apetoape Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Had a first date with this girl last week on Wednesday. Date ended with us kissing outside of the train station. Kissed for about 10 sec then I broke away from her and backed up to see what she would do....she followed and kissed me again (this time she used a lot more tongue). So interest level was high but it didn't seem like she was willing to go further. Told me to text her soon and that she wants to see me again. -Texted her the next day and said how about friday. She said no but offered Saturday. -I waited until the next day to answer...said Saturday 9PM, Im picking you up. Had a little banter session going. And she seemed excited. -Saturday afternoon..she sent a text. "I woke up with the flu that's been going around in my school. You don't want to see me now, it's not cute." -I responded with " You worry about looking cute for me? Now that's cute. -No response from her, is this the end? Did i creep her out with offering to pick her up? I thought I built up a high enough attraction level on the first date/through texting that would have prevented her from flaking due to low interest.
MidwestUSA Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Well, it could be that she is really sick, and she didn't text back because she was resting. Text her this evening to tell her you hope she's feeling better. 5
MissBee Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I am a little biased against the whole texting thing as I feel it leaves a lot more room for doubts but: Maybe she is really sick and down and out, so I'd just message her again asking her about how she is feeling and not about the date. That shows you care about her. See how she responds to that and if she initiates any messages or responds well. Then if at any point she says she feels better then you can invite her out again. Perhaps don't say "I'm picking you up" but invite her out, if she agrees then you can ask "Would you like me to pick you up?" 1
jefermelesyeux Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Had a first date with this girl last week on Wednesday. Date ended with us kissing outside of the train station. Kissed for about 10 sec then I broke away from her and backed up to see what she would do....she followed and kissed me again (this time she used a lot more tongue). So interest level was high but it didn't seem like she was willing to go further. Told me to text her soon and that she wants to see me again. -Texted her the next day and said how about friday. She said no but offered Saturday. -I waited until the next day to answer...said Saturday 9PM, Im picking you up. Had a little banter session going. And she seemed excited. -Saturday afternoon..she sent a text. "I woke up with the flu that's been going around in my school. You don't want to see me now, it's not cute." -I responded with " You worry about looking cute for me? Now that's cute. -No response from her, is this the end? Did i creep her out with offering to pick her up? I thought I built up a high enough attraction level on the first date/through texting that would have prevented her from flaking due to low interest. it sounds like you did build up a high enough attraction level. it's possible that she really does have the flu, you know. i had the flu a few weeks ago; was completely fine one night, the next day i woke up feeling like death. it really can happen that quickly. don't worry too much about not having heard back from her yet- chances are if she's sick she's probably resting and not paying too much attention to her phone. maybe she fell asleep.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Don't text her back...let her get back to you. 3
gaius Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Do not text her back again after she ignored you. No matter what the reason is. 2
WP4046 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 The only true way to find out is call and then you will have your answer 1
Guitarisgood Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Let this conversation die out and give it a few days and text her just to get in touch and test waters - no asking out. If she replies thats good. Keep things short. After a few more days and hopefully if she was not lying and over the flu, give it another shot. Be patient, the longer you make someone wait who likes you the more attraction it will build as she builds up this image in her head waiting for you. 1
WP4046 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I will say that when someone is no longer interested, these are always the popular excuses Family Health 2
HappyLove Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Well, if she's lying about her health then she's a loser anyway. I'd give it time see if she gets back to you in a week. If I was sick I'd like the guy who likes me to wish me well. Just say hope your feeling better, don't pressure to chat.
WP4046 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Well, if she's lying about her health then she's a loser anyway. I'd give it time see if she gets back to you in a week. If I was sick I'd like the guy who likes me to wish me well. Just say hope your feeling better, don't pressure to chat. Using a health or family excuse is a easy way out
HappyLove Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Using a health or family excuse is a easy way out Still not right. All you need to say is, thanks was great meeting you but I don't think we're a match. When people lie about health or family they are just liars who are very comfortable with lying about anything and good riddance.
WP4046 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Still not right. All you need to say is, thanks was great meeting you but I don't think we're a match. When people lie about health or family they are just liars who are very comfortable with lying about anything and good riddance. It's just what people do in dating, men or women and it will continue
Imajerk17 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) Text her tomorrow asking her how she is feeling. Look at it this way. If she is still into you, she will appreciate your text. If she was blowing you off using her being sick, then you will know by her non-response that this was what she was doing, and that she sucks. If you wait for her to get back to you though before you text her again then it's anybody's guess. She could lose interest in the meanwhile or think that you're not interested. It sounds to me that you are overthinking things. As a rule of thumb, I tend to assume that it's on, that she likes me. An nonresponse to one text like that wouldn't faze me. I don't respond back to every text and I am a guy. I think you ought to adopt the same mindset OP as it works out really well. PS: Offering to pick her up for a second date is a great idea. IF she isn't ready for that then she can tell you. Edited February 24, 2014 by Imajerk17 1
writergal Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I'm showing my age here, but my generation always used the phone in these kinds of dating situations. (Of course we didn't have access to the internet or to cellphones with internet in the 1980s). 100% of dating problems today could easily be solved with a simple phone call. Don't people like to talk to each other anymore? Why are people so lazy (texting and emailing)? Just call her to see how she's feeling. If you get her voicemail leave her a message for god sake. If she doesn't return your call she's not interested. Simple as that.
Mo_Do Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Well, if she's lying about her health then she's a loser anyway. I'd give it time see if she gets back to you in a week. If I was sick I'd like the guy who likes me to wish me well. Just say hope your feeling better, don't pressure to chat. This ^ and it also appears the OP has allowed his heart to take over, which is the death knell for dating. She's a big girl and knows how to get in touch with you regarding a 2nd date ...and will if she wants one. If so, great, if not...who cares! You should have other irons in the fire to keep you from caring solely about one.
gaius Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Again, acting like a douche and continually texting/calling when she isn't responding is the surest way to get passed over by an attractive woman. Probably a less attractive one too. Even if she's in the hospital having brain surgery. You're getting some bad advice in this thread.
topaMAXX Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Don't text her back...let her get back to you. This is the correct response. In all likelihood, you will not hear from her again.
Author apetoape Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Listened to you guys and did not message her again. She finally responded with a 'I do try". I'm going to wait a day before i respond to this. Any tips on what to say? And FYI, this might sound like a oneitis case but its not. I have 4 other girls on standby, but this one is my favorite....best looks/best personality/most compatibility combo.
Fly Union Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Listened to you guys and did not message her again. She finally responded with a 'I do try". I'm going to wait a day before i respond to this. Any tips on what to say? And FYI, this might sound like a oneitis case but its not. I have 4 other girls on standby, but this one is my favorite....best looks/best personality/most compatibility combo. Don't even reply to this. You have initiated the second date and she flaked. The ball is in her court now to get back to you about rescheduling. Focus on the other women in your life. Don't waste energy with this one.
Barbarossa Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Listened to you guys and did not message her again. She finally responded with a 'I do try". I'm going to wait a day before i respond to this. Any tips on what to say? And FYI, this might sound like a oneitis case but its not. I have 4 other girls on standby, but this one is my favorite....best looks/best personality/most compatibility combo. I would text her back something simple like "I hope your feeling better" then leave the ball in her court. I would take all advice here with a grain of salt if your juggling 5 women your obviously doing something right.
Emilia Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 -I waited until the next day to answer... Next time don't do this when you like the person. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 That's the excuse I use when I'm losing interest lol
Emilia Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Listened to you guys and did not message her again. She finally responded with a 'I do try". I'm going to wait a day before i respond to this. Any tips on what to say? And FYI, this might sound like a oneitis case but its not. I have 4 other girls on standby, but this one is my favorite....best looks/best personality/most compatibility combo. If she is worth her salt she will pick up on your games. If you like her just be honest and try to build it up with her. If she is as great as you think it means she has options and if she thinks you are lukewarm about her .... Games are a turn off. Lack of confidence - thinking you have to play games rather than be yourself - is a turn off. 3
BeholdtheMan Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Let this conversation die out and give it a few days and text her just to get in touch and test waters - no asking out. No need for that. She has your number. She can simply text or call if she wants to get back in touch again. Last message was from you. Ball's in her court.
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