Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Hi, I am a 20 year old male and I am stuck on how to ask this girl out. So there is this girl I like and I don't know how to go about asking her out. Ok so I have went to primary and secondary school with this girl but I never really knew her that well. We have never really had a conversation but we say hello to each other if we see each other about. My biggest problem I think is how she sees me. In the past I would have been really quiet and shy and I'm afraid she see me as being boring. She is really beautiful and popular but she is single and I do think I might have a chance with her. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Silver.... stop. Gosh, this is like pouring ground glass into my eyes....
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Silver.... stop. Gosh, this is like pouring ground glass into my eyes.... What? I have been told to try and do this sort of stuff. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 No, you haven't. You've been advised to practise your socialising skills by generally talking to a broad spectrum of people - young, old, male, female - until you feel comfortable engaging in conversation with anyone.
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 No, you haven't. You've been advised to practise your socialising skills by generally talking to a broad spectrum of people - young, old, male, female - until you feel comfortable engaging in conversation with anyone. I think I need to be talking to girls my own age to get over my shyness. I am so frustrated at my current situation that it gets me down a lot. I would love to just hug her and spend time with her and make her happy.
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 There are no short-cuts. This is an ongoing process you have to take gently, slowly and methodically. You need to get to the point where interacting with other people - in a way that is comfortable for you - is as natural to you as smiling. Nobody's asking you to force any type of manner - but you have to find your own level, and be comfortable wherever you're at.... 1
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 I have never asked a girl out so I am wondering how most people would go about it?
Vero Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Uhhh, you ask them out? Why does it have to be such a big deal to ask a girl out? Let alone talk you her. Theyre people, you know. You don't have to do ANYTHING but be yourself and be kind. Express yourself and let them get to know you vise versa. 1
OhThatGirl Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I would love to just hug her and spend time with her and make her happy. Something isn't sitting right about this. If I had gone to school with someone and he hadn't actually had a conversation with me and yet I found out he wanted to do these things I'd be freaked out. You have to get to know a person before moving on to the level of intimacy required for a hug, making someone happy, and spending time together. How do you think you have a chance with her if you haven't even talked to her? And this is mentioned right after you say you feel frustrated about your shyness? Does she seem like she needs someone to make her happy or are you just projecting on to her what you would like someone to do to you? Again. Just seems odd that someone I don't really know and have never had a conversation with would be wanting to "make me happy." Get to know me? Sure. Make me happy? No. 1
Guitarisgood Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 1) Stop putting her on a pedestal. She is just like any other girl - she poops, she farts, she eats. If you do, it's a quick way to losing her. 2) Interacting with EVERYONE like a poster has said is important. Strike up a quick conversation with the checkout chick, with the guy waiting at the bus stop. Basically you have to reach that point of confidence and nonchalance if you want to snag the prize. 3) Make yourself interesting. Pick up the guitar, hobbies etc. For all you know, she could see you as this mysterious quiet guy that she knows nothing about. If thats the case, you're half way their. Attraction is built in the unknown and then the slow learning of someone. 4) Most importantly interact with EVERY GIRL you meet. If you are shy, start with your family then even move onto the not as good looking ones etc. It builds your confidence and also shows you're a nice guy and not a snob 5) Patience. Everything takes time, if you initiate 1 conversation per day, see that as a goal achieved and keep working on bettering it. 6) Remember there are plenty of woman out their whom can be even more better than this girl. Ultimately you must focus on building your life as greatest as you can as woman can smell and are attracted to someone who knows where he is going - not to mention what you can bring with career and money. 1
milwinlol Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 We have never really had a conversation but we say hello to each other if we see each other about. Okay, first of all, you need to have a conversation with this girl. You need to show her you're not boring. All girls love guys who can make them laugh. Maybe add her on a social network site such as Facebook, or Twitter, or whatever you're into. Send her a quick, casual message, asking how she is.... talk for a while and if it's looking positive, suggest doing someone. Nothing too fancy, just to hangout, maybe to go for a drink, or if you guys are into the same things, suggest something along those lines. Hope this could of been somewhat helpful........don't get yourself down and don't listen to negative messages from......others^ 1
Author Silver93 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Something isn't sitting right about this. If I had gone to school with someone and he hadn't actually had a conversation with me and yet I found out he wanted to do these things I'd be freaked out. You have to get to know a person before moving on to the level of intimacy required for a hug, making someone happy, and spending time together. How do you think you have a chance with her if you haven't even talked to her? And this is mentioned right after you say you feel frustrated about your shyness? Does she seem like she needs someone to make her happy or are you just projecting on to her what you would like someone to do to you? Again. Just seems odd that someone I don't really know and have never had a conversation with would be wanting to "make me happy." Get to know me? Sure. Make me happy? No. I understand what you mean and that may have been my frustration seeping out but I have never even had a female friend and it leaves me frustrated a lot.
Author Silver93 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 I think I have a way of starting a conversation with the girl I like. She is in a play and I am planning on going to see it. After I see it I am going to contact her on facebook and say how good she was. Not bad eh? haha 1
Barbarossa Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I think I have a way of starting a conversation with the girl I like. She is in a play and I am planning on going to see it. After I see it I am going to contact her on facebook and say how good she was. Not bad eh? haha Saying you enjoyed her in the play is fine just don't be a creep 1
Author Silver93 Posted February 26, 2014 Author Posted February 26, 2014 I really don't see myself having a realistic chance with this girl. My confidence has always been really low.
Author Silver93 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 Saw the girl in question in the play she's in and of course she was BRILLIANT. I kinda feel like she is far too good for me.
callingyouuu Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I really don't see myself having a realistic chance with this girl. My confidence has always been really low. As someone who's recently got burnt hard by putting someone on a pedestal, I recommend you work on the bolded before you start anything with this girl.
Author Silver93 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 As someone who's recently got burnt hard by putting someone on a pedestal, I recommend you work on the bolded before you start anything with this girl. Your probably right but I feel like she won't be single for long so I might miss my chance.
Author Silver93 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Something isn't sitting right about this. If I had gone to school with someone and he hadn't actually had a conversation with me and yet I found out he wanted to do these things I'd be freaked out. You have to get to know a person before moving on to the level of intimacy required for a hug, making someone happy, and spending time together. How do you think you have a chance with her if you haven't even talked to her? What I meant by that is that I would love to be in a position for both of us to do that. I didn't mean doing it to her without getting to know her first.
Recommended Posts