He asked me how many people i've slept with!!

[Leigh 87]

Have to agree. Most guys I've been with do NOT think this way. They appreciate that I've refined some techniques through trial and error...

 

 

 

Well I know for a fact that I detest casual and FWB, since I have gone out and tried it. I know first hand it is not for me.

 

I also know most men are crap in bed.

 

 

Plus I am not able to derive pleasure from a man who isn't into me for more than the sex. Without the pleasure factor I didn't get anything out of it.

Hence why I am a relationship orientated girl. I much prefer it to sleeping around.

 

Less pure my ass though, seriously... the vagina AND vulva can remain extra tight among women like myself who sleep around.

Plus I dress in very girly clothes and I dress very well and not in promiscuous clothes. I look as pure as some virgin chick, as do my genitals according to all men I have been with.

 

But right, a low number chick who is a complete bitch and who never gives money away to charities is more "pure" than myself, a poor student who gives a lot to charities but has slept around for a measly 5 months of my entire adult life?

 

Seriously. You guys have to get his "purity" crap out of your heads! A virgin can have a nasty looking genital region and not be the pure sort of girl on the inside (she can be a bad person).

[Ruby Slippers]

Why is this a deal breaker?? If she is clean, STD free, an intelligent, attractive, and good person that genuinely cares about you, you would let her sexual number be the deciding factor??

I wouldn't want to be with a guy who'd had a lot of partners. It reveals a different attitude toward sex. I've dabbled lightly in casual sex, and quickly figured out it's not for me. Having sex with someone is a big deal to me. I'm not on the same page with a guy who thinks it's something to be taken lightly.

 

People want to know your number for one sole reason and that reason is SO THEY CAN JUDGE YOU FOR IT.

 

They want to judge you and determine your character, determine your values, determine your morals, determine your worthiness as partner vs your worthiness as a hook up, determine your health/disease status and determine how you treat puppies and orphans based soley on a number.

People judge you for everything, using all kinds of details to screen you as a romantic prospect.

 

I don't get why more liberal ladies here get indignant about the question. What are you ashamed of?

Exactly. If there's nothing wrong with it, why hide it? The only reason to hide it is if you're ashamed of it.

[oz-missy]

You guys have to get his "purity" crap out of your heads!

 

Amen!

 

Purity - the last bastion of the patriarchy (and religion) trying to impose a sense of worthlessness on women who choose to enjoy themselves sexually.

[somedude81]

Purity my ass.

It's just a feeling. Men have always valued "sexual purity" in women. This goes back thousands of years.

 

 

I don't see how my values are different to a woman who has low numbers. Just cos I briefly slept around it doesn't mean I value sex differently to them now....

Are you proud of the period of time that you slept around, or do you regret it?

 

Your answer shows where your values are.

[pickflicker]

How is that related to what I said?

 

I was talking about "wild and crazy" sex, and a reason why a woman who has only been with a very small number of men wouldn't be capable of that.

 

 

I don't see how her being exposed to more variety can lead to her being more confident.

 

Confidence comes from knowing you can do something successfully. The more times you do that thing, the more confident you are.

 

Though maybe that's not how a woman's sexual confidence develops, I don't know.

 

Maybe a woman could possibly be only with one man for her entire life, have sex thousands of times and never develop and sort of confidence?

 

That's because your sexual experience is limited. The more times you have sex, the better you get at it. Just because you are awesome with one person does not mean you will be awesome with the next. You've just got that person's wiring down pat. The next person will be wired differently - and all your mad skills might mean nothing.

[fortyninethousand322]

Amen!

 

Purity - the last bastion of the patriarchy (and religion) trying to impose a sense of worthlessness on women who choose to enjoy themselves sexually.

 

And all this time I thought laissez faire free markets were the last bastion of patriarchy. I guess I've been hanging out at the wrong websites...

[pickflicker]

 

I also know most men are crap in bed.

 

 

 

It's a question of surface area....

[oz-missy]

Men have always valued "sexual purity" in women. This goes back thousands of years.

 

Head, meet brick wall. Brick wall, meet head.

 

Seriously? Just because the patriarchal male dominated society has put a so called value on women's sexual purity for thousands of years it's something we should accept? Hell no.

 

A woman should never have to apologise for the number of men she has slept with. Nor should a man have to apologise for the number of women (or same sex partners) they have slept with.

 

Putting a blanket - oh it's something that's always happened there's nothing that can change is just plain rude and disrespectful on women. Let me put this to you, slavery was the norm for thousands of years (look back to ancient Egypt). Should slavery still be ok today just because it was ok for thousands of years?

[fortyninethousand322]

Head, meet brick wall. Brick wall, meet head.

 

Seriously? Just because the patriarchal male dominated society has put a so called value on women's sexual purity for thousands of years it's something we should accept? Hell no.

 

A woman should never have to apologise for the number of men she has slept with. Nor should a man have to apologise for the number of women (or same sex partners) they have slept with.

 

Putting a blanket - oh it's something that's always happened there's nothing that can change is just plain rude and disrespectful on women. Let me put this to you, slavery was the norm for thousands of years (look back to ancient Egypt). Should slavery still be ok today just because it was ok for thousands of years?

 

A lot of people would say yes. Most people today are in fact de-facto slaves.

 

As far as the topic goes, what's "sexual purity" anyway? I don't care if someone is a virgin or not, but I would prefer to date someone who had only had sex in relationships, nothing casual.

 

Then again, since I'm a pro-free market libertarian I'm pretty much a card carrying member of the patriarchy. So my opinions are pretty much null and void...

[pickflicker]

A lot of people would say yes. Most people today are in fact de-facto slaves.

 

As far as the topic goes, what's "sexual purity" anyway? I don't care if someone is a virgin or not, but I would prefer to date someone who had only had sex in relationships, nothing casual.

 

Then again, since I'm a pro-free market libertarian I'm pretty much a card carrying member of the patriarchy. So my opinions are pretty much null and void...

 

Do you know what though? As the OP has proven, you are most unlikely to get the honest answer because of antiquated notions such as this. The OP lied. Many women would. And the irony is, you're unlikely to know that she's lying. She could be the town bike in college, lie to your face, but you'll take her word for it because you have to, because in order to have a relationship, you have to throw caution to the wind and embrace risk and trust.

 

That's what hilarious about this whole thing. "I will ONLY sleep with someone who has committed sex!" Good luck with that - if you can get the truth out of people, that is. Otherwise, enjoy celibacy...

[somedude81]

That's because your sexual experience is limited. The more times you have sex, the better you get at it. Just because you are awesome with one person does not mean you will be awesome with the next. You've just got that person's wiring down pat. The next person will be wired differently - and all your mad skills might mean nothing.

Then I will put in the time and effort into learning how the next person works.

 

If I have only been with five women, and completely rocked those five women over time as I learned their buttons, does it matter that I haven't been with 10?

 

Kaylan mentioned quality vs quantity. Being with a bunch of women doesn't make me a better lover. I become a better lover by repeatedly having sex with one woman, focusing and adapting to what gets her off.

[pickflicker]

Then I will put in the time and effort into learning how the next person works.

 

If I have only been with five women, and completely rocked those five women over time as I learned their buttons, does it matter that I haven't been with 10?

 

Kaylan mentioned quality vs quantity. Being with a bunch of women doesn't make me a better lover. I become a better lover by repeatedly having sex with one woman, focusing and adapting to what gets her off.

 

I'm all about how I connect with the person on various levels. But I certainly don't discount someone because of extensive sexual experience. In fact, I just want a night with that guy when I meet them, because I'm guaranteed to have a good time... I wish more women would embrace it.

[fortyninethousand322]

Do you know what though? As the OP has proven, you are most unlikely to get the honest answer because of antiquated notions such as this. The OP lied. Many women would. And the irony is, you're unlikely to know that she's lying. She could be the town bike in college, lie to your face, but you'll take her word for it because you have to, because in order to have a relationship, you have to throw caution to the wind and embrace risk and trust.

 

That's what hilarious about this whole thing. "I will ONLY sleep with someone who has committed sex!" Good luck with that - if you can get the truth out of people, that is. Otherwise, enjoy celibacy...

 

Well granted I would never ask and I'd never tell any girl I was dating that I was a virgin. I'm just saying what kind of a woman I'd feel most comfortable dating. I don't exactly have the luxury of being choosy about who I date though, so it's kind of a moot point. In which case, like I said, I don't want to know about history nor do I want to share mine. I think that's pretty fair.

 

As far as enjoying celibacy...that ship has already sailed. I'm on the fast track to starring in the sequel to the 40 Year Old Virgin at this rate...

[Leigh 87]

Women want some sexual experience. But they dont want man whores. Thats my experience at least.

 

I feel the same way about the women I want. I dont want a pure virgin, nor do I want a skanky skank. I want someone whos experience, but has shown self control and has standards.

 

 

 

There you go again, being judgmental...

 

Why is a girl a skank with no standards if she has slept around and has a high number?

 

I have standards and I am not a skank yet I have slept with nearly 20 men.

How the heck do YOU know how I feel about sex NOW, in the present? How do you know how I value sex based on my past actions?

How do you know I value sex differently than my near virgin friends?

How do you know I have routinely slept around with many guys per year?

 

I average ONE guy per year. Bar 5 months of my life where I slept around, which was due to depression. I saw a therapist regularly. Sleeping around is not my style in general. I used it as a coping mechanism which made things worse, so I sought out professional help.

 

I resorted to getting professional help due to my promiscuous ways, since it was way out of character for me and it damaged me. I chose to get help for me, because it isn't who I wanted to become.

 

Shame on you and the men who think I am a skank, when I average 1 guy per year, and act the same way my conservative mates do, bar 5 months of my adult life.

 

It is a little ignorant of you to assume high count girls are fundamentally skanks, without researching HOW they amassed their high number of men?,

How do you know they are out spreading their legs every weekend?

I am sure not doing this^^^^^ and I am a high number gal.....

I do feel comfortable sleeping "around" with many men every year at all.

 

It is disgustingly judgmental of you to assume high count women like myself are skanks with no standards......

[oz-missy]

I'm a pro-free market libertarian

 

If you are a true libertarian, individual liberty would be the cornerstone of your belief.

 

Granted you don't wish to shag someone who has been with multiple men, that's your choice. Also a woman who wishes to sleep with multiple men and be proud of it, well that's her choice too. She should never feel obligated to lie or feel worthless by society because she chooses to enjoy her sexuality.

[pickflicker]

Well granted I would never ask and I'd never tell any girl I was dating that I was a virgin. I'm just saying what kind of a woman I'd feel most comfortable dating. I don't exactly have the luxury of being choosy about who I date though, so it's kind of a moot point. In which case, like I said, I don't want to know about history nor do I want to share mine. I think that's pretty fair.

 

As far as enjoying celibacy...that ship has already sailed. I'm on the fast track to starring in the sequel to the 40 Year Old Virgin at this rate...

 

 

And that's fair enough. But people going on about how they vet their sexual partners by how many people they've slept with and EXPECTING an honest answer...well, I will never stop laughing at that.

[kaylan]

Well I know for a fact that I detest casual and FWB, since I have gone out and tried it. I know first hand it is not for me.

 

I also know most men are crap in bed.

 

 

Plus I am not able to derive pleasure from a man who isn't into me for more than the sex. Without the pleasure factor I didn't get anything out of it.

Hence why I am a relationship orientated girl. I much prefer it to sleeping around.

 

Less pure my ass though, seriously... the vagina AND vulva can remain extra tight among women like myself who sleep around.

Plus I dress in very girly clothes and I dress very well and not in promiscuous clothes. I look as pure as some virgin chick, as do my genitals according to all men I have been with.

 

But right, a low number chick who is a complete bitch and who never gives money away to charities is more "pure" than myself, a poor student who gives a lot to charities but has slept around for a measly 5 months of my entire adult life?

 

Seriously. You guys have to get his "purity" crap out of your heads! A virgin can have a nasty looking genital region and not be the pure sort of girl on the inside (she can be a bad person).

Whats with all the putting down of men going on in this thread by you, pickflicker, and others?

 

Men are being called insecure, how crap in bed we are, how we dont deserve a particular woman if we dare take issue with a past we deem undesirable. Come on now. I know you ladies wanna uplift yourselves, but the reality is that not every guy is gonna like you, and lying or putting them down doesnt make you look better.

 

Get over yourselves.

 

I know for a fact women like RubySlippers and silvermercy wouldnt date a guy like me based on some of the things Ive done in my sexual past. I havent slept around a ton, but Ive done a few things that may turn off more conservative women. If they arent comfortable with it...cool.

 

Why cool? Because I TOTALLY get the viewpoint. I want a woman of similar experience the same way they want a man of similar experience. Being able to relate to one another helps people accept their partners past. Its good to be able to fully understand a partners experience.

 

I want to lie in bed with a woman to fully accepts me, and I fully accept her. And theres no rule saying women of very different dating and sexual experience have to accept me, or vice versa. It is possible, but doesnt always happen. But all I know its just a lot easier and comfortable to be with someone who truly gets me, and that I truly get her.

[mr_dave]

Head, meet brick wall. Brick wall, meet head.

 

Seriously? Just because the patriarchal male dominated society has put a so called value on women's sexual purity for thousands of years it's something we should accept? Hell no.

 

A woman should never have to apologise for the number of men she has slept with. Nor should a man have to apologise for the number of women (or same sex partners) they have slept with.

 

Putting a blanket - oh it's something that's always happened there's nothing that can change is just plain rude and disrespectful on women. Let me put this to you, slavery was the norm for thousands of years (look back to ancient Egypt). Should slavery still be ok today just because it was ok for thousands of years?

 

Who's saying women should apologise for sleeping around?

It's your absolute right to do so. But it is also a guy's right to prefer a less historically promiscuous female for relationships.

[kaylan]

So I'm gathering this guy is wanting to find the "virginal" one. How many people you have slept with is nothing to be ashamed of nor do I believe it's something to hide. As long as you're safe and you've enjoyed yourself why oh why should it be a problem to anyone else?

 

Side note - I find it rich in our society that the number of men women have slept with will label her a potential slut, yet if a man sleeps with many women he's either applauded or given the label player. Men who are after the "virgin" solely from what I have experienced have some sort of superiority complex. Wanting to own the woman from her sexual side to her emotional and practical day to day workings.

 

Find a guy like this and run away. Now.

This is such bs that I see constantly thrown around. Sure other men may applaud a manslut...but I see PLENTY of women cautious about dating such a man, or finding it outright gross that a dude has those kind of sexual standards.

[pickflicker]

Whats with all the putting down of men going on in this thread by you, pickflicker, and others?

 

Men are being called insecure, how crap in bed we are, how we dont deserve a particular woman if we dare take issue with a past we deem undesirable. Come on now. I know you ladies wanna uplift yourselves, but the reality is that not every guy is gonna like you, and lying or putting them down doesnt make you look better.

 

Get over yourselves.

 

I know for a fact women like RubySlippers and silvermercy wouldnt date a guy like me based on some of the things Ive done in my sexual past. I havent slept around a ton, but Ive done a few things that may turn off more conservative women. If they arent comfortable with it...cool.

 

Why cool? Because I TOTALLY get the viewpoint. I want a woman of similar experience the same way they want a man of similar experience. Being able to relate to one another helps people accept their partners past. Its good to be able to fully understand a partners experience.

 

I want to lie in bed with a woman to fully accepts me, and I fully accept her. And theres no rule saying women of very different dating and sexual experience have to accept me, or vice versa. It is possible, but doesnt always happen. But all I know its just a lot easier and comfortable to be with someone who truly gets me, and that I truly get her.

 

You've frequently put women down in your posts. I would get off that high horse, if I were you.

[fortyninethousand322]

If you are a true libertarian, individual liberty would be the cornerstone of your belief.

 

It is. Which is why I would never want promiscuity to be illegal.

 

Granted you don't wish to shag someone who has been with multiple men, that's your choice. Also a woman who wishes to sleep with multiple men and be proud of it, well that's her choice too. She should never feel obligated to lie or feel worthless by society because she chooses to enjoy her sexuality.

 

Well, I mean people make judgments all the time about everything. If you make a choice and a person or people think you're worthless because of it, I mean that's life. You have to rise above that and find self worth. Or not I suppose. I'm sure people judge me on stuff all the time. I think it's fair to do so...

[kaylan]

Do you know what though? As the OP has proven, you are most unlikely to get the honest answer because of antiquated notions such as this. The OP lied. Many women would. And the irony is, you're unlikely to know that she's lying. She could be the town bike in college, lie to your face, but you'll take her word for it because you have to, because in order to have a relationship, you have to throw caution to the wind and embrace risk and trust.

 

That's what hilarious about this whole thing. "I will ONLY sleep with someone who has committed sex!" Good luck with that - if you can get the truth out of people, that is. Otherwise, enjoy celibacy...

I dont have to take her word.

 

But heres my word. Liars will get used as casual fun by me. I dont commit to liars. And then she can have that increased number from sleeping with me and use that as extra reasoning to lie to the next guy...since we know thats how she acts.

 

Guess what? The girl who tells me shes been with 5 guys when its really 10, never gets a shot at being my one and only. But the girl whos never shown me a shred of dishonesty, yet has been with 20 men, and had her share of relationships and flings...well she gets a loyal guy who stays put when hes found a good home for his heart.

 

Liars make poor places to put your heart, but decent places to put your d!k. Believe that.

[Leigh 87]

Why is this a deal breaker?? If she is clean, STD free, an intelligent, attractive, and good person that genuinely cares about you, you would let her sexual number be the deciding factor??

 

If so, then you don't deserve her!

 

 

 

Sooooo. Ignorant.

 

You're so right.

 

I am at college being educated whilst doing an additional diploma course on the side, nice flat and car, very well travelled, expensive clothes, well spoken and generous. I work out and look decent/not off putting.

 

I do not get drunk, only drink wine (get tipsy only, never drunk) and I am a beer enthusiast (drunk one from just about every country).

 

 

But HEY, cos' I have had a high number of sexual partners, about 17 - 20 at age 27, I SURELY must be out at clubs every weekend and spreading my legs for any dude who asks me:lmao:

 

Me and my church going good friend, who tried to avoid sex before marriage, have the same views on sex. Funny that!

 

We both believe that sex is ideal between you and a loving partner.

 

Oh wait, but due to a 5 month promiscuous period due to psychological issues I underwent, there is no WAY I value sex in the same way as my conservative friend..... even though we both feel the same way about sex, my past SURELY means I prefer sleeping around than being monogamous and in long term relationships.

[oz-missy]

I dont have to take her word.

 

But heres my word. Liars will get used as casual fun by me. I dont commit to liars. And then she can have that increased number from sleeping with me and use that as extra reasoning to lie to the next guy...since we know thats how she acts.

 

Guess what? The girl who tells me shes been with 5 guys when its really 10, never gets a shot at being my one and only. But the girl whos never shown me a shred of dishonesty, yet has been with 20 men, and had her share of relationships and flings...well she gets a loyal guy who stays put when hes found a good home for his heart.

 

Liars make poor places to put your heart, but decent places to put your d!k. Believe that.

And pray tell how do you know if that person is lying to you or not?

Do you make your prospective partners undergo a polygraph test? I'm truly curious.

[kaylan]

And pray tell how do you know if that person is lying to you or not?

Do you make your prospective partners undergo a polygraph test? I'm truly curious.

Im very perceptive to character, and I have my ways of finding out the truth. Either way, the deceptive ways of many women is why Im happily single =)

You've frequently put women down in your posts. I would get off that high horse, if I were you.

Only when deserved. Do you see me doing that in this thread? All I see are women ashamed of their past trying to lift themselves up by putting down men who prefer different types of women.