Gloriana Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I've been with my MM for three years. He no longer lives with his W, but he still pays all of her bills, the house payment, car payment and anything the kids need. He says he does this for the kids sake, he does not want to disrupt their lives because they would have to sell the house and move to different schools if he did not keep paying. Here's my problem. My gut instinct is that he is talking to other women and not just me. He tells me he loves me, and only me. He just seems sneaky with his phone and his computer. I know he has a work email address and a personal email address. He never checks his personal email around me, but he checks his work email. I did not think anything of that until one day when he went back to his place (he stays with me when he does not have his kids), and he told me he would be back at my place after he checked his email. Why couldn't he just check it at my place? I decided not to ask him that because I respect his personal space. I also found out he has a facebook account that he said is only so he can check to listen to music. I thought facebook was to connect with friends and make new friends. I have a facebook account, and I had to find out from one of his co-workers that he has one. Is this odd behavior to anyone else?
TAV Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 YES! Respecting personal space is nice but you need to talk to him. Try to be calm
jwi71 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I've been with my MM for three years. He no longer lives with his W, but he still pays all of her bills, the house payment, car payment and anything the kids need. He says he does this for the kids sake, he does not want to disrupt their lives because they would have to sell the house and move to different schools if he did not keep paying. Here's my problem. My gut instinct is that he is talking to other women and not just me. He tells me he loves me, and only me. He just seems sneaky with his phone and his computer. I know he has a work email address and a personal email address. He never checks his personal email around me, but he checks his work email. I did not think anything of that until one day when he went back to his place (he stays with me when he does not have his kids), and he told me he would be back at my place after he checked his email. Why couldn't he just check it at my place? I decided not to ask him that because I respect his personal space. I also found out he has a facebook account that he said is only so he can check to listen to music. I thought facebook was to connect with friends and make new friends. I have a facebook account, and I had to find out from one of his co-workers that he has one. Is this odd behavior to anyone else? I think the oddest thing her is that he is STILL, per this post, MARRIED to his W. Aside from that...he simply has an integrity/honesty problem. Those don't just simply go away 'overnight'. They may not EVER go away if this part of who he is.... Trust your gut.
Author Gloriana Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 I was using bf's cell phone last week, and a text came in from a name I didn't recognize. I saw the message. It was a lady thanking him for pictures. Apparently he had been sexting this lady. Then she wrote, "I hope to talk to you again soon." I was so shocked. I deleted the text, but then realized I should have kept it to show him I saw it. I have not asked him about it yet. I know he loves me, I am just so confused on what to do.
Hope Shimmers Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I was using bf's cell phone last week, and a text came in from a name I didn't recognize. I saw the message. It was a lady thanking him for pictures. Apparently he had been sexting this lady. Then she wrote, "I hope to talk to you again soon." I was so shocked. I deleted the text, but then realized I should have kept it to show him I saw it. I have not asked him about it yet. I know he loves me, I am just so confused on what to do. You know he loves you how? He sure isn't acting like it. Why are you confused about what to do? Do you want to share him with a bunch of other women? Sounds like his wife is MUCH better off without him. You would be too.
Author Gloriana Posted March 3, 2014 Author Posted March 3, 2014 Actions show that he loves me. He is very caring, cooks for me, takes me out on dates, holds me, etc. I am confused because I love him, but I know he is not respecting me. Maybe this was a one time thing. This info is so new, I'm still in a fog.
txgrl Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 This fog maybe new . The A fog is not new . I still don't understand why he hasn't divorced his W?
Survivor12 Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 I'm sorry, but based on all that you've told us, his actions aren't showing that he loves you. Sure, he may enjoy having your affection and attention and may care for you, but if he truly loved you, he wouldn't be carrying on relationships with other women and hiding them from you. Be smart. 1
LilGirlandOW Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 Cheaters are bottomless pits for attention. He may not be telling these other women that he loves them, or taking them on dates, but cheaters have like a special kind of "Attention Deficit Disorder", they cant pay attention to just one partner at a time and their a bottomless pit in needing attention. He supports is wife and gets attention from that, dates you gets your attention, sends photos to xyz, more attention there, and so on and so forth....
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