has no idea what he is going to say to her (I am not coping well and he does not know whether to lie or tell the truth about me). My wish is that they say as little as possible, don't engage in small talk, and go along their way. This equals the best outcome for me. Then again I am not really in control of the behavior of others. Do I need to tell my friends my wishes, or do I just let it all go and let whatever happens, to happen? I am afraid of her contact with my friends will be a breach of my strict NC policy and set me back. Advice please.
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Your friends are free to make their own decisions about your EX. They can even chose to remain friendly with her or date her if that is their wish. If you don't want to know about her, ask them not to discuss their encounters. Other than that you don't get a say & it's pretty immature of you to ask them to chose. Nevertheless, most of the people who were your friends 1st will probably pick you. 1
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Your friends are free to make their own decisions about your EX. They can even chose to remain friendly with her or date her if that is their wish. WHOA! I wouldn't go that far. That's kind of a douchebag thing to do! Unless, they don't value a friendship.
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 WHOA! I wouldn't go that far. That's kind of a douchebag thing to do! Unless, they don't value a friendship. I was thinking the same thing. If a good friend of mine decided to date an ex, I'd really question the friendship. That's just an unwritten rule amongst friends in my opinion.
Author Hoosfoos Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 My friends wouldnt do that to me, so I dont need to worry about that.
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I didn't mean to suggest that it would be a good choice for the OPs friends to date his EX but it is a choice they (the friends & the EX GF) get to make. In response the OP certainly can & should chose to end the friendship. However, he can't prevent the friends & the EX from interacting however they chose. he only gets to control his reaction to it.
lolablue17 Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Your friends are free to make their own decisions about your EX. NO! The AP has the right to ask his friends not to unveil any piece of information about him. He shared intimate information about himself with his friends. and they have absolutely no right to share that information with no one else, unless he is allowing them to do so. otherwise they are not his friends.
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