Stay_Gold Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Ever been in a relationship where you feel like your spouse/partner looked or acted exactly like your opposite sex parent...??? Guy here and I used to date this girl that reminded me of my mom. It freaking scared the hell out of me and was a BIG TURN OFF. I felt like I was dating my mom FOR REAL. Because of that...I decided to end the relationship. What made it even more scarier...was the fact that she acted and did things EXACTLY like my mom too. Her personality was real similar to my mom. After having this experience...I decided I would not date within my race/ethnicity and would rather date outside. I am assuming...dating someone outside my race/ethnicity would lessen my chances of meeting someone that reminds me of my mom physically. I remember reading an article a while back and remember that apparently...there is a explanation/theory for why people choose a partner that looks like their opposite sex parent. I forgot the exact details of the article...but I remember it saying that there is substantial research and science to prove this theory/fact in human anthropology/history.
BradJacobs Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 None of the women I've been with have looked anything like my mother. That's kind of creepy in my book.
salparadise Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) I remember reading an article a while back and remember that apparently...there is a explanation/theory for why people choose a partner that looks like their opposite sex parent. I forgot the exact details of the article...but I remember it saying that there is substantial research and science to prove this theory/fact in human anthropology/history. Yes, the theory is accepted by many. In a sentence or two it goes like this... we are born whole, but as small children we learn that parts of us are unacceptable. We learn to split off those pieces of the self in order to be lovable to our primary care taker, usually the mother, which is necessary for survival. We spend the rest of our lives seeking to heal the old wounds in order to reunite with the part of our self that we lost. Since we split off part of the self for the mother, father, or primary caretaker, it follows that they would hold the key to making us whole again. We form an image in our subconscious that is a composite of the figures in early life for whom we repressed parts of the self, and people who match this composite image, the imago, are the people we find attractive. This can manifest in ways other than physical appearance; attitudes, a way of being that resembles the imago. This dovetails with Freud's concepts of the Oedipus complex and the stages of psycho-sexual development. It is explained in detail in a book entitled, "Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendricks. He goes on to explain that marriage issues arise after a few years because of the resentment each partner develops toward the other for having that ability, but withholding or refusing to make good on that expectation. Edited February 25, 2014 by salparadise
FitChick Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 I don't know anyone whose spouse looks like their dad. Often the opposite. I'm not attracted to my dad's type at all. The incest taboo.
Got it Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Ever been in a relationship where you feel like your spouse/partner looked or acted exactly like your opposite sex parent...??? Guy here and I used to date this girl that reminded me of my mom. It freaking scared the hell out of me and was a BIG TURN OFF. I felt like I was dating my mom FOR REAL. Because of that...I decided to end the relationship. What made it even more scarier...was the fact that she acted and did things EXACTLY like my mom too. Her personality was real similar to my mom. After having this experience...I decided I would not date within my race/ethnicity and would rather date outside. I am assuming...dating someone outside my race/ethnicity would lessen my chances of meeting someone that reminds me of my mom physically. I remember reading an article a while back and remember that apparently...there is a explanation/theory for why people choose a partner that looks like their opposite sex parent. I forgot the exact details of the article...but I remember it saying that there is substantial research and science to prove this theory/fact in human anthropology/history. No but I did realize that my ex husband was very similar to my mother in thinking style and emotional make up.
ascendotum Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 Actually that element somewhat influences my choice of gf but in the opposite sense. ...so not for me. There is also a theory that what order you were born into a family influences your personality and that influences your choice of partner in terms of someone of similar nature. That has not been 100% true for me either. With the ones I was attracted to the most, no, but with the ones I got on the easiest with, then yes.
crederer Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 My ex is now with a guy that looks almost exactly like her brother......just saying.
Recommended Posts