Driftking102 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) So i got back out there and am seeing this new girl. Shes really into me. She let me kiss her on our first date night, we made out and cuddled, we watched a romantic movie. She stayed at my apartment until 9:30pm on friday. She even met my sister who stays with me at the apartment. She showed me all her photograph's of her family and stuff. She even said she wanted me to meet her friends. When I asked about a relationship in the future she said we will see with a smile. We hungout saturday for 15 minutes at her place she was house sitting at because she was sick and didn't feel well. I came over and comforted her and held her hand and we made out. As I left she called me babe and we both really wanted to hangout with each other again. She said we will when we can. She thinks it would be really fun to hangout at my apartment and play a board game with me. Now the question: When trying to plan our next date night, she is busy the next week and tells me what she is doing each day. When I ask her about next Friday or Saturday, she says she can't plan to far in advance. I am thinking I should be patient and just play hard to get? Any thoughts? She also said we will play it by ear before she mentioned she cannot plan that far in advance. Edited February 24, 2014 by Driftking102
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 A week isn't that far in advance. I'd be cautious that she's waiting for a better offer from someone else, unless she has an unpredictable job like doctor, EMT, police officer etc. 4
Tayken Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 It means...if you for whatever reason end up with this person, your life will be miserable, and your relationship will hinge on spontaneity all the time...especially when it comes to huge decisions like having a child, buying a house etc My ex always though I was anal because I like to plan and be organized.....my point always was, one can't expect to coast through life without plans i.e. things just don't fall into place. You need goals and aspirations to be successful in life 1
mammasita Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 She can't plan a week in advance? $hit, I plan things months in advance Quite a few possibilities all leading back to you having issues if you pursue her IMO. She's not that into you, she could be multi dating and/or she could be extremely spontaneous......
amaysngrace Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 A week isn't that far in advance at all. I think she's blowing you off. You put too much pressure on her. Introducing her to your sister already probably put her over the edge. Clingy comes to mind :/
Author Driftking102 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 My ex was the same way. Could never plan in advance. I think that's what most girls of this generation are though. They don't like planning in advance. I will just be patient and see how things go.
Author Driftking102 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 She can't plan a week in advance? $hit, I plan things months in advance Quite a few possibilities all leading back to you having issues if you pursue her IMO. She's not that into you, she could be multi dating and/or she could be extremely spontaneous...... Im pretty sure shes into me. she let me kiss her and makeout with her on first date. She let me hold her hand as well. 2nd semi-date she called me babe when I was with her. From my experience that usually takes months for someone to call you babe if they are interested in you.
HokeyReligions Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) Ditto what others said Edited March 3, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed non relevant parts
Author Driftking102 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Why don't you ask HER what it means? Strangers on the internet don't know why she said what she said. It probably doesn't 'mean' anything. Im going to my fifth counseling session tommorow so I will ask her Her meaning my counselor.
robbysurfs Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 It means exactly what it means "she cant plan that far in advance" Being consumed with a future that is not here yet can get spiral out and drive you nuts, do not get caught up in that fantasy. keep it in the day if she wants to hang she will if doesn't she wont its really that simple I wouldn't over analyze it.
Chalkdust89 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Without knowing exactly why she is busy all of next week, I can say that I'm a very busy person, and when I have a lot planned, it sometimes stresses me out to even think about putting one more thing on my schedule until I take care of everything else I need to do. Sometimes being able to play something by ear is refreshing. Sometimes after a few days of busy plans, you don't know if you'll want to hang out with someone or just want to hang out at home in your PJs (especially if you are sick). I don't think playing hard to get is a good idea (though to be honest, I rarely do because I don't like games). Just tell her to let you know when she is free and be understanding that stuff comes up. If you pressure her into making plans, there's a chance she'll get nervous/stressed and flake out. Have some other options of things to do just in case she doesn't call.
Author Driftking102 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Without knowing exactly why she is busy all of next week, I can say that I'm a very busy person, and when I have a lot planned, it sometimes stresses me out to even think about putting one more thing on my schedule until I take care of everything else I need to do. Sometimes being able to play something by ear is refreshing. Sometimes after a few days of busy plans, you don't know if you'll want to hang out with someone or just want to hang out at home in your PJs (especially if you are sick). I don't think playing hard to get is a good idea (though to be honest, I rarely do because I don't like games). Just tell her to let you know when she is free and be understanding that stuff comes up. If you pressure her into making plans, there's a chance she'll get nervous/stressed and flake out. Have some other options of things to do just in case she doesn't call. Yeah I think this is the most logical response ive gotten from people on this forum in awhile. I am just going to be patient and not stress out. I get too over excited when I enter in a new relationship. Its awesome with this girl because I don't have to think about the future at all. We have so many things in common and awesome chemistry that we just talk about those things.
organizedchaos Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 My ex was the same way. Could never plan in advance. I think that's what most girls of this generation are though. They don't like planning in advance. I will just be patient and see how things go. My ex was the same way. Together for almost 3 years. Some girls are just like this.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 My ex was the same way. Could never plan in advance. I think that's what most girls of this generation are though. They don't like planning in advance. I will just be patient and see how things go. That's quite a generalization. I'm a woman and don't consider a week too far in advance to plan. At all. She might be busy; it might mean nothing. It could also mean she's got other options and wants to keep that door open. Heck, she could be trying to play "coy" and keep you interested. Be patient and see where it goes; don't get too excited just yet.
OhThatGirl Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 If I was dating someone I really liked I would be willing to make plans to see him well beyond a week in advance. That being said, I guess it depends on what she has going on in life. Remember things that get prioritized are things that 1) we want to do most, have limited availability for scheduling, or are absolute necessicities. If I really like a guy, I'm making him a priority. I will try to plan time with him and schedule other things around him. Granted I won't tell him this though. Don't want to seem that desperate. That being said... Are you ready to be jumping in to something so soon? Sounds like your 3 year relationship just ended about a week ago. Rebounding can have some temporary benefit but may cause more long term pain. Be careful not to get so caught up in this new possibility that you forget to evaluate and learn from your last relationship. There seemed to be some glaring issues in the last relationship that will continue in future relationships until you do the work to change your patterns. Already when you say she "let you" kiss her, hold her hand, etc. Let you? Huh? Was she participating back? Was she taking initiative? Or was she just not putting up a fight? Subtle cues are everything. Just because a person lets me do something doesn't mean it's appropriate or that I think highly of them for letting me do it. You're jumping in to this pretty fast. First date, introduced to sister, at your apartment, making out (while she's sick???) and her calling you babe... It really makes me think you've got more work to do on examining why your past relationship failed. More importantly, why it didn't fail sooner. (Hint: you had no boundaries in place, you did some absurd things because you thought thats what loving was all about) You're doomed to make the same mistakes until you really see what went wrong and how. Just be careful. You're young but not that young. How is this time different? What are you going to do to ensure you don't end up in the same situation you just got out of? 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I think she is just making herself look busy and aloof to keep u on your toes ! x but do keep an eye open xx
Author Driftking102 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 If I was dating someone I really liked I would be willing to make plans to see him well beyond a week in advance. That being said, I guess it depends on what she has going on in life. Remember things that get prioritized are things that 1) we want to do most, have limited availability for scheduling, or are absolute necessicities. If I really like a guy, I'm making him a priority. I will try to plan time with him and schedule other things around him. Granted I won't tell him this though. Don't want to seem that desperate. That being said... Are you ready to be jumping in to something so soon? Sounds like your 3 year relationship just ended about a week ago. Rebounding can have some temporary benefit but may cause more long term pain. Be careful not to get so caught up in this new possibility that you forget to evaluate and learn from your last relationship. There seemed to be some glaring issues in the last relationship that will continue in future relationships until you do the work to change your patterns. Already when you say she "let you" kiss her, hold her hand, etc. Let you? Huh? Was she participating back? Was she taking initiative? Or was she just not putting up a fight? Subtle cues are everything. Just because a person lets me do something doesn't mean it's appropriate or that I think highly of them for letting me do it. You're jumping in to this pretty fast. First date, introduced to sister, at your apartment, making out (while she's sick???) and her calling you babe... It really makes me think you've got more work to do on examining why your past relationship failed. More importantly, why it didn't fail sooner. (Hint: you had no boundaries in place, you did some absurd things because you thought thats what loving was all about) You're doomed to make the same mistakes until you really see what went wrong and how. Just be careful. You're young but not that young. How is this time different? What are you going to do to ensure you don't end up in the same situation you just got out of? It was a 2 year relationship. Me and this new girl click really well and we have amazing chemistry. We like all the same stuff. She also participates back. She cuddled up next to me on the couch and laid her head on my chest while we were watching the movie and held my hand. I think shes really into me as well. We switch off and on for initiating texts because I think that's fair. That way one person doesn't do all the work. Hopefully things workout.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I would guess she's not really that into you. I have a super super busy life but if I like a guy I will make time for him, and make concrete plans so I know for sure I get to spend time with him. Even if that means planning a 2 hour hangout ten days into the future, I'll finalise the plan and diarise it. She may not be as organised as me, but if she's unwilling to make plans, and very busy, what would you get out of dating her anyway? Wishy washy plans don't work for me and if you value your time, they shouldn't for you either. Are you expected to wait around and keep Saturday free in case she wants to hang out? No, if she isn't going to make a plan then get busy doing whatever you'd do that night anyway, see your friends! If a guy told me that I'd say 'okay that's cool, I'll probably make some other plans for that night then. Let me know when you have a time you can meet and we will go out! Take care'
hasaquestion Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 It was a 2 year relationship. Me and this new girl click really well and we have amazing chemistry. We like all the same stuff. She also participates back. She cuddled up next to me on the couch and laid her head on my chest while we were watching the movie and held my hand. I think shes really into me as well. We switch off and on for initiating texts because I think that's fair. That way one person doesn't do all the work. Hopefully things workout. 10 days in advance is a really long time. Isn't that kind of weird? Making plans for well into NEXT week? Don't read into it.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 10 days in advance is a really long time. Isn't that kind of weird? Making plans for well into NEXT week? Don't read into it. It's not too long if you are both really busy. I mean, say we hung out on a Monday and wanted to get together next week, but couldn't meet until the Wednesday. That's ten days! It's pretty normal if you both had full and busy lives before you met one another. Depends if you both have regular 9-5s and a quiet social life or if you both are juggling multiple commitments. Actually when it got to the ten days later, I was suddenly given a shift at work I couldn't afford to turn down. So I told him I'd be busy until late (10pm) and if he wanted to try for another day soon that's cool. He said no, it's not too late I really want to see you. So we met up late in the night.
slizl Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I'm going to go with she is waiting for a better option to come along. If a girl is into you, she would not hesitate to make plans a week in advance. You will either hear from her that night to meet up with her that night, or not hear from her at all. I woudl suggest not communication with her until she reaches out to you first. If she does, don't ask her if she still wants to hang on the weekend, let her bring it up. Good luck.
FortunateSon Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I agree with what many others have said, in my experience if a girl is into you she will MAKE time to see you and not hesitate to make plans. It sounds like she may not be as into you as you think and may be weighing other options. I wouldn't invest too much more into it.
Author Driftking102 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 I'm going to go with she is waiting for a better option to come along. If a girl is into you, she would not hesitate to make plans a week in advance. You will either hear from her that night to meet up with her that night, or not hear from her at all. I woudl suggest not communication with her until she reaches out to you first. If she does, don't ask her if she still wants to hang on the weekend, let her bring it up. Good luck. That's exactly what my best friend said. Shes been texting me frequently first but I also want it to be somewhat even on whose texting first. I tend to switch it up sometimes like she will text me two days first and then i will text her one day first. She texted me in the middle of the night at 11pm so I will text her in the middle of the night. That type of thing. I am not going to be bringing up hanging out again and will just wait. My best friend says I already have a gain when starting this. The girl told me the ex did not have any friends and that was really unattractive. I have 5 friends that I hangout with on a frequent basis so that gives me a gain I think.
slizl Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Well, I would say to make plans with your friends this weekend. If she does end up trying to connect, let her know that you already have plans. If she doesn't try to connect, you have plans already.
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