Usernom1 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 All right, here it goes... This girl and I (I'm 22, she's 20) met last August when I started the third semester and she started her first at my University. We are on the same education, so we basically see each other everyday. For the first month we didn't have much contact other than greeting or nodding when seeing each other in the hallways. We began talking seriously in late September at a party and up until she broke contact in late December, we talked every single day. Ever since I met her I was very fascinated. We had great chemistry and I believe she felt the same way. We went on several dates during October and November. Museums, the cinema etc. The first time we were on a date, we went to a museum and I had decided that I wanted to try to kiss her as the date was about to end. It didn't happen as she gave me a quick hug and went inside right as we came up to her front door. At the second date we had a great time - as on the first date - and I tried to kiss her at the end of the date, but didn't succeed as she tilted her head and leaned in for a hug as I tried to kiss her. We both knew what was going on, but we didn't really talk much about it as it was an awkward situation for both of us. This all happened in October and early November last year. In early December she stayed over at my dorm and as we were about to go to sleep I took her hand and held it in mine. She told me that it was an awkward situation for her, as she had never thought she would be holding hands with someone she only considered as a friend. After a brief moment of silence, I told her that - being honest - I had anticipated a little more from our relationship (for it to be a more serious one). A few minutes went past and she told me that she was sure that we were never going to be a couple. And then she kissed me. I was confused, but in love, so I went with the moment and kissed her back. We ended up fooling around all night and didn't sleep at all. These sleepovers and fooling around went on for all of December. Both at my dorm and in her apartment. She had first told me that we were never going to be a couple. Then, in mid-December, she told me that she was confused about "us". Being confused myself about these mixed signals, I continued the sleepovers in the hope that she would turn around and start considering me as her boyfriend. About a week later, a few days before Christmas Eve, we met up on a night out. She had been drinking - I hadn't as I had been working the night shift at my job. She said, that she wasn't quite sure, why we weren't girl-/boyfriends, as if it was self-evident that we were meant to be, and I told her that it was all up to her. She knew how I felt. (To sum up, it went from 'we're never going to be a couple' -> 'I am confused about us' -> 'Why are we not a couple?' We went home to our own families for Christmas and New Years Eve. On December 25th she called me and told me that she wanted us to have a period of no contact as she had had time to think the situation through as she had been home for Christmas and that she was not in love with me. I was devastated. I had thought that she was about to be mine, but then she suddenly turned around. I accepted the no contact rule as I didn't see any other opportunity but to do so. On January 8 she called me, and told me that she had been thinking a lot about me, and allegedly she felt like "something was missing" in her life, when she wasn't in contact with me. So she broke the no contact rule that she had initiated herself. I was relieved, as I had felt the exact same way, and as I was in love, my hope of getting her back started to rise again. We talked intensely for a few days after that day, but since then our communication has been sparse. We've only seen each other once in privacy, and at a party at the University this Friday which we both attended, she didn't even talk to me. The next day, she texted me, asking if I had had a fun party - so she had definitely seen me that night! She is sending mixed signals. Leaving me alone for at week, then texting me, then leaving me alone, then texting and so on. I have no idea what to expect and how to act around her. I have never felt this way with a girl before. We had SUCH good chemistry - words can't describe it and I am so sorry that our relationship has developed this way. I know she has been treating me with disrespect, but I am still in love and don't know how to tackle these conflicting interests. I am so frustrated. Can you give me any advice on how to act towards her in this situation? Thank you very much in advance!
deathandtaxes Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 She blows hot and cold. You want a relationship. She will not commit to being your girlfriend. Why do you persist in the hope that this will turn around?
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