Author lvroflife Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Its been 3 weeks since BU. I am the dumpee... Its been 1 week NC... she sent breadcrumbs. I never reached out.. I had been strong... Last night I sorta broke after fighting. I kept getting these urges (I know its all in my head) that my ex has been wanting me to contact her, but I kept fighting them... Then last night (judge if you want) I went on her FB page (with her screen name and password). We have each others passwords (stalker stuff I know). IM SORRY GUYS I BROKE. What I saw was that she had searched for my page three times this week. and all our pictures are still on her page. Also saw all her comments and likes, which were on all her friend Valentines gifts, and several of them getting engaged... I was extremely tempted to reach out, but I didn't. I then checked her instagramv(IG) (again with her codes) and she stopped following me but still has all our pics up. I do understand that the pics being up may or MAY NOT mean anything. But I know her and she is quick to delete those things and people. My gut not heart keeps telling me to send her a funny text. But my head is saying "she wanted you out, if she wanted you back in she would call you". I'm so torn and just miss her so much... And yes I do want to be back with her I apologize for being weak!!
David87 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Don't apologise, it happens, but going on her fb page is a little low on your part. Never do that again. Remember emotional pain only last 12 minutes the rest is self inflicted. Don't break NC again, let her reach out and don't send no smile face either.
Author lvroflife Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Yea it was very low and I felt awful doing it. And I had been strong standing to my NC. I just am trying not to follow these strong urges I have been having for a few days now. I will all own her to reach as I know it is the right thing to do..
johnson_j Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Hang in there man, we've all been there. Just focus on yourself and if she comes back even better. Don't get your hopes up, but every one of my breakups the lady has returned between 3-12 weeks later. But in each of them I was healed and able to rationally think about the situation and take-it-or-leave it mentality - and I think they all knew it, too. I'm not a big fan of NC but cyberstalking is a huge no-no and won't help you out at all.
Author lvroflife Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 @Johnson_J. Yea I know it is. And I was holding strong til last night! I screwed up. Because I'm now sort of back at square 1. I hope she comes back, she has before but this time its different. Not sure if you read my original story about my situation. I'm working on me but it is hard, man!
johnson_j Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Yes man I read your original post, I had a similar situation recently and the same breadcrumbs, etc. Just hang in there it will get better. You say this time is different but I bet it's not. She's trying to reconcile her thoughts and I would bet dollars to donuts she comes back at some point, but you're not doing yourself any favors by increasing your hurt by the cyberstalking, etc. At this point, it's not about HER, it's about YOU. 2
Author lvroflife Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 (edited) You're right brother!!! I was doing well. And had this one slip up!! Lesson learned I will stay strong and not fold. Thank you for that!! Edited March 3, 2014 by lvroflife
Author lvroflife Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 So I was NC for 2 weeks, BU was one monthago ...she initiated the lst contact! Last night I broke no contact and text her: (I know you guys will chew me out, but...) "I miss you...and I wrote you a letter and emailed it hope you read take care" she read the email and text me back "I miss u too..I read your email...I don't know what to say, I am still thinking, but I do miss you a lot" Then this morning I asked to to work it out (my first ever/only attempt at the begging) She responded "I do not know right now this was unexpected and your letter was so real and true." I have not and will not respond.. I may sound naive and that is fine when you guys chew me out, but I feel I now have closure, and feel I can finally let go.. I feel the ups and downs because I got my "fix" but at the same time I can say it is "over"
Chi townD Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Dude, you aren't the first person to break NC and you won't be the last. But, chances are that you probably feel like you're back at square one, especially after you saw her hemming and hawing over your texts with no real answers. Chalk it up to lessons learned! 1
David87 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Well whats done it's done. No need to be to hard on yourself, things like this happen from time to time. But let this be a lesson to you and NEVER BREAK NC again. Post here first letters, texts, emails etc. 1
somecamel Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 So I was NC for 2 weeks, BU was one monthago ...she initiated the lst contact! Last night I broke no contact and text her: (I know you guys will chew me out, but...) "I miss you...and I wrote you a letter and emailed it hope you read take care" she read the email and text me back "I miss u too..I read your email...I don't know what to say, I am still thinking, but I do miss you a lot" Then this morning I asked to to work it out (my first ever/only attempt at the begging) She responded "I do not know right now this was unexpected and your letter was so real and true." I have not and will not respond.. I may sound naive and that is fine when you guys chew me out, but I feel I now have closure, and feel I can finally let go.. I feel the ups and downs because I got my "fix" but at the same time I can say it is "over" To be fair you seem to have done a lot better than what I did, good on you for not responding anymore, all you'll do is pull yourself right back in again.
Author lvroflife Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 Trust me my lesson has been learned... And I am pushing the little false hope I have/had of her saying "IDK right now...." I chalk that up as a no... so I got closure.. Thank you for being understanding fellas!! 1
4everalones Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Sometimes breaking NC is good. It helps you see that it's actually over and you can then let go of all false hope. I broke NC (against all the advice given to me here): I texted, called, and even met my ex for coffee. He was polite but he was cold and distant as well, and he "wasn't sure of what he wanted". I told him that I missed him, and all I got was awkward silence. Right after that, all urges and dreams were crushed. I was devastated, but I became a lot more accepting of the breakup and I started my journey to heal. Ex's like to give the dumpees the "I am not sure/I don't know now/I am not ready yet" line to keep you as a plan B in case they have regrets or things don't workout with someone else. Let that be a lesson for you. Good luck on starting NC all over again. It will be a lot easier this time!
KevinC Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Life you and i are almost in the same situation as i am sure you know, we have posted in each others threads a coupe times. My BU was 1 month ago and 2 weeks nc as well. A few days ago i started a thread because i wanted to break NC and have a talk with my ex. You guys talked me out of it and i believe you even posted in it if im not mistaken. Anyway point is i still feel like doing it sometimes...like today. I still have this unhealthy need for closure, or for her to kill the little hope i still cling to. I think you are very brave for what you did and its got me thinking that i might want to do it too despite advice to the contrary. So i ask, was it worth it ? Do you feel like you are back at square one ? Since you have experienced it do you recommend i try or would you stay NC if you could go back in time ? Any regrets ?
Author lvroflife Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 @KevinC It was worth it onlu because I got (some form of) closure.. As I said she did say she "missed me too" And she didn't need to respond after we both said "take care".. But then she sent "I don't know what say or think" (Gave me false hope) Then she didn't have to tell me this morning "IDK right now this is unexpected..."(more false hope), But I spoke with 2 Female friends who said she could have been trying to let me down easy or she could really be confused and thinking, either way keep moving on... To answer your questions: Yes it was worth it because I got my closure and now I do not have questions... Yes I am definitely back at square 1, I had to leave work because I broke down... I tell you this, do what is best for you to heal... As far as regrets, I am not sure...I think "darn I should of stayed away" because I was S-L-O-W-L-Y healing and this reopend the wound...but no regrest because she stressed a few times she missed me and it felt good to hear but after the "fix" wore off you go back to square 1, but most importantly it was what I needed to fully begin to let go!!
KevinC Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Alright fair enough thanks for answering my questions and wish you the best on the road back to healing yourself.
somecamel Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Alright fair enough thanks for answering my questions and wish you the best on the road back to healing yourself. Kevin, Don't do it mate
Author lvroflife Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 yEA KEVIN DO NOT DO IT!! I read your post that she was back on the same dating site you met her!! Let that be closure enough!!
Author lvroflife Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 It is tough!! Use me as an example I am feeling HORRIBLE right now!! I have ben in tears and looking at my phone to see if she will reach out or send an email!! That little false hope set me back!! Stay strong
KevinC Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I will try, thanks friend i feel for you right now be strong
chir Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Hi Ivroflife, was reading through your thread and was in a way relief to know i am not the werido feeling these ways. Some days I am confident and well, some days I just want to hide and cry.. Some days I want him back some days I don't. The difference is i am the one who dumps him. .that's is until I regretted it 5min later and he dump me right back. I know i may get busted here.. maybe tats what I need. I don't love him even though I like him a great deal. I knoe deep down we are not suitable. I know is only 3 mths relationship .. but i miss him sooo much.. i keep hoping things will change..He will want me back so that I will love him back( I don't dare to because he is not sure of our future) is been almost 2 wks. . I broke contact 3 days ago by telling him that he might think I can let go easily but I am not. And I'm hurting ..ask him not to reply me.and of coz he didn't. I wonder why am I so hurt.. y is it so painful. . Anyway I'm sorry for talkin abt me.. I just want tell u ... is ok. .is painfully painful it feels like gosh I didn't even know how to describe but pray n endure patiently. U can't but He can. I cnt feel Him but I know He is here.
Author lvroflife Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 I pray everyday. I ask for strength and protection. I know its not me but her. I just don't UNDERSTAND. I treated her right, with support the whole bit, and never once did she come talk to me.
Author lvroflife Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 My ex just called me and left a Voicemail saying she wants to talk...
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