Friends been trying to set me up... last night I finally met her

[Teknoe]

For about a year I've been hearing my friends tell me about this girl, Abby. My friend would say "OMG Abby would be such a good fit for you!" or "That's what Abby would say!" Abby works overseas though, but came for a 3 week visit this past Thursday.

 

Well, I finally met the infamous Abby last night.

 

And my verdict is... just friends.

 

There is no attraction on my part, and while her personality is cool... I don't see a romantic future with her AT ALL. I kind of knew already because I've seen her pics, and I just didn't find her attractive. And I'm not going to settle to be with someone I am not attracted to. It wouldn't be fair to her and it wouldn't be honest for me. I also know she's like 30, so I ain't gonna waste her time even trying to date or get to know her, because it's one of those things where you pretty much already know... she's just a friend.

 

So while she left to the restroom at the end of the hang out, my friends asked me excitedly what I thought. I said just friends and they looked so crushed. It was like I rejected THEM. It was kind of sad to see, but it had to be done. It looked like Abby likes me, and would be interested in starting something if I made a move. But I could not based on the fact that I really rather be single and content than be in a relationship just to say "Hey everyone, I'm somebody's boyfriend!" No. I have to be attracted to her.

 

Anyway, the chapter closes. For a year they've been pushing Abby on me. Now, it's like OK we've met, and OK I can confirm what I kinda already knew.

 

So now it's just going on as normal. Anyone been in this situation before? It kinda sucks to reject someone. Heck, I just got rejected from my colleague crush a few weeks back... and now I'm doing the rejecting to someone else.

 

It really is difficult to find two single person who are mutually attracted. For me, for the last 10 years now since my last GF, it seems like it's always been I've been attracted but the girl isn't, or vice versa. I hope to meet someone I'm crazy for who actually feels similarly about me. Why it's been so hard I don't know. But oh well. It is what it is you know? You can't be obsessed with it and just have to live your life. And honestly, right now I enjoy my privacy and freedom a whole hell of a lot. I am truly content being single. In fact I feel like this is my time to embrace my singleness (finally, instead of kicking and screaming at the universe as to why I have been single for so long now).

 

Basically, I want my socks blown off, or I just rather stay single. I don't want to be "lukewarm" with my significant other.

[d0nnivain]

If you weren't feeling it with Abby, you weren't feeling it. As long as you were polite, no harm no foul & your friends will get over it.

[Tayken]

I don't want to be "lukewarm" with my significant other.

 

Be careful with that...people that start off going at it like rabbits, soon get tired of each other and it becomes redundant. Just warning you

[newmoon]

maybe what you can do now is ask your friends what is was about Abby that they thought you might like. it'd go a long way (perhaps) in showing you how your friends see you and the qualities they think you have.

[Teknoe]

maybe what you can do now is ask your friends what is was about Abby that they thought you might like. it'd go a long way (perhaps) in showing you how your friends see you and the qualities they think you have.

 

Good point. We could stand to have a casual "debrief" session... like meet them for lunch and just shoot the breeze. I think they think it's because:

 

1. we're both nice

2. we're both genuine

3. we're both looking to settle down

 

but there's more to it than that. There needs to be mutual attraction, and she just did not move my meter at all.