forever_lost Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 2.5 year relationship that ended 3mnths ago. Since we last spoke a month ago (NC since then), she has texted me twice and emailed me once, mostly on the condition of remaining friends. When she dumped me, she kept open the possibility of reconciliation later down the road, but after I begged for her back, she closed that door soon afterwards. Now she wants to talk - but as friends, she stresses. What do I do? NC still? Accept the offer to be friends? It's still very hurtful that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, but I feel like a jerk not accepting her offer. But I still feel angry that she didn't have the decency to call (or at least email) instead of just casually text me. I still maintain NC right? For my own sake?
David87 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Yes maintain NC. She dumped you and now whats to be just friends, you'll end up in a much worse state than you are now. She needs you for emotional support and that's it. That's a very selfish thing to do. 2
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Yes, you do, damn right. Do not respond, reply, react or give her any indication that you've even had her text. You should block her completely. There are apps available which also block texts, as sometimes, blocking a number only prevents calls/voicemails. The only time you should ever agree to, or consider being friends, is when you have achieved INDIFFERENCE. In other words, you can see her in the arms of another in a passionate clinch - and think, "Oh cool. And I just remembered I need some potatoes." Leave this be, and move on. Block, download app - whatever. Do what you need to do - but don't do this. 5
guest572 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Definitley! NC, protect yourself. You have no reason to feel bad about rejecting her friendship offer. 1
David87 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 That's right because you only reject her as a friend, but she rejected you as a friend, lover, soul mate, human being etc. Don't feel bad. 1
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I agree, you are not her friend. I'm pretty sure that you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result being that you are nothing more than "a really good friend" to her, did you?
Author forever_lost Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 In other words, you can see her in the arms of another in a passionate clinch - and think, "Oh cool. And I just remembered I need some potatoes." Hahahahahahaha I cannot stop laughing at this. Thanks guys. I appreciate it once again. 1
wholeneworld Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I wouldnt stay friends with her from experience, i agreed before and all it did was hold me back, gave me false hope and i ended up back a square one again when one night i told her i still had feelings for her which grew deeper staying in contact with her.
ithappenedagain Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Just remember this. SHE. BROKE. YOUR. HEART. Do you really want to be "friends"?
Author forever_lost Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 I know this is stupid, and I know the answer to this already, but is there anyway to use this my advantage if I would like to reconcile with her in the future? I still have this fleeting fantasy that if we can both move past our problems, we can have a successful try-again. If this is what is what I want (and I'm not sure that it is), should I respond nonchalantly but not commit to being friends? (Sorry, I'm confusing myself. People are telling me different things.)
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Good rule of thumb. No Contact (NC) is a tool that we use to get over our Ex's. It should NEVER be used to try and get our Ex's back. Has using NC caused some Ex's to come crawling back? Yeah....but those cases are few and far inbetween. It's best that you use NC as how it was meant to be. A tool to help you heal and move on. She wants friendship, you want something more....So, if the two of you want different things, then what's the point? Just move on. Heal. 1
Zahara Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I know this is stupid, and I know the answer to this already, but is there anyway to use this my advantage if I would like to reconcile with her in the future? I still have this fleeting fantasy that if we can both move past our problems, we can have a successful try-again. If this is what is what I want (and I'm not sure that it is), should I respond nonchalantly but not commit to being friends? (Sorry, I'm confusing myself. People are telling me different things.) And that is why you stay NC. I'm not sure why people choose to torture themselves by being available to someone that dumped them. It is NOT your responsibility to get her back. It is her responsibility to win you back. It's her responsibility to regain your trust. Your responsibility after someone dumps you is to begin your healing and move on. If she has no issues booting you out of her life, why are you so insistent in trying to grasp at straws to remain in hers? 1
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