herself Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Mine was over due to impact of guilt. I often wonder if AP misses her after, even after deciding to do the right thing I guess, is the love still there. I can move on & have been, but the saddest thing is the appearance of coldness, men always seem to appear as if they were able to flip a switch & go cold. It would make me feel better to be missed. 1
spoonman Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Not all men. Believe me. I wish I was missed. I'm sure you are. Some guys, and girls, are able to move on rather easily and not dwell. I'm sure a few of us envy that ability. I have not felt guilty at all. Maybe I'm a d-bag. I also know my marriage is about over so.............. 1
littlemermaid Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I would like to hear from some MM or MOM on this, too. Mine seems to be over as well due to his guilt. He is too afraid to lose his family, and it hurts his image of himself to see himself that way. He said he can't be around me without feeling an overwhelming physical attraction that leads to bad decisions, and I don't want him to hate me for that, so...I have been staying away from him, even though neither of us specifically said "It's over," or that we wanted a full NC. I know I could go see him tomorrow and it's very likely something would happen between us, but...I don't want him to hate himself and hate me for tempting him...which he says I do just by my very presence. I would love to know if he still thinks about me, if he misses me, if he wishes we could have more but the guilt stops him...
Author herself Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Not all men. Believe me. I wish I was missed. I'm sure you are. Some guys, and girls, are able to move on rather easily and not dwell. I'm sure a few of us envy that ability. I have not felt guilty at all. Maybe I'm a d-bag. I also know my marriage is about over so.............. I am sure your missed to. It may be a situation where the risks outweigh the rewards, but the trouble is....why leave the one you loved in the dark about that. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we can end an A by letting the ap know the time had value & meaning and your not ending it because the love is gone but because the risks outweigh the rewards and that you will miss the time together and the bond but that your spouse came first, and thats what your choosing. I know it's TOO much to adk BUT would make it so much easier than tje abandoned AP living with the constant question of "what happened" and feeling abandoned and confused. 1
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