frigginlost Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Seriously, this NC stuff is brutally hard. Got a email from the ex apologizing for hurting me, lying to me, etc. It really hit me hard. I simply sent a "Don't worry about, thanks for the email, and take care reply". She then sent a reply stating that she thinks about me all the time and that there is whole in her life consuming her regarding me. I sent back a note telling her I felt the same way, but to just keep smiling. Folks, I don't know how to feel. I have not heard anything back and she still has me blocked on facebook, but that's a pretty major breadcrumb she put out there. I don't know what to do. A piece of me wants to get back with her and a piece doesn't. Thought?
Caliguy30 Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 That is a major breadcrumb, but it still doesn't say she will move mountains to be with you. She's basically saying she misses you. If you put yourself out there again, is anything really going to change? If she lies and what not, can you really trust her. Believe me, I wish sometimes I got something like that and actually did at the beginning and it meant nothing. Yea she misses me, but nothing's going to change and it sucks to think it's over, but it is what it is at this point. 2
TylerDurdenn Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 She misses you, she doesn't want to be with you. Trust me, I learnt the hard way.. Please see my old threads. 1
picnicinthepark Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I broke NC last night. I am a dumpee, LTR 5 years, BU 3+ weeks ago, and NC 2 weeks. Stupid... I texted her and have been obsessively over analyzing every word in our conversation. We've exchanged a few nice words but she stopped responding. I'm still hanging on to hope and I just don't want to hurt anymore. I was doing so well. I suppose I've learned my lesson.
organizedchaos Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Seriously, this NC stuff is brutally hard. Got a email from the ex apologizing for hurting me, lying to me, etc. It really hit me hard. I simply sent a "Don't worry about, thanks for the email, and take care reply". She then sent a reply stating that she thinks about me all the time and that there is whole in her life consuming her regarding me. I sent back a note telling her I felt the same way, but to just keep smiling. Folks, I don't know how to feel. I have not heard anything back and she still has me blocked on facebook, but that's a pretty major breadcrumb she put out there. I don't know what to do. A piece of me wants to get back with her and a piece doesn't. Thought? You haven't heard back because you just forgave her and relieved her guilt by saying "don't worry about it" Why would you say that to someone who dumped you??? Now she can freely move on. 2
pickflicker Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 You haven't heard back because you just forgave her and relieved her guilt by saying "don't worry about it" Why would you say that to someone who dumped you??? Now she can freely move on. This. OP, it's unlikely you'll hear from her again. This is why silence is best. Silence can be interpreted any way they want. Silence stops you from saying anything you might regret. 2
Author frigginlost Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 Ugh.... It's like a tidal wave of emotions. Figured since NC was broke I could put tie up loose ends. I found some possessions of her this morning and shot her a text to get me her address and I'd get them to her. She replied that she would swing by or I could send them or whatnot. Made a little small talk, but I feel the "comfort" in the way we talk just has nothing behind it. The ex is extremely of the self isolation type and has very low self esteem. She is very, very hard to read. Darnit... why is NC so damn hard...
pickflicker Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Just get the stuff to her and go back to NC.
BodyBuilder101 Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Do you want to get back with her? If so why don't you not text and say to her "hi if you want to vent some feelings or speak to me or whatever your welcome to come and see me" then judge the situation in person. You may or may not have that spark again but texting is not the way forward IMO.
Author frigginlost Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Do you want to get back with her? If so why don't you not text and say to her "hi if you want to vent some feelings or speak to me or whatever your welcome to come and see me" then judge the situation in person. You may or may not have that spark again but texting is not the way forward IMO. You my friend are one very bright individual. We have been texting back and forth today and to put it bluntly, I have zero read on her, outside of us somewhat both knowing we are done. She seems truly happy that I am doing fine and am doing my best to move forward. She has just been working on herself in therapy and says she has no thoughts of moving on right now. Probably blowing smoke. She did drop the Facebook block and as me as a friend and her status still shows as in a relationship (mine does not). I'm just gonna kill her feed, and go back to NC for a bit. I honestly get the feeling that we are slowly putting an end to things, but she is further along. Neither of us are cut throat types, so I think we are trying to do this amicably. Not gonna put my life on hold and neither is she. If we were meant to be be, we will be, but if not, I think she is positioning for a friendship. Sadly, I can't go that route.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Do you want to get back with her? If so why don't you not text and say to her "hi if you want to vent some feelings or speak to me or whatever your welcome to come and see me" then judge the situation in person. You may or may not have that spark again but texting is not the way forward IMO. NO!!! That is an AWFUL idea. I do agree with your texting part....but all a personal meeting will do is make him the emotional tampon so she can still feel that connection, but nothing else. She is obviously throwing breadcrumbs because she feels guilty. Once its gone, so is the OP. OP, I advise HEAVILY to let it go. It's a breadcrumb, nothing else. If she wanted to be with you, she would.
Author frigginlost Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 (edited) NO!!! That is an AWFUL idea. I do agree with your texting part....but all a personal meeting will do is make him the emotional tampon so she can still feel that connection, but nothing else. She is obviously throwing breadcrumbs because she feels guilty. Once its gone, so is the OP. OP, I advise HEAVILY to let it go. It's a breadcrumb, nothing else. If she wanted to be with you, she would. I hear ya. And in fact, in the last few texts we just had she went totally cold. In fact she asked about my feelings. Told her I'm not gonna lie and said I still love her. I then caught myself and said sorry about that, I think you're a little further along in the moving on. She said don't apologize and she can't even think of moving on. Seriously folks.... she's very good at manipulation it would seem. And I'm just a big damn sucker. That saying is correct: If they want you back they will tell you. Anything else is BS. Back to full blown NC. Edited February 9, 2014 by frigginlost 1
organizedchaos Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Do you want to get back with her? If so why don't you not text and say to her "hi if you want to vent some feelings or speak to me or whatever your welcome to come and see me" then judge the situation in person. You may or may not have that spark again but texting is not the way forward IMO. Worst idea ever. 1
Author frigginlost Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Why in the heck do we do this to ourselves?!? Yup, I busted it again. It was the ex's birthday yesterday and I just could not stop myself... Sent a quick happy birthday text and to enjoy it. She snapped a response, literally 30 seconds later saying Thanks! and letting me know what she was up to at work and telling me the year will only get better from that point. And now, all the emotions start to stir again in me. Arrrghhhh... We had been in contact last week, but I really felt as if she was sliding me into the friend zone, so I went NC (again). Lasted a whopping 4 days. Woohoo. I feel like crap.
barky2 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Just hold onto the feeling of emptiness you have now, so next time you want to break it , you'll remember how you feel right now. Temporary satisfaction, long term pain. We've all been there and broke nc. But one day you'll be sick of hurting yourself and realise it does no good. That's when you really do nc. Barky
herself Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Im so sorry, I feel bad & know it hurts. Prove her right & forget her & make yiyr year AWESOM . By dating, taking a summer trip, deleting your fb account. Get out of your funk. The hope has kept you stuck. She is so smug acting happy, ugh. Your gonna be awesome without her you will see! No more breaking, and block her! So she cant come back for ego boost once she sees your really not reaching out!
Author frigginlost Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Just hold onto the feeling of emptiness you have now, so next time you want to break it , you'll remember how you feel right now. Temporary satisfaction, long term pain. We've all been there and broke nc. But one day you'll be sick of hurting yourself and realise it does no good. That's when you really do nc. Barky Dude, thanks. You are one of the guys who knows this sh*t. FWIW, the ex and I were planning to get together next week for lunch (I asked and she responded immediately, yes). But after today's setback, I realize that I am simply not ready to see her. I'm still in love, and she is doing nothing but pulling puppet strings. Sooo... I shot her an email and let her know that lunch is off as I have to work. She responded with a sad face and asked why I'm at work today (was supposed to have the day off). I deleted her reply. Hello NC. I missed you... Still feel like crap. 2
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