Ansem Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Feeling absolutely like **** today, I finally decided to accept my ex's friend request on FB and I gotta say, it was a really bad decision. I guess I wanted to find out if I was over her or at a stage far along enough to be friends with her but that's just not the case here. I found myself going through all her pictures and comments and it's quite amazing to see how much a person can change. From the looks of it and based on her comments, breaking up with me was the best decision of her life and she's had no regrets. This is so heartbreaking and puts me back to square one because I can't help but remember all of the times we shared together. All of that is gone now but I suppose I should be happy for her. Worst part of it are the breadcrumbs left in the wake; restricted calls, texts, you name it - anything to keep on you a leash or from feeling guilty while you, who at one point was considered a significant other, lives in despair and misery. Anyway this is all in the past and it is time to move on for good. For those new around here, its been about 8 or 9 months and the last couple months I felt that I was progressing and almost ready to be completely over her. Fight those urges to stay in contact or keep tabs on her, even when you feel its time I would stay wary and ask yourself if it's worth the potential pain. I want to message her and let her know I made a mistake by adding her and then remove her but what do you guys think? Should I message and remove or simply block and forget about it? At this point she already knows I accepted her because she liked a photo. Thanks for any advice.
Chi townD Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Block her and forget it. You stated that she looks well and doesn't regret breaking up with you. So, my question is, what have YOU done to make positive changes in YOUR life that she could have seen on Facebook? Start or continue to make positive changes dude. 1
somecamel Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I want to message her and let her know I made a mistake by adding her and then remove her but what do you guys think? Should I message and remove or simply block and forget about it? At this point she already knows I accepted her because she liked a photo. Thanks for any advice. I think you know what you need to do and it doesn't involve sending her a message to tell you're removing her. 1
KevinC Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I agree with Chi and Camel, block her and you do not need to justify yourself. Also you are not back to square one, you just had a setback maybe some nostalgia. Dont beat yourself up, we have all been there at some time or another, heck i had one yesterday. You said you made some progress and i think you have but now you know you are not ready for contact with her...so dont, shift the focus back to yourself and continue on the road of healing and the betterment of yourself.
somecamel Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 It's a two steps forward one step back game. You'll get there in the end:)
forgetmenot75 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Just block her forever. Don't say a word. she'll be surprised, but who cares. 1
ithappenedagain Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Sorry man. I feel your pain. I guess I am not too familiar with your BU. Did you delete her from Facebook once you guys broke up, or did she delete you? Why is it that our exes want to maintain a social media friendship AFTER they chose to break up with us? - For me, I deleted my ex from facebook the night she told me she no longer wanted to be with me.. I highly doubt she will be requesting me anytime soon.
Hoosfoos Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Im in a similar situation. Facebook is the devil.
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I actually waited a week to delete her from fb. I figured I would give her some time to contact me if she wanted but after a week, I gave up and gave her the boot. Doubt I will hear from her again...
milwinlol Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 This is completely normal, there'll always be that little voice in the back of your head that asks 'What could have been...' You may not necessarily want that person back but you want to see how they're getting on...without you, i guess. It will always hurt, but only because of the fond memories you have with that person however long you were with them for, may it be weeks, months or years. I wouldn't worry about it, everyone does it, and you'll always have that urge of curiosity in you just to have a peek at their social network profile, but i'm sure you look at other people's too...? If this bothers you so much, or it's becoming daily or additive, maybe consider deleting or blocking her. Hope this helped in someway?
Author Ansem Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks for the replies. The biggest mistake was definitely accepting the request while being unsure of my feelings but at least I got that out of the way. For those that were wondering, she removed and blocked me when she broke it off a long time ago and then requested me about a week ago.
Sandy99 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 You don't necessarily need to block her. Just unfriend her and say nothing. She sounds like she's really trying to rub your nose in her new life, or her extended post-break up honeymoon period. Whatever it is, I'd either unfriend her or start creating your own photo collage of happiness on your Facebook page so she can see you're just fine without her.
David87 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 You don't necessarily need to block her. Just unfriend her and say nothing. She sounds like she's really trying to rub your nose in her new life, or her extended post-break up honeymoon period. Whatever it is, I'd either unfriend her or start creating your own photo collage of happiness on your Facebook page so she can see you're just fine without her. He needs to block her and move on.
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