Redhawkk Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Well it's been almost a month now. And I finally got my stuff back from her this past monday. Yes yes, before anything I should admit that when I did go get my things, we went to a cafe and talked for a couple hours. But we still decided it was best. I have this horrible false hope that I just want gone. We had texted last weekend about our relationship and what we had loved about each other; but now I have this dumb feeling that I may even still have a chance of getting back with her in the future. If not now, then maybe in a year or sooner(hopefully). She told me she still loved me but she wanted to focus on herself, her studies and her aspirations before being committed. We were together for almost 3 years and I find it hard not be there for her. I wanted to share her dreams and even though she was the one who wanted to end things, she seemed to take it harder than me. Now I just feel like she might still be in love with me, but feels that she can't be independent with me in her life anymore. She still wants to maintain a low contact(sending letters, but no texting or anything like that). I'm confused, broken and I just want her back in my life. She had the greatest family...her mother called me the day we broke up and told me that the whole family was upset, her mother told me she loved me and that I was a part of them. I don't want my GF back because of any other reason rather than I'm still madly in love with her, and I love her family. We had too much in common and we never fought...EVER. SO I don't understand why this could have happened. I'm more than positive we threw away something that could have been so much more.
Kopite Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Well it's been almost a month now. And I finally got my stuff back from her this past monday. Yes yes, before anything I should admit that when I did go get my things, we went to a cafe and talked for a couple hours. But we still decided it was best. I have this horrible false hope that I just want gone. We had texted last weekend about our relationship and what we had loved about each other; but now I have this dumb feeling that I may even still have a chance of getting back with her in the future. If not now, then maybe in a year or sooner(hopefully). She told me she still loved me but she wanted to focus on herself, her studies and her aspirations before being committed. We were together for almost 3 years and I find it hard not be there for her. I wanted to share her dreams and even though she was the one who wanted to end things, she seemed to take it harder than me. Now I just feel like she might still be in love with me, but feels that she can't be independent with me in her life anymore. She still wants to maintain a low contact(sending letters, but no texting or anything like that). I'm confused, broken and I just want her back in my life. She had the greatest family...her mother called me the day we broke up and told me that the whole family was upset, her mother told me she loved me and that I was a part of them. I don't want my GF back because of any other reason rather than I'm still madly in love with her, and I love her family. We had too much in common and we never fought...EVER. SO I don't understand why this could have happened. I'm more than positive we threw away something that could have been so much more. Hey pal. Same thing happened to me. I had a great relationship with her family, I wanted to share her dreams too, and we never fought but all of a sudden she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me anymore so I ended things because she kept giving me false hope and it was destroying me. I haven't spoken to her or her family/friends since we broke up 2 months ago and after weeks of sadness, regret and anger, I've started to accept the situation. It's been a tough ride because I still get that occasional touch of false hope but it's less now. Unfortunately, you will probably have to go through similar pain. You need to accept that she doesn't want you in her life at this point. For whatever reason. An important point here is not to try and question what happened. I've been doing this for two months and it doesn't lead anywhere. Just accept that she wants to be independent for now. If she really wanted to be with you, she would let you know. It sucks about her family and all. I loved my ex's family more than anything but I have no real desire to contact them now because I feel that they would remind me too much of her. I would recommend not even writing letters to her even if that's what she wants. 1
MixedMinh Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I also have high hopes. I've always been a "dreamer". But know this.. you hope for love. You want to love and be loved. She isn't the only one who can do that. She's the only one you can picture doing that with now. I also can't picture it with anyone but my ex and I do have hopes for us. Just remember, there was once a time where you were just strangers. You chose to love a stranger. Maybe you can do that again. Maybe I can love a stranger again. 2
jameslonn Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I'm so here right now what if we threw away something so good cannot imagine life going NC with her forever the idea more than anything just flaws me
ithappenedagain Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Can I jump on the wagon too? I am also suffering from a very similar breakup. Her whole family LOVED me and even said that I was their favorite boyfriend that they met. Her mom and grandma just adored me. It's been about 6 weeks since the BU and we have maintained NC pretty much the whole way through. I hear that she is going out having a blast and it just kills me inside. I miss her so much, yet she is out having a blast. I am 32 and she is 25 so I guess she just wanted to enjoy her 20's more. I dont know. I really miss her and loved her so much. Sorry for the pain you are in. I can feel it through the computer I will say a prayer for everyone tonight. 3
rec88 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I'm another person with a similar experience, but I'm pretty far removed from it, over a year. I can remember the false hope all too well. You feel that there's now way you can be wrong, but her decision still stands. That's the deal. If I can offer some advice, go NC. Do it. I know you want to be there for her, but she doesn't want that. You want to love her, but she doesn't want that. You want to give her everything you have, but she doesn't want that. These are the things you need to remind yourself of when it becomes difficult to respect her decision. I know this is tough advice, but please trust me as someone with clear hindsight. Respect her decision and gracefully bow out of her life, none of this limited contact bs that she would like. The struggle will cause you to grow as a person and you will be proud of yourself later. Others, including her, can have nothing but respect for you if you do this. 2
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