MsLadyLuck Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are both comfortable with each other. We love each other very much. But just last night, he asked for a cool off. He clearly said that he is not trying to break up with me, he just needs time for his family. His father was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and he wants to be there for him. He asked me that we wouldn't have to see each other for awhile. He works 13h a day, on weekends he would spend his time with me. But last night he said he's tired of coping up with me, his father and his job. He hopes that I will understand, he reassured me that the only reason he is asking for time apart is to take care of his dad. But all of this is breaking me apart. I have been crying nonstop. I love this guy so much and not being able to see him for awhile breaks me. He said there is no reason for me to cry because nothing will change between us and he loves me so much but this is something that he just wants to do for the sake of his dad. Any encouraging words please? Thank you so much.
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Given your other thread, I'd accept this is over, go No Contact and move on. You complained about his attitude then, and now he's to all intents and purposes, 'dumping you' on the shelf until such a time as he's ready to consider seeing you again. Look, prostate cancer is a variable. It's not necessarily a killer, and it depends how soon it's caught.... My dad had it, and he was treated for it... He's basically telling you his mind isn't on you. I hate to be harsh, but you need to get a grip, and be determined to find someone who does it for you a whole lot more than this guy does.... (....and is it 4 years - or 5? get your facts straight too, or some folk won't take your threads seriously....)
Author MsLadyLuck Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Sorry about that. It just went 5. I told him be honest and he said that was his only reason. He told me I shouldn't think of anything else. He definitely made it clear to me, and I saw how his dad is doing, he can't barely walk. I also know how much he loves his father, since he was a delinquent in the past. He told me he wants to repay everything they have done to him. He told me nothing will change, he will still call me everyday and I can check up on him. He just wants to give the weekend to his family for now so that they will know that he is there for them. I seriously just don't know how to deal with this. I am very sorry I'm really a mess right now. Idk how to take it.
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Ok. Take this thread in context with your other thread - and my advice STILL STANDS. If it wasn't for this situation, you would still be lamenting the other stuff. It's not really very positive, is it?
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Sorry about that. It just went 5. I told him be honest and he said that was his only reason. He told me I shouldn't think of anything else. He definitely made it clear to me, and I saw how his dad is doing, he can't barely walk. I also know how much he loves his father, since he was a delinquent in the past. He told me he wants to repay everything they have done to him. He told me nothing will change, he will still call me everyday and I can check up on him. He just wants to give the weekend to his family for now so that they will know that he is there for them. I seriously just don't know how to deal with this. I am very sorry I'm really a mess right now. Idk how to take it. Then what exactly is the point of this "cooling off"? Is he afraid you won't be understanding if he devotes more time on the weekends to his family for a while? It would seem to me that a person would want the support of their partner during a difficult time. Something is not right about this. I think he's having doubts about the relationship and the general stress of caring for an ill parent is highlighting that fact. 1
Author MsLadyLuck Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 I am just taken a back of what happening right now and it is affecting me badly. Thank you for your replies. It really meant a lot.
Recommended Posts