Guys how would you feel about your lady paying your tab without you knowing....

[mammasita]

My BF and I were out last night at a bar watching a friends band.

 

We had a full day before that....rifle range, wasting ammo, foods, sights, wildlife, mud, parks....

 

I thought it would be sweet to slip off and pay the tab because he wouldn't have any part of me paying otherwise. When he went up to close it before we left the bartender was like "it's paid" LOL.

 

Everything was all good, but I'm wondering what you all think here. Would you feel a bit emasuclated if your lady did this or be pleasantly surprised and thankful, especially after forking out money all day long.

[Hornylildevil]

My BF and I were out last night at a bar watching a friends band.

 

We had a full day before that....rifle range, wasting ammo, foods, sights, wildlife, mud, parks....

 

I thought it would be sweet to slip off and pay the tab because he wouldn't have any part of me paying otherwise. When he went up to close it before we left the bartender was like "it's paid" LOL.

 

Everything was all good, but I'm wondering what you all think here. Would you feel a bit emasuclated if your lady did this or be pleasantly surprised and thankful, especially after forking out money all day long.

 

Mammasita, as much as I sincerely hope you and your fella grow old together, if it doesn't work between you two, will you marry me? ;-) She shoots, plays in the mud AND picks up a tab?! I need to go to the East Coast! And I hope you know I meant no disrespect, just kidding. No, I wouldn't. I think that would be awesome! Now, if you opened the door for me all the time...

[Tayken]

My BF and I were out last night at a bar watching a friends band.

 

We had a full day before that....rifle range, wasting ammo, foods, sights, wildlife, mud, parks....

 

I thought it would be sweet to slip off and pay the tab because he wouldn't have any part of me paying otherwise. When he went up to close it before we left the bartender was like "it's paid" LOL.

 

Everything was all good, but I'm wondering what you all think here. Would you feel a bit emasuclated if your lady did this or be pleasantly surprised and thankful, especially after forking out money all day long.

 

NOT AT ALL....personally I like that, and know of people that wouldn't mind that kind of gesture every now and then, as opposed to being made to feel like the onus is always on you to pay for everything.

 

Part of me finds this sexy, and of course being a person that has always paid his own way and put himself through university twice...there is no bone of entitlement in me. I speak for myself of course

 

However...I despise being taken advantage of and taken for a ride. I'll not dance to that tune, and have no problem cutting cords when needs be

[mammasita]

Mammasita, as much as I sincerely hope you and your fella grow old together, if it doesn't work between you two, will you marry me? ;-) She shoots, plays in the mud AND picks up a tab?! I need to go to the East Coast! And I hope you know I meant no disrespect, just kidding. No, I wouldn't. I think that would be awesome! Now, if you opened the door for me all the time...

 

I only shoot pretty guns though

[Tayken]

if it doesn't work between you two, will you marry me?

 

Am sure you are going to be told sooner that....."this is not a dating site, and there will be no hitting on anybody"...:-)

[Hornylildevil]

I only shoot pretty guns though

 

Pink guns, right? ;-)

[Hornylildevil]

Am sure you are going to be told sooner that....."this is not a dating site, and there will be no hitting on anybody"...:-)

 

Hey, c'mon, I made it clear I was just kidding and meant no disrespect.

[carhill]

OP, my exW had a successful business and earned a good living and had no issues 'paying your tab' when we were dating and after we were married. Generally, she was that way with her friends too. I saw it as a non-issue, as I didn't define my manhood by 'taking care of her' monetarily. We were, at least for awhile, partners. I've always seen women as equals so it never occurred to me to feel anything other than gratitude for her generosity. I use that example as it contains the most iterations, compared to dating and prior girlfriends, but it underscores a general theme regarding my feelings on such matters. Men vary widely!

[Woggle]

I would love it.

[Under The Radar]

Wouldn't have a problem with it ...... equality in a relationship is always nice.

[acrosstheuniverse]

I am a female but I LOVE doing this! I always find the 'who pays' thing really awkward so I tend to wait until he goes to the bathroom or something then slip off and pay it really quickly.

 

Things kinda work themselves out over time I think, I really don't normally keep tab. But I wouldn't dream of letting a boyfriend or a date pay for everything when we're together. I enjoy being treated but I take pride in treating too. My super new boyfriend took me out for my birthday on Friday night (he got the £40 dinner, I got the £10 cab home) and he paid for takeout last night (£20) so when we went for brunch today I got the £25 bill while he went to the toilet.

[mammasita]

I am a female but I LOVE doing this! I always find the 'who pays' thing really awkward so I tend to wait until he goes to the bathroom or something then slip off and pay it really quickly.

 

Things kinda work themselves out over time I think, I really don't normally keep tab. But I wouldn't dream of letting a boyfriend or a date pay for everything when we're together. I enjoy being treated but I take pride in treating too. My super new boyfriend took me out for my birthday on Friday night (he got the £40 dinner, I got the £10 cab home) and he paid for takeout last night (£20) so when we went for brunch today I got the £25 bill while he went to the toilet.

 

Absolutely, we never discuss it. I just thought it would be a nice gesture since I'd never had this opportunity before as all the other men I've been with have never been able to properly take me out....ever.....and I'm not exaggerating.

 

This morning I bought a few groceries to make breakfast so in the grand scheme of things I think it all works out. I know neither of us are keeping tabs.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Absolutely, we never discuss it. I just thought it would be a nice gesture since I'd never had this opportunity before as all the other men I've been with have never been able to properly take me out....ever.....and I'm not exaggerating.

 

This morning I bought a few groceries to make breakfast so in the grand scheme of things I think it all works out. I know neither of us are keeping tabs.

 

We've only been seeing one another a few weeks but we kinda discussed it and just said that we like to take it in turns and be equal. For me, I really don't like splitting a tab, ya know? It just seems cheap. I like taking it in turns instead. I am more than happy to treat if I'm being treated too! It also depends on financial situations, and we are on the same level. When I've been out with guys who've been making six times what I've been making they usually pay for more (the stuff like hotel rooms, meals etc.) which I think is fair if they're happy with it.

 

I was with a guy for four years from 18-22 and he was so tight he never ONCE even bought me a cup of coffee. So when I became single again and got into dating scene, it blew my mind that men were willing and happy to spend money on a dinner for us both! Such an exciting feeling and I'm always very grateful. Some women seem to expect it but because I never had it in my longest relationship it's a huge deal to me. When the guy I was with after cheapskate guy took me to Paris out of the blue I don't think I've ever been so floored. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to treat somebody.

[d0nnivain]

I have paid tabs behind guys' backs in the past. It was always met with a positive response even from guys who wouldn't have let me within 3 feet of a check otherwise.

[HokeyReligions]

Pink guns, right? ;-)

 

Hey. I have a pink 9mm Hello Kitty. I'm saving for the pink H.K. fully automatic rifle.

 

Im glad to hear guys are ok with women picking up a tab or treating them.

[kodakgirl]

That is sweet. I like to pay sometimes but I've tended to be involved with men who really like to pay for me, so I've found I have to be sneaky sometimes. I'll have the money or card in my hand in my pocket so I can get it to the server/cashier before he can. Once, with my ex, we were getting coffee and he wanted to pay, but he'd already paid for lunch, so I said, no, no! Finally he conceded I could buy my own, but he insisited on giving me a two-pound coin for his. I took it-- and dropped it right into his open backpack. While he was fishing for it I paid for both of us.

 

Amusingly, I've had the reverse, too-- the man I was dating this summer reallllly liked paying for me (though he was better at accepting me paying for coffee if he'd bought a meal, haha). Once I tried to pay for my part of dinner by literally putting cash in his hand, but he was obviously so, so uncomfortable about it I suggested maybe I cook him a dinner at my place instead, and he was grateful to have that way out. After that if we had dinner he wouldn't even let it get to that point, he'd get up without saying where he was going and pay the tab without me even having a say. I always thanked him a lot and let him know how sweet I thought that was, of course.

Edited February 24, 2014 by kodakgirl

[Candy_Pants]

I'm a female but I think it's cool you did/do that. In the past I used to do things 50/50 with any bfs (unless they insisted otherwise). Now that I'm married I have to "sneak" and pay for things before my husband realizes what I'm up to!!! He always gets surprised and thanks me .

[bubbaganoosh]

It was a very nice thing you did and it tells me that your a very thoughtful person. I hope he thanked you for the gesture.

 

Being a guy were used to paying the tab and one time for me, I had a lady come over my house for dinner that I made for us.

 

I open the door for her and she came in with a large yellow rose in a vase and a box of chocolate covered strawberries.

 

I was floored. I didn't really know what to do until the little voice in my head kept saying, "tell her thank you, tell her thank you."

 

A nice surprise like that adds value to a relationship. Best of luck to you.

[Woggle]

These are the kind of women I would feel honored to wine and dine and be generous with. I get and I give back. That is the kind of person I am.

[gaius]

Unless it was my birthday or we agreed beforehand you'd find a wad of cash in your purse that wasn't there before.

[Tayken]

Unless it was my birthday or we agreed beforehand you'd find a wad of cash in your purse that wasn't there before.

 

Just remember life lesson #52

[Silly_Girl]

I personally wouldn't be on a date (or have a second date) with a guy who didn't let me pay my share. And not in secret either. We all work hard for our money and I'm not a charity.

[Tayken]

I personally wouldn't be on a date (or have a second date) with a guy who didn't let me pay my share. And not in secret either. We all work hard for our money and I'm not a charity.

 

Ah....but some more than others. Just saying, as some get it handed to them every month whilst they stay home and facebook / twit all they long

[Divyaya]

It's very sweet that you paying the tab, I don't think it's a problem .

[crederer]

My BF and I were out last night at a bar watching a friends band.

 

We had a full day before that....rifle range, wasting ammo, foods, sights, wildlife, mud, parks....

 

I thought it would be sweet to slip off and pay the tab because he wouldn't have any part of me paying otherwise. When he went up to close it before we left the bartender was like "it's paid" LOL.

 

Everything was all good, but I'm wondering what you all think here. Would you feel a bit emasuclated if your lady did this or be pleasantly surprised and thankful, especially after forking out money all day long.

 

Naw as long as you were shooting my gun later in the night. But in all seriousness, no.