He asked me how many people i've slept with!!

February 25, 2014

Im very perceptive to character, and I have my ways of finding out the truth. Either way, the deceptive ways of many women is why Im happily single =)

Seriously I'm genuinely curious. What are your "ways" of finding out the truth. Being perceptive to character is no surefire way to find out if someone is lying or not.

February 25, 2014

There you go again, being judgmental...

Why is a girl a skank with no standards if she has slept around and has a high number?

I have standards and I am not a skank yet I have slept with nearly 20 men.
How the heck do YOU know how I feel about sex NOW, in the present? How do you know how I value sex based on my past actions?
How do you know I value sex differently than my near virgin friends?
How do you know I have routinely slept around with many guys per year?

I average ONE guy per year. Bar 5 months of my life where I slept around, which was due to depression. I saw a therapist regularly. Sleeping around is not my style in general. I used it as a coping mechanism which made things worse, so I sought out professional help.

I resorted to getting professional help due to my promiscuous ways, since it was way out of character for me and it damaged me. I chose to get help for me, because it isn't who I wanted to become.

Shame on you and the men who think I am a skank, when I average 1 guy per year, and act the same way my conservative mates do, bar 5 months of my adult life.

It is a little ignorant of you to assume high count girls are fundamentally skanks, without researching HOW they amassed their high number of men?,
How do you know they are out spreading their legs every weekend?
I am sure not doing this^^^^^ and I am a high number gal.....
I do feel comfortable sleeping "around" with many men every year at all.

It is disgustingly judgmental of you to assume high count women like myself are skanks with no standards......

But... you're saying it damaged you and it wasn't who you wanted to become.

You're not wearing your number like a badge of honour, but seem rather ashamed of it?

The context of it is important, if a girl confided in me saying this then I could reasonably believe her attitude towards it and future behaviour would be completely different, and I would overlook her number.

But if a girl said to me "yeah I sleep around, sex is just sex, just an itch to scratch." then I'd head for the hills.

February 25, 2014

Sooooo. Ignorant.

You're so right.

I am at college being educated whilst doing an additional diploma course on the side, nice flat and car, very well travelled, expensive clothes, well spoken and generous. I work out and look decent/not off putting.

I do not get drunk, only drink wine (get tipsy only, never drunk) and I am a beer enthusiast (drunk one from just about every country).

But HEY, cos' I have had a high number of sexual partners, about 17 - 20 at age 27, I SURELY must be out at clubs every weekend and spreading my legs for any dude who asks me:lmao:

Me and my church going good friend, who tried to avoid sex before marriage, have the same views on sex. Funny that!

We both believe that sex is ideal between you and a loving partner.

Oh wait, but due to a 5 month promiscuous period due to psychological issues I underwent, there is no WAY I value sex in the same way as my conservative friend..... even though we both feel the same way about sex, my past SURELY means I prefer sleeping around than being monogamous and in long term relationships.

Honey, stop please.

I think men here who know your posting history would be more cautious about dating you based on your relationship history more so than you fling history. I didnt even need to know about your 5 month casual sex phase to know that we wouldnt make a good match in reality.

People make dating decisions based on a persons past relationships all the time too. Are you lot gonna start saying its ok to lie about your past relationships or how people should not divulge such info?

At the end of the day, sexual and relationship past ALL matter when it comes to dating and current relationships. They shape who we are in the present. And if you cant deal with the fact that some people wont date you because of it, you lot need to grow the hell up.

Like my previous post said, I dont sweat it that certain females will never date me seriously or date me at all. I respect that decision because I desire what they desire...and thats a happy relationship with someone who can accept me in MY TOTALITY, and vice versa.

smh

February 25, 2014

Im very perceptive to character, and I have my ways of finding out the truth. Either way, the deceptive ways of many women is why Im happily single =)
Only when deserved. Do you see me doing that in this thread? All I see are women ashamed of their past trying to lift themselves up by putting down men who prefer different types of women.

I haven't put down men. I have put down the attitude that we must have a puritan attitude toward sex because some how, those people have more morals and integrity.

I haven't put down people. Just attitudes. I pride myself on not having gender bias in my opinions. The same can't be said for you. Like I said... get off the high horse.

February 25, 2014

Whats with all the putting down of men going on in this thread by you, pickflicker, and others?

Men are being called insecure, how crap in bed we are, how we dont deserve a particular woman if we dare take issue with a past we deem undesirable. Come on now. I know you ladies wanna uplift yourselves, but the reality is that not every guy is gonna like you, and lying or putting them down doesnt make you look better.

Get over yourselves.

I know for a fact women like RubySlippers and silvermercy wouldnt date a guy like me based on some of the things Ive done in my sexual past. I havent slept around a ton, but Ive done a few things that may turn off more conservative women. If they arent comfortable with it...cool.

Why cool? Because I TOTALLY get the viewpoint. I want a woman of similar experience the same way they want a man of similar experience. Being able to relate to one another helps people accept their partners past. Its good to be able to fully understand a partners experience.

I want to lie in bed with a woman to fully accepts me, and I fully accept her. And theres no rule saying women of very different dating and sexual experience have to accept me, or vice versa. It is possible, but doesnt always happen. But all I know its just a lot easier and comfortable to be with someone who truly gets me, and that I truly get her.

Well you are right in wanting a person who you can relate to and who you can feel comfortable with.

The thing is, my boyfriend and I understand each other; we both dislike casual or FWB situations and prefer relationships.

Yet we have both had a few flings, if you will. We know what it is like to engage in casual sex, yet we both prefer more meaningful sex within a loving relationship.

Casual sex is not our style; the fact I did it a lot for a VERY tiny period in my adult life DOES NOT mean I view sex in a different way to him, or value it differently.

What I did in the past doesn't mean I feel a certain way about sex NOW, in the present.

The thing that irks me is... it is grossly unfair and judgemental of you to assume higher count women like myself are skanks.

I don't get drunk, I don't go to clubs and take men home or vice versa.... and I am normally in long term relationships. Totally monogamous with no desire for new d*ck.

I conduct myself in a very conservative and respectable manner. What I did for a 5 month period of my ENTIRE adult life thus far, DOES NOT dictate how I carry myself NOW, in the present.

Yet what I did for a few months of my life, due to legit psychological reasons rather than due to my true nature or preference, deems me a "promiscuous girl" and a "skank":sick: in some very ignorant guys eyes.

It is just super ignorant to assume I am promiscuous, when I DO NOT conduct myself that way in my daily life. I do not do casual sex or FWB. The fact I have done it before in my past doesn't mean I enjoyed it and still do it.

You wrongly assume high count girls have lesser values, have no standards and are generally skanks.

It is cool to NOT want a high count girl. Fine! It is NOT fine to call girls like me a skank due to our pasts, when for all you know, we conduct ourselves in a very conservative manner 99% of the time.

February 25, 2014

If and ONLY IF you are serious about the person, the correct response is to always tell the truth. Everything will sort itself out in light of the truth. I defy a anyone to say otherwise in light of a potential long-term relationship.

I refer you all back to one of my previous posts. If you all just did this, you would have no problems. Think carefully through all the possible consequences

February 25, 2014

Seriously I'm genuinely curious. What are your "ways" of finding out the truth. Being perceptive to character is no surefire way to find out if someone is lying or not.

No need to get into all that here and thread jack. At the end of the day I tell this to all women once they start to get close to me;

"Honesty matters greatly to me in a relationship, and I would never lie to a woman about something I know means a lot to her. So I have no patience for someone who cant show me the same courtesy. If you ever feel the need to lie to me about something you know I care a lot about, its best for you to break up with me then and there. Because by now, you know me enough to know that if I find out Ive been lied to or betrayed, there will be no talks or second chances...I will just leave and move on with my life."

I may not say it word for word. But I will be able to get that idea across. And if a woman cant handle that, shes free to leave before anything gets really serious. I want a girl to know that with me, once you break my trust, thats it for you. It wont matter if weve been together a month, a year, or 5 years with kids...I will leave. I cannot be with a dishonest or disloyal woman.

Id be happier single than in a relationship with someone I couldnt trust. Ive been in such relationships, and its too much emotionally during the relationship and after the breakup.

February 25, 2014

No need to get into all that here and thread jack. At the end of the day I tell this to all women once they start to get close to me;

"Honesty matters greatly to me in a relationship, and I would never lie to a woman about something I know means a lot to her. So I have no patience for someone who cant show me the same courtesy. If you ever feel the need to lie to me about something you know I care a lot about, its best for you to break up with me then and there. Because by now, you know me enough to know that if I find out Ive been lied to or betrayed, there will be no talks or second chances...I will just leave and move on with my life."

I may not say it word for word. But I will be able to get that idea across. And if a woman cant handle that, shes free to leave before anything gets really serious. I want a girl to know that with me, once you break my trust, thats it for you. It wont matter if weve been together a month, a year, or 5 years with kids...I will leave. I cannot be with a dishonest or disloyal woman.

Id be happier single than in a relationship with someone I couldnt trust. Ive been in such relationships, and its too much emotionally during the relationship and after the breakup.

You shouldn't need to say this to someone. It should just be implied, with appropriate action taken when it is broken.

By spelling it out, you spell baggage. The need to 'get that idea across', makes you sound patronising and already like you don't trust her.

I wonder if that is why you're 'happily' single...

February 25, 2014

Well you are right in wanting a person who you can relate to and who you can feel comfortable with.
The thing is, my boyfriend and I understand each other; we both dislike casual or FWB situations and prefer relationships.
Yet we have both had a few flings, if you will. We know what it is like to engage in casual sex, yet we both prefer more meaningful sex within a loving relationship.
Casual sex is not our style; the fact I did it a lot for a VERY tiny period in my adult life DOES NOT mean I view sex in a different way to him, or value it differently.
What I did in the past doesn't mean I feel a certain way about sex NOW, in the present.

The thing that irks me is... it is grossly unfair and judgemental of you to assume higher count women like myself are skanks.
I don't get drunk, I don't go to clubs and take men home or vice versa.... and I am normally in long term relationships. Totally monogamous with no desire for new d*ck.

I conduct myself in a very conservative and respectable manner. What I did for a 5 month period of my ENTIRE adult life thus far, DOES NOT dictate how I carry myself NOW, in the present.

Yet what I did for a few months of my life, due to legit psychological reasons rather than due to my true nature or preference, deems me a "promiscuous girl" and a "skank":sick: in some very ignorant guys eyes.

It is just super ignorant to assume I am promiscuous, when I DO NOT conduct myself that way in my daily life. I do not do casual sex or FWB. The fact I have done it before in my past doesn't mean I enjoyed it and still do it.

You wrongly assume high count girls have lesser values, have no standards and are generally skanks.

It is cool to NOT want a high count girl. Fine! It is NOT fine to call girls like me a skank due to our pasts, when for all you know, we conduct ourselves in a very conservative manner 99% of the time.

Again, you may view yourself in a particular way, but it doesnt mean everyone else has to. You need to accept that.

I consider my sexual and relationship history average. Some women may consider it tame, while other may see certain pieces as slutty. It is what it is, and Im not bothered by either perception. I care what I think, not what they think.

Why give a care about people you wont be dating? You always seem to really have to defend your lifestyle. Fvk it and just do your own thing

February 25, 2014

But... you're saying it damaged you and it wasn't who you wanted to become.
You're not wearing your number like a badge of honour, but seem rather ashamed of it?

The context of it is important, if a girl confided in me saying this then I could reasonably believe her attitude towards it and future behaviour would be completely different, and I would overlook her number.

But if a girl said to me "yeah I sleep around, sex is just sex, just an itch to scratch." then I'd head for the hills.

Well for the majority of my adult life, I have either refrained from sex OR had it within a relationship that lasted over 2 years.

This is who I am the vast majority of the time.

That 5 month slutty period does not mean I PREFER to sleep around, or that I even enjoyed my FWB while I had them.

I am not proud of how I coped with a break up (I slept around).

Hence why I got professional help. I had/have problems I am dealing with.

Psychological trauma and stresses were making me do things I didn't approve of. I got help and now I am in a relationship having sex in the usual way I do.....

February 25, 2014

You shouldn't need to say this to someone. It should just be implied, with appropriate action taken when it is broken.

By spelling it out, you spell baggage. The need to 'get that idea across', makes you sound patronising and already like you don't trust her.

I wonder if that is why you're 'happily' single...

Its not implied with many people. Thats the point. So many people dont get this...and so many women think its ok to tell "white lies" and believe its ok to dictate to me what truths matter a lot, and what truths dont. Thats why they need to know all this upfront. Im not patronizing her or telling her I dont trust her...Im warning her of how I am.

If they see it as baggage. They can bail, because there are more women out there, and Im not worried about finding another. The chicks who take issue with it are always replaceable.

February 25, 2014

Its not implied with many people. Thats the point. So many people dont get this...and so many women think its ok to tell "white lies" and believe its ok to dictate to me what truths matter a lot, and what truths dont. Thats why they need to know all this upfront.

If they see it as baggage. They can bail, because there are more women out there, and Im not worried about finding another. The chicks who take issue with it are always replaceable.

I've never had this problem.

Perhaps your picker is broken.

"So many women..." lol, there you go, more women bashing...

February 25, 2014

Again, you may view yourself in a particular way, but it doesnt mean everyone else has to. You need to accept that.

I consider my sexual and relationship history average. Some women may consider it tame, while other may see certain pieces as slutty. It is what it is, and Im not bothered by either perception. I care what I think, not what they think.

Why give a care about people you wont be dating? You always seem to really have to defend your lifestyle. Fvk it and just do your own thing

But how the heck am I am I a skank?

There is nothing about how I act on a daily, weekly or yearly basis that points towards me being a skank or promiscuous?

I work out, go to college, hang out with friends and my boyfriend.

How is the way I commonly live my life skanky?

The fact I tried a lot of FWB situations for 5 months out of 10 years of being an adult doesn't mean I ACT like a skank in general or that I AM a skank.

I am loyal and monogamous and I do not crave new penis all the time.

February 25, 2014

I've never had this problem.

Perhaps your picker is broken.

"So many women..." lol, there you go, more women bashing...

People love to say this, but the reality is that dating is a numbers game and theres a reason 1 in 2 marriages fail. Im cautious and I lay out my boundaries clearly. Some women can handle it, others cant.

It is what it is.

February 25, 2014

But how the heck am I am I a skank?

There is nothing about how I act on a daily, weekly or yearly basis that points towards me being a skank or promiscuous?

I work out, go to college, hang out with friends and my boyfriend.

How is the way I commonly live my life skanky?

The fact I tried a lot of FWB situations for 5 months out of 10 years of being an adult doesn't mean I ACT like a skank in general or that I AM a skank.

I am loyal and monogamous and I do not crave new penis all the time.

M'dear, you don't need to defend yourself.

February 25, 2014

People love to say this, but the reality is that dating is a numbers game and theres a reason 1 in 2 marriages fail. Im cautious and I lay out my boundaries clearly. Some women can handle it, others cant.

It is what it is.

I'd say it's not working. We must always remember that the common denominator in all our ****ty relationships, is us.

You're basically setting the relationship up to fail, before it's even begun. No wonder your luck sucks. Where's the faith?

February 25, 2014

Im very perceptive to character, and I have my ways of finding out the truth. Either way, the deceptive ways of many women is why Im happily single =)
Only when deserved. Do you see me doing that in this thread? All I see are women ashamed of their past trying to lift themselves up by putting down men who prefer different types of women.

Who's ashamed??? I sure as hell am not.

This whole mind-thought is the reason we have threads on here with young women disgusted that they've been used for sex and feel disgusting and played. Because its been ingrained in them that once they've gone beyond a certain number, they are damaged goods. So now they are trying to get reassurance of a committed relationship before they decide to have sex with someone. And they throw it right out there, leaving themselves open to be tricked into the act, and then feeling shame and guilt afterwards for having done the deed and fallen for an empty promise.

I've been in a long, bad marriage and with a lot of unenjoyable, bad sex. Prior to that I was in long term relationships with mediocre or bad sex. I refuse to be in a relationship like that ever again. When I met my guy, on the first date, the emotional connection and attraction was strong, but I needed to know if the physical attraction was just as great. We had sex on the 2nd date. Four times. He was a keeper. We've been together since, and the relationship is absolutely incredible both emotionally and sexually. If the sex had been bad, I probably would've ended it. I know what it takes to have a healthy relationship, and at this point in my life, I'm no longer willing to compromise. For me, and me only, I need to know that ALL ducks are in line before I make a definitive commitment. No shame in my game.

And if you think about it, men created this game of illusion, where they are pressured to make women believe there is a future so they'll have sex with them, but just like me, they want the full package. The difference is many men will still test the sexual waters whether they believe the chemistry is there or not. And young women confuse the act of sex as being commitment. Both sides are shamed in the end.

February 25, 2014

It's just a feeling. Men have always valued "sexual purity" in women. This goes back thousands of years.

You are hypocritical then....because men and women should be held to the same standard. We aren't wafting flowers.

So the double standard is okay? Men can do whatever they want, but women must be almost virginal...maybe that is what you believe but most modern women are not going to be almost virginal and they sure as heck aren't going to want to be with a guy with a grandpa attitude.

February 25, 2014

For the record, I have never lied to my boyfriend.

I told him early on that I had slept with nearly 20 guys.

I also told him of my bad relationship history with a guy who regularly cheated on me with hundreds of women.

I felt he deserved to know it all - sleeping around and allowing my ex to treat met in such a vile manner points towards me having MASSIVE self esteem issues.

My boyfriend also knows I acknowledge my short comings and am seeking professional therapy for it, because I decided I didn't like my relationship history and some of my lifestyle choices, AKA, sleeping around.

A lot of guys would accept me this way; I know of my past mistakes, I listened to people on here who made me wearing that my past relationship wasn't healthy, and I am doing something about it to better myself.

It is also cool that there are guys who WOULDNT be with me based on my past.

It is not cool to call me a skank and a woman of low quality based on my past; the way I live my life NOW and the way I lived MOST of my adult life, doesn't point towards me ALWAYS being skanky and ALWAYS having low self esteem.

I actually live my life in the exact same way as a high quality girl does (at college, dress well, go to the gym, daily, good integrity, never lie and steal, etc, as well as slim and healthy).

February 25, 2014

But how the heck am I am I a skank?

There is nothing about how I act on a daily, weekly or yearly basis that points towards me being a skank or promiscuous?

I work out, go to college, hang out with friends and my boyfriend.

How is the way I commonly live my life skanky?

The fact I tried a lot of FWB situations for 5 months out of 10 years of being an adult doesn't mean I ACT like a skank in general or that I AM a skank.

I am loyal and monogamous and I do not crave new penis all the time.

Its funny how sex is one of those things where people love to erase the past. The fact remains that our pasts make us who we are today. And the fact remains that everyone will have their own perceptions of who we are as a person.

The point is that YOU need to stop caring so much about what others think. I could understand a very young single girl worrying about this. But youre a grown ass woman whos in a happy relationship with a guy she really cares about and who really cares about her.

Why give a damn about outside perception? I sure as hell dont give a damn about outside female perception when Im with a woman I love. I just tell those b!tches that they are jelly (jealous) and enjoy my girl. I spin their judgements and enjoy myself.

If a girl says Im too tame for her...I say 'whatever babe, youre just making excuses for why you arent ready for me '. If a girl think Im a slut I say "Its all good hun, we know under the right circumstances Id have you smiling as I kiss you goodbye in the morning".

Its all about spin and not giving a fvk.

PS - 20 guys....ok...I know girls your age whove been with more partners than their age. *shrug*

February 25, 2014

You are hypocritical then....because men and women should be held to the same standard. We aren't wafting flowers.
So the double standard is okay? Men can do whatever they want, but women must be almost virginal...maybe that is what you believe but most modern women are not going to be almost virginal and they sure as heck aren't going to want to be with a guy with a grandpa attitude.

A-f*cking-men.

February 25, 2014

I'd say it's not working. We must always remember that the common denominator in all our ****ty relationships, is us.

You're basically setting the relationship up to fail, before it's even begun. No wonder your luck sucks. Where's the faith?

****s given: 0

Im not trying to find a relationship or settle down right now. So right now Im happy with my single status. Common denominator me? Good stuff. Im proud of it and happy with all Ive learn so far. Ive made it out of the love battle a lot better than many men I know.

And I set nothing up to fail. I set my expectations and boundaries, I let them be known. And if me and the chick cant meet eye to eye...shes got to go. Simple. No biggie, no problem.

February 25, 2014

Its funny how sex is one of those things where people love to erase the past. The fact remains that our pasts make us who we are today. And the fact remains that everyone will have their own perceptions of who we are as a person.

The point is that YOU need to stop caring so much about what others think. I could understand a very young single girl worrying about this. But youre a grown ass woman whos in a happy relationship with a guy she really cares about and who really cares about her.

Why give a damn about outside perception? I sure as hell dont give a damn about outside female perception when Im with a woman I love. I just tell those b!tches that they are jelly (jealous) and enjoy my girl. I spin their judgements and enjoy myself.

If a girl says Im too tame for her...I say 'whatever babe, youre just making excuses for why you arent ready for me '. If a girl think Im a slut I say "Its all good hun, we know under the right circumstances Id have you smiling as I kiss you goodbye in the morning".

Its all about spin and not giving a fvk.

PS - 20 guys....ok...I know girls your age whove been with more partners than their age. *shrug*

I guess I am somewhat disgusted with what I did after Andrew left me.

In Berlin, I arrived at the hostel. I screwed a guy on night one. Then another night two. Then found a guy I liked and who lived near me back home on night 3 who was very interested in me; he would have ran if he knew about how I had been acting....

I felt disgusted in myself for how I acted. To say I am naturally like this when I never normally act like this is just plain ignorant of some men, is all...

Hence why I see a therapist about it. And also see her in regards to my past relationship history as I didn't feel it was healthy and I needed some guidance. More than here could provide.

Therefore, it offends me when men assume that high count girls like myself are skanks, when really, I feel the same way about sex as the very same people who are judging me.

February 25, 2014

****s given: 0

Im not trying to find a relationship or settle down right now. So right now Im happy with my single status. Common denominator me? Good stuff. Im proud of it and happy with all Ive learn so far. Ive made it out of the love battle a lot better than many men I know.

And I set nothing up to fail. I set my expectations and boundaries, I let them be known. And if me and the chick cant meet eye to eye...shes got to go. Simple. No biggie, no problem.

Hehe, I've gotten under your skin. Love the false bravado!

February 25, 2014

I guess I am somewhat disgusted with what I did after Andrew left me.

In Berlin, I arrived at the hostel. I screwed a guy on night one. Then another night two. Then found a guy I liked and who lived near me back home on night 3 who was very interested in me; he would have ran if he knew about how I had been acting....

I felt disgusted in myself for how I acted. To say I am naturally like this when I never normally act like this is just plain ignorant of some men, is all...

Hence why I see a therapist about it. And also see her in regards to my past relationship history as I didn't feel it was healthy and I needed some guidance. More than here could provide.

Therefore, it offends me when men assume that high count girls like myself are skanks, when really, I feel the same way about sex as the very same people who are judging me.

You gotta realize, that for those with a conservative past, they will say actions speak louder than words. Which is true. While you may share viewpoints with them about sex and relationships, your actions havent always backed up those beliefs.

And the reality is that people will judge you for it and youll have to deal with it. I accept such a reality. I used to be the kid who wanted to find the one, live in a big city and have young love with one or only a few girls in my 20s. I didnt expect my views to change after a bad relationship and heading to university.

Life happens, and I dont get bent out of shape if more conservative gals dislike my change of action in the past.

Hehe, I've gotten under your skin. Love the false bravado!

Meh, if it helps you feel better about yourself to think so, so be it. Im just telling it like it is. And posters who are familiar with me will know I mean what I say. I really dont care one bit about the opinions of women who do not want me.

Sign In

He asked me how many people i've slept with!!

Recommended Posts

oz-missy

mr_dave

kaylan

pickflicker

Leigh 87

reggie500

kaylan

pickflicker

kaylan

Leigh 87

kaylan

pickflicker

Leigh 87

kaylan

pickflicker

pickflicker

Smthn_Like_Olivia

OpheliaSong

Leigh 87

kaylan

pickflicker

kaylan

Leigh 87

pickflicker

kaylan

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...