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Is this possible, or am I living in a fantasy world?

the_entertainer1

By the_entertainer1
in General Relationship Discussion

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the_entertainer1 Established Member

the_entertainer1

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Do you think it's possible for two people who are attracted to each other but unable to be together, to remain platonic friends or acquaintances?

Els Established Member

Els

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Depends on how strong the attraction is.

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TAV Established Member

TAV

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Maybe... Must be torture though... :(

BeingMe Established Member

BeingMe

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Depends on if they've already crossed the friendship line previously.

 

If they have....No. There's no going back.

 

If they haven't, it's still asking for all kinds of trouble/hurt,especially if either of them is in a relationship.

 

Best thing for them both is to move away from each other,change jobs etc because it will be hard for either to move on otherwise.

Els Established Member

Els

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Nah, if the attraction is mild ("I think he/she is pretty cute" as opposed to "I fantasize about him/her day and night") it's very possible and really not torturous.

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soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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Do you think it's possible for two people who are attracted to each other but unable to be together, to remain platonic friends or acquaintances?

 

Yes. I have a couple of very attractive female friends. We admit that we are attracted, but only in the sense that we find each other attractive and in another lifetime would probably being dating one another. But, not sure if this is consistent with me, but I don't want to jump either of their bones. I only have eyes and desires for my gf. :) Does that make sense?

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Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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Depends on how strong the attraction is.

 

There lies the problem ....how do you conduct that litmus test?

 

The answer is pure and simply.....FANTASY WORLD. It only takes a moment of madness to come between ya, and bam the line is crossed. The victim in all this.....the spouse or spouses of these two would be platonic "friends".

 

As the saying goes...you never return to a place where you've said goodnight

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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Do you think it's possible for two people who are attracted to each other but unable to be together, to remain platonic friends or acquaintances?

 

Has it been discussed? Has any sexual flirting happened, lines crossed etc? If that's a yes and you both are aware of it then no real friendship can happen.

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

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Let be honest...the whole "can we be friend" nonsense.....is just having a backup plan aka FWB. Call it what is and stop prancing around

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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Nah, if the attraction is mild ("I think he/she is pretty cute" as opposed to "I fantasize about him/her day and night") it's very possible and really not torturous.

 

Pretty much.

 

I tell my friends about "fake crushes" and they're like huh? And what you described is what I mean. A fake crush is someone that I'm attracted to and may think he's so sexy, smart, funny etc. but besides that it's not like I'm fantasizing about him or am overcome with feelings. I currently have one guy acquaintance like this. He's so handsome, witty, incredibly brilliant and sweet and I joke that I'd for sure do him and more than once I've fantasized about it, but he's engaged and I also happen to really like his fiance and my attraction to him is pretty harmless. I wouldn't ever cross the line neither is it something that tortures me or takes up head space. I actually rarely think about him until I see him then maybe for that day I'm like ugggh he's so hot, then by the next day I forget about it. We hang out in group settings every few months but I don't him actually really want to be with him in a "real" way.

 

So if it's like that it is very possible to be acquaintances and friends but if you seriously are emotionally attached to the point of genuinely wishing to be with them and fantasies then it may not work.

Edited by MissBee
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TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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Of course its possible. Depends on the people involved.

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the_entertainer1 Established Member

the_entertainer1

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Has it been discussed? Has any sexual flirting happened, lines crossed etc? If that's a yes and you both are aware of it then no real friendship can happen.

 

No, it hasn't been discussed. Can you define "sexual flirting"? He asked if I had a boyfriend, what my "type" was, and when I said I didn't have a bf, he told me that I was attractive and I'd meet someone soon enough ... does that count? In my opinion, that got a bit close to the line but didn't cross it.

 

Basically, I don't want to cross any lines but I'm concerned about whether maintaining a friendship (and not a particularly close friendship, at that - but one that I'd like, nonetheless) is viable or not.

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