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Chatting w MM as OOW ??

Mycatsnuggles

By Mycatsnuggles
in The Other Man / Woman

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IfWishesWereHorses Established Member

IfWishesWereHorses

Posted
Posted
I'm sorry you're going through this. He truly is a predatory POS. You're better off without him!

 

 

 

Sorry. I can't let this slide. The MM she was involved with was vulturous animal. Is he the same type of animal as I am?

 

You say that once a person cheats they become "universally untrustworthy". Universally? You could trust me to watch your purse. Honestly, I'm an adulteress not a thief (or a murderer, or a pedophile, or rapist, or a larcenist, etc. ).

 

Don't call me irrevocably, emotionally broken. I am not out trolling for some side piece like Cat's OM. My goodness. Not all A's are alike. Don't lump us all together. Jeez.

 

Really! He's a vulturous animal because he want 3 wome instead of two! OP subscribed to the theory that it was ok to cheat if he did it for his own happiness. How is this any different! No one called him a murderer or a thief. So you're not trolling for a side piece because that would be wrong?????? One side piece however is understandable and acceptable. Two and you become vulture us? Where did you find these " rules"?

  • Like 6
SugarHibiscus Established Member

SugarHibiscus

Posted
Posted
Really! He's a vulturous animal because he want 3 wome instead of two! OP subscribed to the theory that it was ok to cheat if he did it for his own happiness. How is this any different! No one called him a murderer or a thief. So you're not trolling for a side piece because that would be wrong?????? One side piece however is understandable and acceptable. Two and you become vulture us? Where did you find these " rules"?

 

Again, I took issue with the fact that she said us WS are UNIVERSALLY UNTRUSTWORTHY. Please see my post above.

 

Yes, you become vulturous when you are actively pursing women to add your life. In my case, I was not looking to have an A. Oh, I am culpable for the affair with my OM. (He's more like my main dish by the way. I am perfectly happy and would never want another. :cool:) I just thought it was a perfectly descriptive word. Fit the context. Good image.

 

Whateva. Haters gonna hate.

 

Vulturous:

 

vul·tur·ine (vŭl′chə-rīn′) also vul·tur·ous (-chər-əs)

 

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of a vulture.

2. Rapacious; predatory.

 

 

ra·pa·cious

adjective \rə-ˈpā-shəs\: always wanting more money, possessions, etc.

artdet Member

artdet

Posted
Posted

The problem with affairs, whether there is one or multiple AP involved is the same. In matters of the heart we all want AND deserve fairness and transparency. The original BS wants that, the OM/OW wants that, the OOM/OOW still wants the same thing. You can have as many partners as your heart desires, as long as your current partner/partners are aware and concur.

The devil is in the deceit, in the selfish act of not giving a partner the choice to make an informed decision to stay or walk.

  • Like 1
Speakingofwhich Established Member

Speakingofwhich

Posted
Posted
Really! He's a vulturous animal because he want 3 wome instead of two! OP subscribed to the theory that it was ok to cheat if he did it for his own happiness. How is this any different! No one called him a murderer or a thief. So you're not trolling for a side piece because that would be wrong?????? One side piece however is understandable and acceptable. Two and you become vulture us? Where did you find these " rules"?

 

Interesting concept that two OW per man is no worse than one OW per man. Not sure any rules are written anywhere about it. I would think, though I don't know having never researched it, that having more than one OW relationship happens less often than having one OW R, thereby making it seem somewhat excessive.

 

Just as having two pieces of cake is worse for your health than having one. Or committing two different murders is worse than committing one. Commit one and you're a murderer. Commit two and it seems to me it would be worse. No analogy is perfect, though, obviously.

 

It does seem to me, though, that getting an OOW when you already have an OW is excessive. Getting a third OOW (OOOW?) seems even worse to me.:( JMO. And four, can't imagine, though am sure it's done by someone somewhere! :eek:

  • Like 1
IfWishesWereHorses Established Member

IfWishesWereHorses

Posted
Posted
Again, I took issue with the fact that she said us WS are UNIVERSALLY UNTRUSTWORTHY. Please see my post above.

 

Yes, you become vulturous when you are actively pursing women to add your life. In my case, I was not looking to have an A. Oh, I am culpable for the affair with my OM. (He's more like my main dish by the way. I am perfectly happy and would never want another. :cool:) I just thought it was a perfectly descriptive word. Fit the context. Good image.

 

Whateva. Haters gonna hate.

 

Vulturous:

 

vul·tur·ine (vŭl′chə-rīn′) also vul·tur·ous (-chər-əs)

 

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of a vulture.

2. Rapacious; predatory.

 

 

ra·pa·cious

adjective \rə-ˈpā-shəs\: always wanting more money, possessions, etc.

 

So you're saying basically, that I'd I cheat on my taxes because I went looking for ideas vs. finding the same idea accidentally when someone posted it to Pinterest, that the culpability to the IRS is not the same because of initial intent?

crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted

It's called "karma".

 

This is really page one of the affair handbook. Everyone thinks their situation is different, but they're all the same.

 

The same characterists you are attracted to are the same characteristics that make him into a bad spouse.

  • Like 1
spice4life Established Member

spice4life

Posted
Posted

No. That's not karma. The karma is that she attracted this type of man into her life. It will keep happening until she figures out what is going on inside her to attract men like him. Once she does this kind of guy won't even be on her radar screen.

  • Like 1
goodyblue Established Member

goodyblue

Posted
Posted
It's called "karma".

 

This is really page one of the affair handbook. Everyone thinks their situation is different, but they're all the same.

The same characterists you are attracted to are the same characteristics that make him into a bad spouse.

 

And everyone wonders why I keep saying "Well my affair wasn't like that" Or "We're happily together now, EVERY affair isn't just someone wanting to eat cake".

 

THIS is why! No, they are NOT all the same.

  • Like 1
experiencethedevine Established Member

experiencethedevine

Posted
Posted
I don't disagree with you. I just took issue with saying that all people who have affairs are universally untrustworthy. Come on. My 20 years of fidelity is trumped by my one year affair? It's a mistake, not a character flaw in some cases.

 

 

A valid argument about the issue of being untrustworthy in all areas because one is involved in a clandestine affair, but surely you must recognise that a character flaw is usually responsible for the 'mistake' of an affair?...

  • Like 1
gettingstronger Established Member

gettingstronger

Posted
Posted

Come on. My 20 years of fidelity is trumped by my one year affair? It's a mistake, not a character flaw in some cases.

 

 

Yes, actually it is- my husband was faithful for 17 years-that does not give him a pass to have had his A-it erased all those years in a single, bad choice-he had issues to work out to become who he had been before-but yes, that "mistake" turned him from faithful to cheater and it is a flaw in his character- we all have flaws, infidelity and the ability to lie and cheat is not the one and only character flaw, but it is a flaw all the same-

And YES- there is a huge difference between the "first and only one time offender" and the serial cheater-so please don't read me wrong- I would list all my character flaws but there is not enough time or space for them on here-so don't think I am on a high horse here or anything-

  • Like 2
Sub Established Member

Sub

Posted
Posted
I don't disagree with you. I just took issue with saying that all people who have affairs are universally untrustworthy. Come on. My 20 years of fidelity is trumped by my one year affair? It's a mistake, not a character flaw in some cases.

 

I can understand that. I wouldn't argue that people in A's are universally untrustworthy, or that that trustworthiness can't be regained. I do think however, that in situations like this, the person who's currently in the A relinquishes some sort of moral high ground when it comes to trust. Let's be fair: could you look the BS in the face and try to sell them that the WS is necessarily trustworthy?

  • Like 3
Sub Established Member

Sub

Posted
Posted
He's predatory in that he's out actively preying on woman to dupe. He's a player. I would never seek out an oOM! I can't believe I have this one! When I say I love him, I mean it. I'm not just trying to get in his Dickie's. This dude is out to get him some.

 

Maybe taking the predatory angle wasn't the correct one. The guy is a predator. But the OP was out to get her some as well. (If I had to make a movie analogy, it's like Predator vs. Alien.) So maybe the issue is really the outrage and shock that he could do such a thing. Words from the OP in another thread: "Barring that I will have sex with H and maybe keep OM for me to experience sexually joy." Honestly, we're supposed think revenge is warranted because her sex toy found another playmate?

  • Like 2
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