JoL Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 I have had 4 relationships, from age 15-22. The first one was with my first love. I was crazy for this boy from age 13 onwards. He broke my heart at 16 and dated my friend soon after..i was crushed. It took me a year to get over it. Ever since then, the other 3 guys, i have always ended the relationship, with them left broken hearted thinking i was "the one" each time. I dont know how i get myself into these situations...where i am ready to move on and think its the right thing to do and they are crying and devestated. I feel awful and i am scared to date again, with fear that i will not be 100% sure again and want to move on. The 2nd guy i dated i was 17/18, he kept telling me how he couldnt believe a girl like me was dating him. He put me on a pedestal and was very emotionally needy. I cared a great deal for him, i wanted to make him happy..but he was way beyond that point, he decided i was "the one" and he was going to marry me. Unfortunately, those feelings weren't there for me and we ended it, with him in tears even a year later when i dated my 3rd bf. The 3rd guy i dated at 19-21. was madly in love with him at first. we were in our honeymoon stage for about a year. Then things slowly went down hill for the 2nd year. He started to annoy me with his opinionated personality, his attitude towards some things got on my nerves and i was unhappy. He knew this, we tried to work it out, it didnt work. We ended it with him broken hearted and telling me he honestly thought i was "the one". Soon after i dated number 4. He was great, charming, sexy, confident and a lot of fun. I wasnt really ready for a boyfriend so we took things slow. Before i knew it, i was in a serious relationship with him and his abusive, controlling, jealous personality. 90% of the time he was great, then other times would rage on and on. He kept telling me i was the "the one"..the love of his life and he wanted to marry me. I loved him a great deal and tried to work through his abuse- it wasnt to be- he coudlnt change..so after a year, i ended it and have kept a strict NC rule in place as he gets nasty. My friends even joke that every guy i date i send cuckoo. I dont find it funny! Im left thinking what am i doing wrong?? I am honest about how i feel, i dont lie, cheat, or anything, so how do i manage to always get in relationships where the guy is planning the wedding and i am running away? Am i scared of commitment?! I dont know! I need some outsider opinions to put this into perspective.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 you just sound like any typical girl/women! they have always broken my heart it sounds like after you got first 'roasted' you never want that to happen again you are very young but you probably are scared of commitment and someone sending you cuckoo... my ex was like you except older, always talked about never wanting to get hurt and told me how she wasn't sure the whole relationship all because she got roasted 12 years ago she carried that all the way into our relationship and she ultimately killed it!
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