Lady2163 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Again, I say the hearing from his daily is just the bare minimum he has to do to get what he wants. What are you going to do if he misses a couple of days? You may fuss about it and there may be a fight, but I bet sex still happens. That's my prediction....he starts pushing limits to see what you will put up with.
Sub Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 If you're treating him like a "void filler, nothing more", it probably makes it easier for him to be hot and cold with you after a period of time. Honestly, why not? If that's what I was, I don't know that I'd go out of my way to pep myself up for someone with whom there's not much of a future.
chelsea2011 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 If you're treating him like a "void filler, nothing more", it probably makes it easier for him to be hot and cold with you after a period of time. Honestly, why not? If that's what I was, I don't know that I'd go out of my way to pep myself up for someone with whom there's not much of a future. I would say wat Sub just posted is a strong possibility especially if he's single. I wouldn't want to expend any emotional energy on someone who views me as a "void filler." That's an awful position to be in for any human being because it lacks any sort of feeling. Heck, I would be moody too if I was involved in a situation like that. As humans we have feelings - it's a natural part of our make-up. Anyway, it could be the above or maybe he's found someone else.
Snipercatt Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 This was my thought as to why he is now bring up the W and making her seem amazing. To provoke you to compete to be just as amazing. Same strategy he uses when telling you he broke up with the last AP for asking too many questions. He is provoking you to quit asking questions. I have been told by him his last A was amazing in that area An attempt to provoke you to be amazing in that area, also. Plus if it was all about sex why talk to me daily? Why not just talk to me to set up a "hook up"? It's part of his schtick!
chelsea2011 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 I'm sorry. I was thinking of another thread about a single AP and posted here by accident. Ignore my post.
jwi71 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 If you read my original post you will read that we have been seeing each other for over a year and the hot cold thing just recently started. But I still hear from him daily and if he was not "in to me" as another poster suggested than he would not make the effort of daily communication. He is consistent in his actions to show me he is thinking of me and he is considerate when I ask for space/time when my life gets hectic. When I ask for space I get it. Our situation works VERY well. Yes he is moody but who isn't when living a hidden life and YES that is what most (I say most as I will not assume all) MM, MW and OW/OM do, we live with a part of our lives hidden. Hot and cold is NOT consistent. It is, by definition, the OPPOSITE. Unless you mean he is consistently "hot and cold"...which just plain sucks. Why put up with that? Rhetorical question - I simply never would and have an expectation others wouldn't either. My MM has NEVER future fakes with me, NEVER not once and he knows that I HAVE no interest in being with him forever. He is a void filler for me nothing more. I NEVER stated I loved him in my posts so those that are getting that information again are assuming. Then you are, again almost by definition, and to use YOUR words, "a hole to fill". Nothing wrong with that. You have needs and he has the appropriate...body part. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with NSA sex at all. I think the only person sensitive to this fact is YOU. (something to think about) I simply came here to try to get understanding as to why some think he is now after a year acting a cold and bring up the W. You are being groomed in a most sinister way. He is, slowly, devaluing you. And its working. I'll bring up my W...to show you how expendable you are (I have someone to go back to) I'll bring up my previous A's (and why I ended them) to keep you compliant and away from subjects I do not wish to broach. I'll run hot and cold to FRIGHTEN you into the box I wish to keep you. (because I can return to my W - or dump you like the others). Its crazy making. It is, simply, emotional abuse. You are being abused. This is NO way to treat anyone. I think you can find a closer, more respectful, nicer and non-abusive lover. These are NOT the actions of a man you want in your life. Tel him to eff off. 1
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