Jenny27 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) Hi, sorry I'm new here so not sure if I'm posting in the right bit! Basically myself and my other half have just had a massive argument, I have found out he has been taking and dealing sterriods. It all started about 3 weeks ago when he decided to start a new diet and gym regime, I thought nothing of it to begin with, he's been doing stuff like this all of the time. I have been with my other half for 8 and a half years, he is the kindest, funniest most caring person I have ever met. In the last three weeks this all changed. It all started when he randomly told me that he thought we both wanted different things and he just walked out of our house for about 3 hours. Each day he would disappear or get home late etc and it started to bother me, I told him that I felt like we never spent any time together and he was distancing himself from me. Anyway the pattern was that we would have one heck of an argument then be fine then another argument and then normal again only I knew things were not 'normal' at all. It all basically came to a climax this evening, once again we started arguing (can I just add that he is the one to start the arguments, I try to ignore his jibes) it all got very heated and he said he was leaving me, obviously I am distraught about this and I beg him (even though I am so unhappy) to stay, in doing this I grab hold of his bag and start emptying it, to my dismay I pull out a tub of sterriods in tablet form and some in liquid form you drink and lastly the stuff you inject. I was distraught , more because he had been sneaking around but also because he swore he would never touch the stuff and that his way to get musclier was to work hard and eat right...anyway I grabbed hold of the sterriods and ran with them, I said I would get rid of them and then he just turned into this raging bull , I have never seen him so angry, he was twisting my arm every way possible and very nearly broke it until I gave him back the sterriods. He told me that he would be in a lot of trouble if he lost it...with that he left me, and I'm distraught. To think just over a month ago we were great he was his old self and now 8 years of our relationship has been destroyed. I'm not sure what to do...any advice would be so appreciated. Edited February 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and edited title
OhThatGirl Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Walk away. Don't look back. Don't plead or beg. If he touched you, became enraged, physically hurt you to get steroids back it is only going to get worse. Based on your own account of "begging him" even when you're unhappy and then saying you grabbed the steroids and ran with them, this needs to end. You need to grow up and he needs to be in a situation where he can't become enraged and hurt you. Move on. This is a giant mess. 3
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Oh dear what a mess hun x U have 8 years behind u though I think thats worth one last, honest conversation... u or the steroids... he may actually need help. I dont think u should just walk what he did was wrong but steroids do cause rage... not that its an excuse but if u feel its totally out of character then that might be the reason why. Good luck xx 1
Andy_K Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I was distraught , more because he had been sneaking around but also because he swore he would never touch the stuff and that his way to get musclier was to work hard and eat right... This happens to a lot of guys... Once they realise they can't get as 'big' as they wanted to be just from hard work (check out some natural bodybuilders - they are ripped but not always very packed with muscle - if you see anyone much bigger than that, they are almost always on something), they look for the next step. You can view them as a mind altering drug. As such he either quits immediately and permanently, or your relationship is over. 1
David87 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 The steroids are messing with his head. This kind of behavior isn't healthy. You did all you could to save this relationship. He has to choose between you and the sterioids and most important he will have to apologise.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Run. Don't walk. He is abusive and endangering your health and safety. He is also putting you in harm's way by becoming involved with illegal activity - he is dealing with shady characters and what would happen if he ever gets caught doing this? You could be implicated in his crimes, too. For SO many reasons, you need to take youself out of this immediately. Also, I imagine this has been going on longer than you know. People typically don't go from law-abiding and drug-avoiding to user and dealer in three short weeks. I have a bad feeling there's much more to this than you suspect. When did he suddenly say that you wanted different things? I'm just wondering how that comment compares to the timeline of events with his drug use. A former family friend of mine got into steroids, and things turned very ugly and illegal. Please PM me if you want. You need to protect yourself first and foremost, OP.
OhThatGirl Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 One more thing. Where is he getting the needles for injecting the steroids? Is he using a new out of a sealed package needle every time? Shady characters think because they're not injecting IV drugs they won't have risk for HIV and Hepatitis. Umm but there is a risk. And the fact he's been injecting things and you don't know about it and don't know about the origin of those needles means he has disregarded your health. Please just leave this guy.
Assasda Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Because you grabbed his steroids and ran, it makes me believe that you are a very needy person. And he's leaving you because youre needy. You dont want to function on your own, you think you need him to be fully functioning. You shouldnt be with this guy, for both your sakes
PogoStick Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Running off with someone's steroids is pretty dramatic. The real story is the relationship is broken. I doubt it's been 8 Good years if you are honest with yourself.
Assasda Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Your post is so absurd and off base that I don't even know where to start with it. In any other case you may be remotely on target, but you've managed to gloss over the part where he's on three different forms of steroids, including injections, lying to his partner of 8 years, exhibiting extreme levels of temper and physically laid hands on them. Whatever makes you think now is the time to give OP advice like they're in some flowery new relationship and they're having a lovers spat is truly beyond me. OP, your situation is incredibly tough. Drugs are weird, and they have a really shltty way of changing people. Physical contact alone makes me inclined to say leave, I know it's super hard though because of the time together. If you do meet with him again to talk, you need to play that carefully and keep yourself safe. I know that he was on three different kind of steroid. She knew that too, but she obviously wasnt sickened by it, she just wanted attention from him. So she ran with them. Your Simpleton approach to this problem is one that is absurd. #Drugsareweird
Noproblem Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 Oh, I didn't know steroids can do that to people! I'm go to gym everyday and I admire people who work hard and tone their body, lose weight and gain muscles. But seriously if any guy thinks that getting huge is appealing, he should think again... because it's not ... Some muscles are attractive , but to have big and huge muscles, thinking you are a beast...is not attractive to many girls. Anyway, I'm sorry for what happened to your relationship.... You can try to fix him, but he might kill you in the process..... This guy need an intervention His family, friends and you.... If he insists on taking them, well, You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed. So, it's time to focus on yourself and move on. Best of luck
Ride2Live Posted March 2, 2014 Posted March 2, 2014 I am not sure if it was wise to run off with his steroids. Steroids have a profound effect on mood, aggression, due to the massive increase in testosterone levels in the body. Not to mention they are illegal. If you get caught with them with him then you can be arrested as well. Steroids also have a lot of bad side effects that can be life altering and have lasting effects. Infertility is one of them. You need to remove yourself from this situation in my opinion.
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