referenced someone calling me his girlfriend in a story

[my body is a cage]

quick question:

 

started sleeping w my friend with whom ive been friends with for 4 years. he has always made it clear that he has had a crush on me, and while i was attracted to him, i always turned him down for a number of reasons.

 

for the past 2 months or so, we have been hooking up 2-3 times a week. im not sure if i've started falling for him. i think he's confused too. as of know, we are not exclusive, and i don't feel jealous - we both talk about other girls and guys abstractly, not in detail, but we're definitely both aware - which is ok. i have told him, or at least initially told him, i do not want to date him. he never specified either way with me.

 

at first sleeping with him was so overwhelming, i tried to tell him we needed some space. he protested vehemently and said i was one of his most valuable friendships, and offered to help me move etc. since then we've been spending a LOT of time together, ev even several days in a row.

 

so, question: a couple of days ago, we were hanging out at his place and i was tipsy and accidentally stumbled into his new roommate (whom he does not know well)'s room at 2 am and woke her up. she (understandably) i brought it up yesterday, and he was like 'oh yeah, she talked to me about that.'

 

i mentioned it again because i felt bad when we were hanging out with his friend, and he recounted the story for him. he said, ' yeah, she called me and was like when you and your GIRLFRIEND came into my room the other night..."

 

so basically, was this his way of testing the water re how i would respond t6o being called his "girlfriend"? or does this mean nothing at all? i've heard that when someone does not correct another person for refering to a certain person as your boy/girlfriend, that means the person wants that status.

 

am i totally overthinking this? or does this have some merit? i'm not sure what i want, but we have been increasingly affectionate with each other. i would consider dating him, at this point, i think. he is a really great guy, and i dont want to lose him. as a friend or otherwise. also, i shared something really personal and difficult about my family history with him yesterday, which im worried may have been overly intense.

 

thoughts?

 

thanks

[Silver93]

quick question:

 

started sleeping w my friend with whom ive been friends with for 4 years. he has always made it clear that he has had a crush on me, and while i was attracted to him, i always turned him down for a number of reasons.

 

for the past 2 months or so, we have been hooking up 2-3 times a week. im not sure if i've started falling for him. i think he's confused too. as of know, we are not exclusive, and i don't feel jealous - we both talk about other girls and guys abstractly, not in detail, but we're definitely both aware - which is ok. i have told him, or at least initially told him, i do not want to date him. he never specified either way with me.

 

at first sleeping with him was so overwhelming, i tried to tell him we needed some space. he protested vehemently and said i was one of his most valuable friendships, and offered to help me move etc. since then we've been spending a LOT of time together, ev even several days in a row.

 

so, question: a couple of days ago, we were hanging out at his place and i was tipsy and accidentally stumbled into his new roommate (whom he does not know well)'s room at 2 am and woke her up. she (understandably) i brought it up yesterday, and he was like 'oh yeah, she talked to me about that.'

 

i mentioned it again because i felt bad when we were hanging out with his friend, and he recounted the story for him. he said, ' yeah, she called me and was like when you and your GIRLFRIEND came into my room the other night..."

 

so basically, was this his way of testing the water re how i would respond t6o being called his "girlfriend"? or does this mean nothing at all? i've heard that when someone does not correct another person for refering to a certain person as your boy/girlfriend, that means the person wants that status.

 

am i totally overthinking this? or does this have some merit? i'm not sure what i want, but we have been increasingly affectionate with each other. i would consider dating him, at this point, i think. he is a really great guy, and i dont want to lose him. as a friend or otherwise. also, i shared something really personal and difficult about my family history with him yesterday, which im worried may have been overly intense.

 

thoughts?

 

thanks

 

I am no expert obviously but what I took from that is that he wants you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

If he didn't want that surely he would have changed it to friend.

I could be wrong but thats what I got from it.

Hope this helps

[my body is a cage]

ps - i asked him if he was in love with me a few months ago, and he responded ' oh i dont know, maybe.' this sounds obnoxious i know, but this is the kind of back and forth we have. also i mentioned that he would have rather been dating me tahn his ex gf, and he said 'yeah maybe.' to that as well. she was always very threatened by me, and he said that once they got into a fight and he said 'fine! we'rew breaking up and im going straight to my body is a cage"

 

am i just flattering myself here? ive been in a lot of bad relationships, i dont want to get burned again or burn him or have something go wrong. i m hoping that this could actually be the begin ing of a good relationship based on care, trust, and respect, but im afraid to hope that. how should i proceed?

 

pps. we are affectionate in front of other people/ pda, aslo. idk.

[my body is a cage]

I am no expert obviously but what I took from that is that he wants you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

If he didn't want that surely he would have changed it to friend.

I could be wrong but thats what I got from it.

Hope this helps

 

ahh ok YIKES! haha this does help and make me happy but it also makes me nervous. i dont want things to go wrong!

[my body is a cage]

any other takers? is this just a disaster waiting to happen??!

[my body is a cage]

no?> no one? none??

[TXGuy]

If I read it right, he did not call you his girlfriend. He related a story where his roommate referred to you as his girlfriend.

 

You and your beau are banging several times a week for some time. As far as the roommate is concerned you are his girlfriend.

 

As far as him not correcting her, I don't see that as having any significance. Who would want to try to clarify the distinction to the roommate.

[my body is a cage]

Ok yeah , that's what I was thinking tex, although maybe w slightly more positive bent ; ) I agree the distinction doesn't really matter at this point.

 

Although, the fact that he mentioned it so casually and didn't seem phased or recoil w disgust is good, right? I think that means he has at least considered the idea, or could be open or comfortable w it. It ALMOSt seemed like he was kin of proud to mention the misunderstanding to his friend (without explicitly stating it was an understanding, so yeah, also good?)

 

Idk, I just want to relax and let things unfold with out panicking. I still need time so sort my own feelings out, to be fair to both parties. Although, maybe my overanalysis and wishful thinking in this regard means I do want this to happen ... Idk!

 

Regardless, I know we like each other "quite a bit" (we've stated this) clearly enjoy banging, so? So far so good? He's more sensitive and emotional that he lets on.

 

We went shopping together sunday.

 

PS he said to me before re guys 'I mean, if you're hotter than his ex girlfriends and really cool the guy is GOING to want to date you. Or really good at sex. Just don't say weird things.' Well I KNoW I have all that down , except maybe the 'saying weird things' part. Maybe that is where I will falter??

 

PPS. Sory so long and of typos - on phone

 

 

Tl;dr - not exclusive, don't get too comfortable, don't panicking. Also, all good for now, carry on, decide what you want. Try not to always be weird.

 

I mean, it can't be bad right??

[Salvatore85]

He likes you, you like him. You're sleeping together and your relationship started off as a friendship so you two already know you get along. It's really not that complicated, you've been in crappy relationships and he represents what seems like a good one...stop overthinking it and date the guy. Sheesh

[my body is a cage]

He likes you, you like him. You're sleeping together and your relationship started off as a friendship so you two already know you get along. It's really not that complicated, you've been in crappy relationships and he represents what seems like a good one...stop overthinking it and date the guy. Sheesh

 

Ha ok, duly noted. Thanks. Ido have a tendency to over clomplicate, fer sher

[Sivok]

Well, I think it's easy to see his perspective if you put yourself in his shoes.

 

You say he's had a crush on you for a looong time and fought for you when you wanted to back off after sex. When you've had a massive crush on someone, do you typically just want to sleep with them every now and then? Or do you want them all to yourself?

 

I don't know about you, but when I have a real crush on a girl, I want her to be all mine in mind and body!

 

We can't know for sure what the roommate meant - maybe an assumption, maybe he stretched the story and said you were his gf, we don't know.

 

What we do know is he has a crush on you, and my assumption is he's trying his best to play it cool but DAMN does he want a relationship with you. I mean, you guys were friends for years - the only factor missing out of that relationship was the sex

Edited February 26, 2014 by Sivok