tdd Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) I decided to edit this post, because it ended up being too long. To make a long story short, I was seeing this guy for 3 months. Typical player attitude where he didn't want a girlfriend, loved being single, likes sleeping around and hadn't dated anyone in 5 years. It was perfect for me, cause I was going away anyways. I wanted it to be casual, but it just began to seem more serious. He started treating me like a girlfriend and acting very relationshipy and clingy. When I left, he was devastated and we kept in contact the entire time I was away... I came back and things went back to how they were, until a couple weeks later I saw him at the bar with some girl. I asked him what was going on, he freaked out at me and told me he will never want a girlfriend because he wants to be able to sleep with whoever. We kept seeing each other, but he dumped me in May so he could only see this new girl. He said we should be friends, he didn't want to hurt me and we have a group of mutual friends so I tried to make it work. We ended up hooking up a couple times, lost touch then starting sleeping together again a few times. The whole thing from start until now has been going on since August 2012, he has been seeing that other girl since February 2013. Now apparently they are dating, but I never know what the status is, because no one ever really defines it. My main problem was I was completely heartbroken by this, and felt like he chose this girl over me. He said he never wanted a girlfriend but then decides he is going to make her his girlfriend and I will never understand that or be able to accept it. I cried for months and months, anytime we were out I would cry and have to leave, my friends started resenting me for it. I finally came to the epiphany that I would rather be alone than be in her shoes, thinking this guy really cares about me, meanwhile he is sleeping with so many girls including me behind her back. And the rational side of me understands why he is with her, and no longer cares... However the emotional side of me is so completely ruined, that any mention of her and him dong something together, or being officially dating, or him not being "single" just triggers something in me and I completely break down. Whether I am completely intoxicated or sober. It happened to me at a party this weekend where I heard his brother say he wasn't single, and I broke down crying and had to leave. I just wish I knew how to control this side of my emotions, and get it somewhat on par with my rational thoughts that have moved on from it and accept the situation for what it is... because soon enough, I will lose all my friends since I can't handle being around him at all it seems like. And even when I am around him, I don't know how I should act. I try to be friendly and he acts weird, thinking I am in love with him or makes me feel stupid for trying... but when I then pay not attention to him and do my own thing, he comes up making comments to get reactions from me, dancing all over me or flirting. So I never really know what I am supposed to do in these situations. Any advice for moving on completely from something that has left you so completely heartbroken, that no matter how hard you try, you can't control how upset you get about the dumbest things revolving around the relationship? Edited February 25, 2014 by tdd
dozer561 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 you sound young.. you should send a thank you card, AND an i'm sorry your stuck with that douchebag card to that girl, (just kidding), but seriously she did you a favor. why are you giving so much power to a jackbag self proclaimed player/badboy. you had a 3month casual thing with. only advice is time, and stay busy. i'm still getting over a 7+year relationship. you will be fine, this guy is not worth the trouble or emotional power you are giving him.
StGeorge22 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Not sure why you would even give this guy the time of day. Still sleeping with him has given him all the power. Sounds like a complete douche, best thing you can do is act indifferent and ignore him. Will be a crush to his ego if he tries to pick you up again, even if he acts like it isn't. Fact is he just doesn't want a relationship with you, sorry to be so blunt, time to find a nice guy who wouldn't treat you like that 1
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