i am gutted Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Married 19 years ago today. things have been stressed here again for a while.......I have tried to do what has been advised on forgiveness, etc and work to a better me.....but its hard work and there are days that I am just really crappy. we never really have done anything special for our anniversaries, so this year is no different. I bought him a box of chocolates! ha. I just couldn't think of anything else. we are going out for tea to his parents place tonight .
snappytomcat Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 happy anniversary mines actually tomorrow,20 years for us,and then his bday on the 26th,and mine on the 27th,so its going to be odd,these will be the first since dday,I know hes planned something,but its a surprise,i hope I can get through them,especially without being harassed by the OW. have a great day,and I hope everyday that passes gets better for you 4
Author i am gutted Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 hi tomcat.....wow you do have a busy week! happy birthday and anniversary to you too............do you find it weird tho that you think of it differently now after what has happened and turned everything upside down? usually its just another day but for me its tainted with all the crap that's gone on last year.... 1
Grumpybutfun Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Are you saying you two have always treated your wedding anniversary as just another day? The day when you chose to be loyal, faithful, respectful and committed was just treated as another day? Inquisitively, Grumps
Author i am gutted Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 hi. yes that sounds bad but what I was meaning is that we have never gone all out and spent heaps of money on luxurious gifts or anything like that. Yes we acknowledge the day but not in the same way as some do. I sort of put that wrong........
experiencethedevine Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Congratulations on your anniversary. It might help to see this as one of your hurdles of 'firsts'. By overwriting all the previous important occasions, when each one arises after dday, you turn those negatives into positives in the way only you and your husband know how to create a new memory to overcome it. Even if it's as simple as an honestly expressed loving moment you share. Next year you will remember the positive rather than the negative history hopefully. I hope you both have a day that means brings you something positive out of the ashes, and I wish you an even better anniversary for next year too. 2
Author i am gutted Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Congratulations on your anniversary. It might help to see this as one of your hurdles of 'firsts'. By overwriting all the previous important occasions, when each one arises after dday, you turn those negatives into positives in the way only you and your husband know how to create a new memory to overcome it. Even if it's as simple as an honestly expressed loving moment you share. Next year you will remember the positive rather than the negative history hopefully. I hope you both have a day that means brings you something positive out of the ashes, and I wish you an even better anniversary for next year too. am looking forward to the end of the year once we have passed all of the "first time since" scenarios. thanks, bring on the positives.... 1
gettingstronger Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 As I wrote in another thread it really has helped me to believe in redemption and not just in a human sense. We are built on redemption. It's in religion, it's in our laws and medicine. That being said, the firsts and anything that marked time was and is extremely difficult. Hold on, stay strong and take care of you. 1
compulsivedancer Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 The whole week of our anniversary was brutal. Do what you can to reclaim it, but if it hurts, don't be afraid to talk about it. That said, set aside the evening or whenever you celebrate and banish the affair from your evening. Sometimes it's just necessary.
yellowmaverick Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I hope that today is the beginning of a great year for you and your H.
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