He asked me how many people i've slept with!!

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Do you believe the two are mutually exclusive?

 

I see no reason why a woman can't have wild and crazy sex and have only been with one guy.

 

Experience is what builds those desires. How many wild and crazy sexual virgins have you met???

[pickflicker]

This topic is always so funny. I love how so many men want you to be damn near pure and as close to virgin status as possible, yet act like a porn star in the bedroom.

 

I don't think I've ever been asked my number, and though it's not high, I would be rather put off by the question. Ask me if I'm STD free, what my views are on sex, my goals in life, my accomplishments, ask me about who I am as a person. If your main concern is what my number is, then you can kick rocks. We have nothing further to discuss.

 

I love a bloke who has plenty of sexual experience. The more, the better. They're more likely to persist in bringing you to orgasm, since the know they can...they just have to find the right combination to spring the lock.

 

Nothing wrong with that...

[HokeyReligions]

So I'm dating this girl. Before it gets serious I want to know what I'm dealing with. People tell me not to compromise my principles or what is important to me. Its important to me to know however many people she has slept with. So I asked her. Isn't it better to he upfront? I don't want to get my heart broken or break hers if this is something that may be a deal breaker.

 

---------

that's pretty much how I think about this. What's the big deal unless you are ashamed. Even then you shouldn't have lied. The lie makes it worse.

[pickflicker]

Do you believe the two are mutually exclusive?

 

I see no reason why a woman can't have wild and crazy sex and have only been with one guy.

 

They certainly are. It takes a few goes around the merry-go-round to be confident in bed. 'Wild and crazy' sex with no experience, on the first time - yeah right. I wouldn't believe anyone who told me that.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

So I'm dating this girl. Before it gets serious I want to know what I'm dealing with. People tell me not to compromise my principles or what is important to me. Its important to me to know however many people she has slept with. So I asked her. Isn't it better to he upfront? I don't want to get my heart broken or break hers if this is something that may be a deal breaker.

 

---------

that's pretty much how I think about this. What's the big deal unless you are ashamed. Even then you shouldn't have lied. The lie makes it worse.

 

Why is this a deal breaker?? If she is clean, STD free, an intelligent, attractive, and good person that genuinely cares about you, you would let her sexual number be the deciding factor??

 

If so, then you don't deserve her!

[hotpotato]

Under 16 and been with 30+ is disgusting.

 

I'm sure there are women out there who are 25 and have been with 5 or less guys.

 

From my point of view, I prefer a woman who has not engaged in casual sex.

 

 

And a guy would be a stud?

[mr_dave]

For some people it's something important to consider when investing their heart and emotions in someone else.

Say you have sex with a woman you're dating who's 25, and you're her 87th. What can you read into the sex on her part? Nothing..

Whereas a woman who's the same age who's slept with two guys previously, within relationships? Well she probably has some degree of affection for you at the very least.

 

I'd take a woman for whom sex and love are entwined to marry and have my children any day, over someone who can have sex with any Tom, Dick or Harry. It's just logic that someone less readily sexually attracted to others is less likely to cheat - less temptation. And then she'd have to develop feelings for them first too...

 

I also feel that someone who can turn off their emotions and become a sex automaton (casual sex) would be more of a candidate for affairs later on. Look at the behaviour of the wayward spouses in the infidelity threads, they are rather adept at burying guilt and detaching from their emotions.

 

I don't get why more liberal ladies here get indignant about the question. What are you ashamed of? When dating, you'll judge a guy on his job, status, friends, family, looks. That is your right. So why can't a guy judge you for this, if he feels it's important?

Your past makes you the person you are today, right?

 

And yes I am a low count, non-hypocritical guy.

[somedude81]

Experience is what builds those desires. How many wild and crazy sexual virgins have you met???

Zero.

 

But tell me this, are you saying that a woman who has only been with one or two guys, cannot have wild sex?

They certainly are. It takes a few goes around the merry-go-round to be confident in bed. 'Wild and crazy' sex with no experience, on the first time - yeah right. I wouldn't believe anyone who told me that.

Who said anything about the first time?

 

If a woman lost her virginity to her boyfriend, and they've been sleeping together for a year, she can't be confident in bed and have great sex?

And a guy would be a stud?

No, that's disgusting too.

[HokeyReligions]

Why is this a deal breaker?? If she is clean, STD free, an intelligent, attractive, and good person that genuinely cares about you, you would let her sexual number be the deciding factor??

 

If so, then you don't deserve her!

 

I agree. If her number is a deal breaker for the made-up guy in my story then he certainly does deserve better.

 

Some people have a number. There is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has different dealbreakers and different compromises. Its important to discuss those.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

First of all, if you come to know a woman, and she is the type of woman that you are attracted to then her "number" should not be important. I think if you met a 25 yr old who has had 87 partners, then there should be other very OBVIOUS signs that she has issues.

 

A 25 yr old who has had 7 partners?? WTH is that? If she had sex at 17, that's less than 1 person a year. How many people stay in lasting relationships under 25?? Hell, most people don't even know what they want or what they're looking for under 25. And then you have all these naive girls that fall for a guy, have sex with him, and think they're exclusive, only for the guy to disappear once he's gotten it in. Should they then be considered whores because they fell for the okey doke one too many times? Or let their feelings get the best of them?

 

Some people need to get a grip. Sex is a natural human act. If you want a nun, visit a monastery, but don't expect women everywhere to be saving themselves for your glorious golden penis!

[mr_dave]

Why is this a deal breaker?? If she is clean, STD free, an intelligent, attractive, and good person that genuinely cares about you, you would let her sexual number be the deciding factor??

 

If so, then you don't deserve her!

 

He doesn't deserve her? But aren't you're judging him as inferior for his attitudes to sex?

[somedude81]

And another question.

 

Who would be more confident in bed.

 

A woman who has had 10 one night stands, meaning she's been with 10 guys, but only had sex 10 times in her life, or the woman who lost her virginity to a boyfriend, and has had sex with him hundreds of times?

[mr_dave]

First of all, if you come to know a woman, and she is the type of woman that you are attracted to then her "number" should not be important. I think if you met a 25 yr old who has had 87 partners, then there should be other very OBVIOUS signs that she has issues.

 

What, are you saying 87 partners means she isn't good relationship material?

[BradJacobs]

don't expect women everywhere to be saving themselves for your glorious golden penis!

 

I don't expect they'll save themselves for it but I do expect them to want to take a ride on space mountain.

[fortyninethousand322]

I love a bloke who has plenty of sexual experience. The more, the better. They're more likely to persist in bringing you to orgasm, since the know they can...they just have to find the right combination to spring the lock.

 

Nothing wrong with that...

 

I think most women feel this way.

 

Which is why I don't say anything about my past...

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

He doesn't deserve her? But aren't you're judging him as inferior for his attitudes to sex?

 

Who said anything about inferior?? He's narrow-minded, yes.

[kaylan]

Why is this a deal breaker?? If she is clean, STD free, an intelligent, attractive, and good person that genuinely cares about you, you would let her sexual number be the deciding factor??

 

If so, then you don't deserve her!

Our past makes us who we are today. Dating and sexual history build us into the dating prospect we are for newcomers.

 

Let me repeat how I judge sexual history. I feel Im rather fair:

Lying isnt good, because if he ever finds out or has an inkling that you lied...your relationship will be on the rock. Lies are a terrible starting foundations.

 

And that article is crap. 7 is no biggie at all. Personally I judge based on when someone lost their virginity and the average number of partners per year after that. 1 to 2 partner average doesnt bother me. And this covers periods of low partner counts due to relationships, and periods of flings due to singledom.

 

If someone my age (late 20s), averaged 3 or more partners a years since losing their virginity in their teens, thats just too much for me. So be realistic OP...Id say average number of partners for people in their late 20s is around 13, based on everyone Ive talked about sex with in my life. Though studies and surveys Ive read seem to show slightly higher or lower counts over ones lifetime.

 

Personally I have no problem answering the question once I know a girl decently enough. If I barely know a girl, I sidestep the question and let her now she can find out later. I would never lie. Its better to be honest, or just say youre not comfortable answering

Also, a 26 yr old woman with 13 partners, but lost her virginity at 16 doesnt bother me. But the same girl, same partners, but lost her virginity at 23, is a bit more alarming. Its all about that balance between risky casual sex, vs more monogamous relationship or exclusive dating sex.

 

I totally get that many people will have periods where they go down both roads. But its very alarming if a woman has a history of a lot of risky casual behavior. I like a healthy balance =P

[Imajerk17]

Anyone has a right to screen anyone else on anything. However, I don't think anyone owes anyone else a straight answer to a question like that before actually meeting. If he insists and you don't feel it is his business at this point then don't meet. If someone I hardly knew or just started talking to/dating asked me my income I wouldn't answer that.

Edited February 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

And another question.

 

Who would be more confident in bed.

 

A woman who has had 10 one night stands, meaning she's been with 10 guys, but only had sex 10 times in her life, or the woman who lost her virginity to a boyfriend, and has had sex with him hundreds of times?

 

Why would you be confident in your abilities if you've only had sex with one man? No matter how many times you've had sex?? I had sex with my husband for 10 years and he thought he was god's gift to the vagina. It wasn't until after we divorced and I started dating again that I realized he didn't have a flippin clue!

[kaylan]

I think most women feel this way.

 

Which is why I don't say anything about my past...

Women want some sexual experience. But they dont want man whores. Thats my experience at least.

 

I feel the same way about the women I want. I dont want a pure virgin, nor do I want a skanky skank. I want someone whos experience, but has shown self control and has standards.

[kaylan]

Why would you be confident in your abilities if you've only had sex with one man? No matter how many times you've had sex?? I had sex with my husband for 10 years and he thought he was god's gift to the vagina. It wasn't until after we divorced and I started dating again that I realized he didn't have a flippin clue!

Sex is about quality not quantity. Its about feel.

 

Ive had sex with both promiscuous and conservative girls. Ive had good and bad sexual experiences with both types of women. More than enough promiscuous woman have sub par bed skills.

 

Its really about empathy and feeling. A woman who knows how to read her partner, connect, and cares about his enjoyment, is a woman who makes a great lover. Bad lovers dont read emotions and dont communicate. So Id say both you and your ex sucked. Men and women who dont speak up are one in the same.

Edited February 25, 2014 by kaylan

[fortyninethousand322]

Women want some sexual experience. But they dont want man whores. Thats my experience at least.

 

I feel the same way about the women I want. I dont want a pure virgin, nor do I want a skanky skank. I want someone whos experience, but has shown self control and has standards.

 

Keep in mind I've never even kissed a girl before and I'm almost 26. That's why I'd never reveal my "past" (or lack thereof).

 

I'm with you though, I'd probably work out best with a woman with some experience, but not too much. Though I'll take what I can get I suppose...

[pickflicker]

I love a bloke who has plenty of sexual experience. The more, the better. They're more likely to persist in bringing you to orgasm, since the know they can...they just have to find the right combination to spring the lock.

 

Nothing wrong with that...

 

Further to this, guys who are confident and experienced, will make me feel more confident. Despite my hard-ass attitude, I still get paranoid about my jiggly bits and I still get paraoid about sex with the lights on, and I still worry "Is he enjoying himself?" A confident, experienced guy knows what to say to put a woman at ease, is not afraid to ask for something or advise on technique, whilst being respectful about how to phrase it - it's win-win.

 

This antiquated notion of "they have to have been relatively untouched" is ridiculous. You are missing out! Sex with someone who knows what they are doing - there's nothing like it.

[Guy On The Couch]

Ugh omg. This guy Im talking to just asked me how many guys ive hooked up with. Is it just me or is that rude or what!!?? I didn't know what to do. I told him that he'll never know, in a jokingly cute way. but he didn't find it cute or funny. He said, seriously tell me, i need to know before we go any further. So i did, and i lied. I said 2, even though its really 7. Ah, the perils of white lies.

 

How many is too many??? I think you're 5 over as it stands now. I read an article one time and it said if your number is anything over 5 lie about it, no matter what lol. So what would your answer have been if you slept with 19 people? Do you count oral sex into the equation? :lmao:

 

what do you guys think????

 

10 characters.

 

 

[pickflicker]

And another question.

 

Who would be more confident in bed.

 

A woman who has had 10 one night stands, meaning she's been with 10 guys, but only had sex 10 times in her life, or the woman who lost her virginity to a boyfriend, and has had sex with him hundreds of times?

 

Just because you can have mind-blowing sex with one person, doesn't mean you're able to have it with someone else. We're all wored differently.

 

The girl with 10 one night stands is exposed to more variety. She's likely to be more confident than anything else. Good in bed - I don't know. Confident, a very good chance.