Imightfail Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I have talked to my ex gf, everything was ok, she says she might give us another try. BUT she accused me for cheating her in this way, she explained to me why she thinks i did. I tried to see it from her perspective and i think it might be true, i didn't denied it and i didn't even really considered that i was doing this, can I make her trust me again?
lvroflife Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Congrats! But you won't MAKE her trust you, your actions will allow her to trust you!! I suggest you look up how to regain someone's trust.. But you can now breath a sigh of relief as she is willing to try. 1
Author Imightfail Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Congrats! But you won't MAKE her trust you, your actions will allow her to trust you!! I suggest you look up how to regain someone's trust.. But you can now breath a sigh of relief as she is willing to try. thank you, i hope so. i had to tell her what happened with my friend. I recurred to her to talk about the relationship and she gave me some advice, but i gotta admit i kind of left my ex aside, i was already talking with my friend like she was the only one i could count on, is it ok if i still have contact with her or should i cut it off? I really want my ex back
lvroflife Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Never cut out a friend!! Simply explain ot her that you are working on things with your ex so you will not be around a lot... And if she is a true friend she will be happy for you 1
somecamel Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 So this friend is the source of the accusations of having an emotional affair? What happened?
carhill Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 OP, did you 'love' this friend? Did you want to have sex with her? Did you engage in emotional intimacies surrounding those feelings? If you emotionally 'cheated' by asking questions and seeking advice about your relationship from this friend, then anyone who talks to friends/family members about their relationship business has equally 'cheated' emotionally. IMO, it's important to separate out feelings from the nuts and bolts of the interactions. If you wanted to 'get with' this female friend romantically and sexually, then absolutely it was inappropriate. All that said, your exGF can define emotional cheating in any manner she chooses to. If it matches up with your definition and you desire to reconcile, then work that path. She can leave you for any 'reason' she chooses to have or share. How you feel about it is irrelevant. What you'll have to decide, moving forward, is whether the reconciliation process hoops you must jump through match up with your own reasoning and sensibilities in such matters. If you're under 25, ignore all of the above and just do whatever you want to get your ex back. The whole process, what has gone before and what is to come, are important life lessons. Only way to learn is to do. Good luck. 2
pickflicker Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I have talked to my ex gf, everything was ok, she says she might give us another try. BUT she accused me for cheating her in this way, she explained to me why she thinks i did. I tried to see it from her perspective and i think it might be true, i didn't denied it and i didn't even really considered that i was doing this, can I make her trust me again? Any reason is a reason to leave someone. 1
Author Imightfail Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 So this friend is the source of the accusations of having an emotional affair? What happened? Yes she is, i asked her for advice and she told me to leave the things pass and started wanting to talk a lot to me, i haven't found that weird and my gf got upset because we weren't seeing each other at the time i was talking a lot to my friend and i gotta admit i actually feel more supported by her than by my gf, idk it thats wrong.
Author Imightfail Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 OP, did you 'love' this friend? Did you want to have sex with her? Did you engage in emotional intimacies surrounding those feelings? If you emotionally 'cheated' by asking questions and seeking advice about your relationship from this friend, then anyone who talks to friends/family members about their relationship business has equally 'cheated' emotionally. IMO, it's important to separate out feelings from the nuts and bolts of the interactions. If you wanted to 'get with' this female friend romantically and sexually, then absolutely it was inappropriate. All that said, your exGF can define emotional cheating in any manner she chooses to. If it matches up with your definition and you desire to reconcile, then work that path. She can leave you for any 'reason' she chooses to have or share. How you feel about it is irrelevant. What you'll have to decide, moving forward, is whether the reconciliation process hoops you must jump through match up with your own reasoning and sensibilities in such matters. If you're under 25, ignore all of the above and just do whatever you want to get your ex back. The whole process, what has gone before and what is to come, are important life lessons. Only way to learn is to do. Good luck. this friend also helped me with an issue i had with a past gf her opinions are always like they're the bad ones and i am the good one so it makes me feel kind of appreciated, but nothing ever really happened, i just think i gotta talk trough this with my ex, she isn't a jealous girl, i think she got upset because they were two weeks already that we havent seen each other and when she contacted me i was just like playing it cool. I wanted her to dont think she was everything on my life, don't know how to explain that. But nothing happened with the friend and i am not going to stop talking to her, just wondering if it was bad to defend her from my ex?
Mondmellonw Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 To me, it doesn't sounds like you emotionally cheated at all. You just have to make things clear with your friend and your ex (if you really think it will work). Don't get manipulated. Listen to her carefully... For what you wrote it sounds like she wants to try again and in a good manner too, so, good luck!
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