Mycatsnuggles Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 The titile says it all. It's confirmed I am currently chatting with what I thought was MY man as a potential other woman. So what should I ask. My head is so clouded with anger and my finger hurts from jamming the keyboard. Help LS what would you like to know ask. I might as well play this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 We don't need to know anything. Ditch him, learn from the experience, go No Contact, and move on. Sorted. 5
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Relaying the same message I put on the other thread, you're not obligated to him and he isn't obligated to you. You owe him nothing so I hope you are pissed enough to just end it. Why get into the drama of it all, or play games. You knowingly got involved with a MM and now he's cheating on you (and his wife) with someone else. He has hurt you so don't give him any more opportunities to do that to you again. 7
Author Mycatsnuggles Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Way to angry to feel hurt! This is fabulous to recognize exactly how big a fool I have been. But I need questions come on. He has said "one affair previously who moved away". Help me ladies and men. Oh I will tell him it me it's just how much I will tortuture. BS if giving the opportunity to be the one the man wants not just the fly observing what would you ask?
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Will you quit flogging this? There is no point seeking answers to questions, because, well - it is what it is. He's a schytt. Forget him, leave it be, and go No Contact. 3
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Way to angry to feel hurt! This is fabulous to recognize exactly how big a fool I have been. But I need questions come on. He has said "one affair previously who moved away". Help me ladies and men. Oh I will tell him it me it's just how much I will tortuture. BS if giving the opportunity to be the one the man wants not just the fly observing what would you ask? You have the upper hand, he doesn't know you know he has another OW on the side so I would just log off and let him wonder wtf just happened. Don't say anything to him. Then ignore him. Cut him out of your life. He will figure out soon enough that it was you online. 3
Author Mycatsnuggles Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Sorry not that kind I am in a cat and mouse game and the mouse gets to win and watch the cat sweat yes right one I am enjoying it tomorrow I imagine I will cry,
Eggplant Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Players exploit people's innate ego. You knew he was a player, but on some level, you're surprised that he wouldn't make an exception for you. It doesn't matter -- you could be the most beautiful, wonderful human being on the planet. He wouldn't make an exception. 2
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Players exploit people's innate ego. You knew he was a player, but on some level, you're surprised that he wouldn't make an exception for you. ... The moment a person cheats on their spouse, they become emotionally, universally untrustworthy. And you played into that. You knew what kind of a person he was when you opened your legs for him. He was willing to strum your strings. Is it really so surprising that he has more than one guitar? 12
Eggplant Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Will you quit flogging this? There is no point seeking answers to questions, because, well - it is what it is. He's a schytt. Forget him, leave it be, and go No Contact. Your very basic advice is so very wise. Stop wasting brain cells trying to find an answer: the answer is so simply that he's a schytt, nothing to get interested about. 1
HairTie Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I think people are having a hard time giving you actual questions to ask because they themselves haven't been in a similar situation, but I have. I, too, had the opportunity to ask questions anonymously. I asked various things mostly about sex and feelings because what else is there to ask? I was curious to know what he really thought of me, and thats about it because everything else I wanted to know I could ask him directly. You're angry now, but anger subsides. Make sure that when it does subside, and sadness reaches the surface, you don't make the mistake of keeping in contact with him. There are certain people in this world who will never change. His issues of cheating on his spouse, and cheating with MULTIPLE women are extremely deep rooted. You could be the most beautiful, wonderful woman on the planet, and he'd still cheat on you because his cheating has nothing to do with you and everything to do with himself. Consider him toxic, consider yourself a fool for ever getting with him, and now consider yourself smart for getting far far far away from him. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 No, we're not having a hard time giving her questions to ask - we just don't care. And given the circumstances, neither should she... 1
HairTie Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 You're right she shouldn't care, but she does. She wanted to know what she could ask him to satisfy her curiosity - and I can understand because I've been there. I can't see someone not being tempted by that given the opportunity. Besides, getting the questions she has answered by him, may be beneficial in actually moving on depending on ones character. Telling her to forget about him, go NC, and saying that he's no good isn't exactly a revelation.
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 No, I doubt she cares. She's playing into an adulterous relationship and has just realised she's not the only bit of side-fluff he has, and she's indignant and insulted. But I doubt she's 'hurt' at all... Our advice may not be 'a revelation' but it's the best she's going to get. 4
BetrayedH Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I'm starting to think that almost every OW should try this at home. That said, I agree with Tara that once you know you're being played, get out of the game. 2
Author Mycatsnuggles Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Hair tie yes I want some answers to a few. Questions. How long our entire relationship or is this new, he doesn't deny me says he had a 2 yr ( not 3 ) affair I moved and he's still lonely. I'm numb w hurt he wants to meet my replacement this morning he's moving fast I wii ask questions it's my only opportunity to see what he says. My closure is I'm a fool,for zz3 years. I also want him to delete our account w message s they were for someome else I don't want him,to have the. I will delete mine also and it wii be as though we never existed. Nc with a non entity sounds simple. Yes today I'm hurt angry no tears yet. 25 hours ago I was in his bed while he declared his love for me, very believable I thought I knew him. He shared so many private things. Lethargic today
Realist3 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I guess you will have to go meet him as the OOW, and end it for good. 5
cozycottagelg Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I agree that you need to end it, however I don't want to disregard the pain you are feeling. Did you have a feeling that he wasn't being genuine, and that's what made you reach out to him as OOW?
Author Mycatsnuggles Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Realist your a man right? What would a man do in this situation? He had an old inactive posting on a site every now and then I'd look to see if he posted. Yesterday he sent something to a friend of mine who knew it was him confirmed by the pics. Were over, but I always did want a little fireworks let's end ugly with no way to return.
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 ..... Were over, but I always did want a little fireworks let's end ugly with no way to return. Why?? Why make this any more ugly than it already is? You're not entitled to have anything from this - you're an OW, and if he's a seasoned adulterer, then he's got several "Mycatsnuggles" on the go - and you don't have a say in it. That's not your prerogative. now - if you were his WIFE - I'd understand. But you're not. You're just going to have to get your head around the fact that he' eating banoffee pie from several dishes... And to be honest, there's nothing you can do about it. 6
Sub Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 It's confirmed I am currently chatting with what I thought was MY man... He's married. He's not your man. I don't see how you have a right to be surprised, or angry for that matter. 3
gettingstronger Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Really can not think of anything less productive or more harmful to yourself than what you are doing right now- cut your losses and run-you have all the answers you need-you know exactly what he is going to say and do because you lived it with him-you know who he is and what he is all about- the reality that you were just another in a line is painful but you have to move on-
BetrayedH Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I guess you will have to go meet him as the OOW, and end it for good. I agree with a previous poster that he'd just say, "I knew it was you all along. Oh honey, why do you torture yourself like this?" And you'd be back to square one. 4
Realist3 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Realist your a man right? What would a man do in this situation? He had an old inactive posting on a site every now and then I'd look to see if he posted. Yesterday he sent something to a friend of mine who knew it was him confirmed by the pics. Were over, but I always did want a little fireworks let's end ugly with no way to return. Yes, I'm a man. I would do what I said above. I would go meet him with him thinking you are his prospective new piece and watch his jaw drop to the floor when you walk up. I can think of no better revenge than that. I'm not generally for revenge, but in this case it is certainly warranted. "What are you doing here? Oh.. I'm just here to meet a man a met online. What are you doing here?" Priceless. 7
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