How to give someone space..

[lamaga]

When I am in love I want to always be with that person and always know what they are up to or at least talk a few times a day, say good morning and goodnight via text for example... My current boyfriend never texts me anything like that. he usually gets in touch once a day, usually in the evening and most often through call, asks what I am doing and, about every second day, if I want to spend time.

 

We live one street apart so I find it super convenient to just hang out a lot. But I realise he needs his space, and I need it too, even if I don't realise it through my rose-tinned-glasses.

 

So for example when we spend two consecutive days together, and he leaves in the morning, I don't hear from him for the rest of the day, and usually not until the next day in the evening. That's all cool and makes sense, but for me it is difficult to not want to text him, for example, a picture of something I see, or comment on something I read in the news, etc.

Is that weird that I have that need?

Or is it weird that he doesn't have that need?

 

How do you suppress the need to want to text your significant other all the time?

[TaraMaiden]

This one is difficult for me to answer... My H and I knew within a matter of days of meeting, that we wanted to be together for good... when apart through necessity, we phoned and texted each other every day, sometimes more than once, and always called each other at night to say goodnight. We'd look up when the sky was clear and loved the fact that we were both looking at a particular star, or the moon, at the same time, albeit 2 countries apart....

 

So actually, I'm the wrong person to ask!

[newmoon]

your 'schedule' with your bf sounds very normal to me. when a bf is with me for significant amounts of time (a full day or a night or two), I expect to not hear from him for a day or two. if you're needing more than what he's giving (which sounds like a decent amount of attention) you might want to ask yourself if you're making him too much a part of your life. if you feel the need to text him, send him pics, etc. it would indicate to me that perhaps you don't have other close friends to share those things with and you're making him your 'world.' if you have more hobbies and interests of your own the time flies and how much your bf/husband is in contact matters very little because you're busy doing other things and thinking of other things. women (and men) who need too much texting/convos/contact are failing at making themselves happy and relying too much on the other person. co-dependent isn't attractive. be busy and you won't be bothered by his lack of contact, and use your female friends as outlets when you need to talk or send something random.

[Grumpybutfun]

Honestly, I wanted to spend every moment with her and I had never wanted that with anyone before. I never even wanted to be in a relationship or date exclusively before, so it was a shock to both of us how we just gravitated towards each other and it felt so natural to be together every moment we weren't at work. I still feel the same way though we realize we have to have separate friends and activities so we are still interesting to each other and are well rounded as individuals. Plus, I don't paint or wrote and she doesn't hunt or fish. We often laugh that it is a chore to have to be with those other people.....maybe we are just odd.

If this is how you are in every relationship, you might just not like to be alone.

G

[Thegreatestthing]

I have become clingy myself lately which I've never been,I need to talk to them from the time I come home to early hours everyday,last night I wasn't able to and realised I was really out of sorts,it is important to give the space so they remain in love,miss you etc ,it's good and normal I think to want them all the time in love,but maybe you can visit websites,blogs, and read books and so on,or watch a film or plan some trips to not need them so much.

It's what I will try to do