Guys how would you feel about your lady paying your tab without you knowing....

[Silly_Girl]

Ah....but some more than others. Just saying, as some get it handed to them every month whilst they stay home and facebook / twit all they long

 

Aye, I know what you mean. But again, I wouldn't be on a date with them either

[Emilia]

Would you feel a bit emasuclated if your lady did this or be pleasantly surprised and thankful, especially after forking out money all day long.

Hopefully not, I don't know men that would feel emasculated by it. It would bother me though if this was the only way I could pay. Don't misunderstand, I like surprising guys (friends, family, date, whoever) this way but it would annoy me if he didn't take me seriously enough to let me pay my share without sneaking off like this.

[Emilia]

I personally wouldn't be on a date (or have a second date) with a guy who didn't let me pay my share. And not in secret either. We all work hard for our money and I'm not a charity.

There you go. Exactly.

[gaius]

I don't think it's so much about not letting the woman pay. My ex probably paid for around 20% of our entertainment expenses. But there was always talk about it first when she did. She never just took it upon herself to do something that was considered my territory when my back was turned. I could see myself getting annoyed if she did.

[Emilia]

I don't think it's so much about not letting the woman pay. My ex probably paid for around 20% of our entertainment expenses. But there was always talk about it first when she did. She never just took it upon herself to do something that was considered my territory when my back was turned. I could see myself getting annoyed if she did.

My point exactly.

[d0nnivain]

Some of this goes to compatibility. Money causes more break ups then almost everything else.

 

 

In my experience, after I snuck off to pay the check, the guys I have dated finally understood that I wanted to contribute to the relationship & that financial responsibility for our good times didn't rest solely with them.

 

 

If after I did that I later found cash in my purse, I'd make sure we had a LONG talk about our respective roles & boundaries. A new man in my life would practically get his hands cut off for going in my purse. That said, I would take the found money as a signal that we needed to hash out our views on the subject. If we couldn't reach a mutually agreeable resolution, that relationship most likely wouldn't continue for me.

 

 

All the view points: he pays, she pays, they split it, have validity but the end result is the couple at issue has to agree on the viewpoint & financial arrangements that work for them.

[gaius]

My point exactly.

Kinda hot when you get all zingy.

If after I did that I later found cash in my purse, I'd make sure we had a LONG talk about our respective roles & boundaries. A new man in my life would practically get his hands cut off for going in my purse. That said, I would take the found money as a signal that we needed to hash out our views on the subject. If we couldn't reach a mutually agreeable resolution, that relationship most likely wouldn't continue for me.

One boundary crossing begets another!

 

I was gonna say that I wouldn't reccomend what mama did to most women, but the more I think about it the more I realize maybe it's just an effective means of paying for a guy without making him lose face by letting you pay. I'd prefer the negotiation though but I like to argue so that works better for me.