Acceptance in my actions

[Colton]

My actions of being distant for a most trivial reason that would have been solved if I had just spoke to her.

My action of betrayal (I didn't see it like that at first) but now with a clear head I do see that I betrayed her trust.

My lack of a backbone or dignity towards the end of the relationship.

My lack of action, as in not speaking to her about our problems towards the end instead trying to let them blow over and hoping things would go back to the way they were.

And my actions of insecurity.

 

I can finally see that I royally f'ed up and lost a great girl because I was so blind and ignorant to the fact that my actions were so ugly. I misguidedly tried to justify them as caring or whatever, but they were so far from that.

 

Looking back it's like I turned into a different person than the one she fell in love with, and in turn she became a different person than the one I fell in love with. She couldn't be in love with someone she didn't trust 100% anymore.

 

In my mind I've made her out to be the bad guy in this situation, when in reality she wasn't. I was arguably.

 

 

She did give up on us plain and simple without even trying, but I did afterall give her the reasons to.

 

I guess I'm not asking for advice or anything, I guess this is just more of a rant/getting this off my chest.

 

I can finally see and fully accept my contribution to my BU. It's been quite some time since my BU, so I feel like a bit like a fool for only fully realizing it now. But I'm not sure if it even matters at this point that I realize it.

 

Better late than never I guess

Edited February 24, 2014 by Colton

[StGeorge22]

I've had similar thoughts mate. No doubt, my ex did a lot to contribute to the break up, but I also realised I wasn't without fault.

 

While it may not get your ex back, I think it's good that you can realise this as it will help you not make the same mistake in your next relationship