emeraldgreen Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 A LDR girl broke up with me a week and a half ago, and I must admit that in my hurt, I did something underhanded... Well, I let it go ahead. A female friend offered to flirt with the girl's new LDR guy on facebook (her previous ex she got back with) to see if he was on the level, and I said "sure". I didn't hear back from my friend after that and concluded the guy must be alright, so I gave my ex my blessing and wished her well. We had a good closure conversation and both felt better. I forgave her. Well, my friend has just sent me screen shots of her chatting with my ex's new/old man, and the conversation includes flirting, him soliciting photos, and telling my friend that he's not involved with anyone on a serious level. Passing this on to my ex is like throwing a grenade and hoping I don't get blown up also. We are friends now and I don't want to hurt her, but don't want her to get hurt either. The options as I see them: 1. Leave them to it and let it fall apart with no involvement 2. Pass the info on to my ex anonymously or through a third party 3. Tell my ex directly and risk being the one to hurt her. What say you?
Musing Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 A LDR girl broke up with me a week and a half ago, and I must admit that in my hurt, I did something underhanded... Well, I let it go ahead. A female friend offered to flirt with the girl's new LDR guy on facebook (her previous ex she got back with) to see if he was on the level, and I said "sure". I didn't hear back from my friend after that and concluded the guy must be alright, so I gave my ex my blessing and wished her well. We had a good closure conversation and both felt better. I forgave her. Well, my friend has just sent me screen shots of her chatting with my ex's new/old man, and the conversation includes flirting, him soliciting photos, and telling my friend that he's not involved with anyone on a serious level. Passing this on to my ex is like throwing a grenade and hoping I don't get blown up also. We are friends now and I don't want to hurt her, but don't want her to get hurt either. The options as I see them: 1. Leave them to it and let it fall apart with no involvement 2. Pass the info on to my ex anonymously or through a third party 3. Tell my ex directly and risk being the one to hurt her. What say you? First I'll suggest you (and your friend) not to do something like this again. It's underhanded and seriously not worth the effort at all. That said, I'd go with #1. You aren't your ex's protector, provider or hero. She is a big girl that makes her own decisions and whether it'll implode or not no one knows. But if I was in her shoes and found out an ex had a friend spy on the guy I was seeing, I'd be incredibly disgusted and want nothing to do with him. Leave her to her own devices and focus on yourself for awhile. 1
soccerrprp Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Wow, you are a gem. Your "blessing?" She doesn't need your blessing. Now if you tell her it's going to look like you orchestrated something out of jealousy. If you don't and you claim to be her friend, she may get hurt. I don't know but your entrapment worked to reveal that he can be a sleeze ball. I wonder if he would have done all of this in the absence of the entrapment. I would like to know EXACTLY how your female friend managed to get this guy to take the bait. How active and persistent was she in "pushing" him to bite I wonder....anyway, you got what you wanted. Hope it all works out for her and she does not get back with someone like you. I can only imagine what else you are capable of doing when you've got the short end of the stick. 1
Author emeraldgreen Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Yeah #1 it is then. Cheers guys.
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