abby_tx Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 When I'm on dates, I keep my cellphone on vibrate in my purse and don't look at it at all. I've noticed a lot of guys I go out with keep it out on the table and reach for it often. They have even replied to texts mid-conversation. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I went on a third date with a guy the other night and he asked me why I chose the career path I did, as I'm explaining it, he glances at his phone and starts to text. I stop and say, "Did you want to leave?" He said, "No! Why? Are ready to leave?" I said, "No, it just looked like you were getting ready to head out." I think he got the hint because he then set down his phone. I'm not sure if I handled it well, but telling him something so personal while he's distracted really made my heart sink. I almost checked out right then and there. What do you guys do in similar situations? 3
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Put both phones face-down on the table and say: "First person to even check their phone pays for tonight's meal and all travel expenses, too." 2
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 As a guy, my phone is on the table..and face down (hate keeping in my pocket). It's also on vibrate. I would never consider checking the phone on a date. To me, the company is why you are there. If you can't focus on 'her' on a date...how's that going to go down the road? Of course, there are exceptions to every rule (perhaps a doctor or an urgent work evening). But in those cases, it should be made clear that you aren't trying to be rude. As for women - if I see a woman checking her phone during the date, I would consider her really not interested.
shvrk Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I HATE that mess... beyond on a date (never really happens to me) but if I am hanging out with friends they stay on their phones and it's just like I came to spend time with you... not watch you text other people.... But on a date I'd be totally insulted
Author abby_tx Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 As for women - if I see a woman checking her phone during the date, I would consider her really not interested. That's what I think too. And even if I weren't interested in him, I would still be polite and keep the phone away. This guy is really hard to read. Pulling the phone out was almost like a nervous thing too. Like he'd pull it out, catch himself, put it back. It's sorta annoying. We're supposed to go out tonight, but I'm waiting for him to initiate it.
Author abby_tx Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 I HATE that mess... beyond on a date (never really happens to me) but if I am hanging out with friends they stay on their phones and it's just like I came to spend time with you... not watch you text other people.... But on a date I'd be totally insulted I wonder if I should have ended the date there instead of letting him redeem himself?
HappyLove Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I wonder if I should have ended the date there instead of letting him redeem himself? I'd give him a chance. It's such a bad habit that A LOT of people have. The fact that you said something, I'd see if he does better next time. Everyone makes mistakes. 1
Radu Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Abby, i'd give him another shot, not because i'm a guy and i'm trying to score points with my fellow -God help me for saying this- bros, but because he got the message. In my experience, what happened on your date, the way he acted, is something men see all the time with women on dates [studies made by marketing ppl show that basically 2 women for every 1 man consider the smartphone a necessity in life and are somewhat addicted to it]. And i really liked the way you handled it, in fact i'm going to steal that line. 2
HokeyReligions Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Cell phones weren't around when I was dating but had they been, mine would have been off and in my purse and I would expect my dates' to be hidden and off as well. If I, or he, needed to check messages we would excuse ourself and check privately. That said sometimes when hubby and I go out for dinner and we just don't feel like talking we both pull out our phones and play games while we wait for our food. Lol! Sometimes we are like kids in the honeymoon phase and other times like an old fuddy-fuddy married couple. 1
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 When I'm on dates, I keep my cellphone on vibrate in my purse and don't look at it at all. I've noticed a lot of guys I go out with keep it out on the table and reach for it often. They have even replied to texts mid-conversation. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I went on a third date with a guy the other night and he asked me why I chose the career path I did, as I'm explaining it, he glances at his phone and starts to text. I stop and say, "Did you want to leave?" He said, "No! Why? Are ready to leave?" I said, "No, it just looked like you were getting ready to head out." I think he got the hint because he then set down his phone. I'm not sure if I handled it well, but telling him something so personal while he's distracted really made my heart sink. I almost checked out right then and there. What do you guys do in similar situations? Any person responding to a text while you are out with them is a very good reason for you to end the date and go home 1
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 As a guy, my phone is on the table..and face down (hate keeping in my pocket). It's also on vibrate. I would never consider checking the phone on a date. To me, the company is why you are there. If you can't focus on 'her' on a date...how's that going to go down the road? Of course, there are exceptions to every rule (perhaps a doctor or an urgent work evening). But in those cases, it should be made clear that you aren't trying to be rude. As for women - if I see a woman checking her phone during the date, I would consider her really not interested. Your phone should be on the table
SoonMyFriend Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I'd give him another chance to see how he now behaves on dates. Personally, my phone is out of view in my purse. I also find it annoying when people check phones constantly on a date. It's just rude. 1
NYC-BigKat Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 When I'm on dates, I keep my cellphone on vibrate in my purse and don't look at it at all. I've noticed a lot of guys I go out with keep it out on the table and reach for it often. They have even replied to texts mid-conversation. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I went on a third date with a guy the other night and he asked me why I chose the career path I did, as I'm explaining it, he glances at his phone and starts to text. I stop and say, "Did you want to leave?" He said, "No! Why? Are ready to leave?" I said, "No, it just looked like you were getting ready to head out." I think he got the hint because he then set down his phone. I'm not sure if I handled it well, but telling him something so personal while he's distracted really made my heart sink. I almost checked out right then and there. What do you guys do in similar situations? I know what its like & makes me so so mad. I had a girl do this me once & I knocked the phone right out of her hand 'cause I got so tired of it. I hate it when people aren't into the date like they should be .
Author abby_tx Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Setting it on the table, even face down, is sorta lame in my opinion. It should be in pockets/purse. 2
HokeyReligions Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Your phone should be on the table Why? Is it some kind of signal that if the person leaves the table the remaining person can be assured that person will return? I guess i hadn't considered that. But I do remember one guy I dated left his wallet on the table when he excused himself. I was starting to call to him that he forgot it when it dawned on me that he could easily ditch me and leaving the wallet was his assurance he wouldn't. As attached as we all are with our cell phones now I could understand that reason for having the phone on the table. Face down and off of course.
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I thought it was really sweet what this girl did one time I was on a date I saw her take her phone and started texting and had no idea she was doing it to text me........"i;m enjoying my time with you" 1
Ruby Slippers Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Texting during lunch or dinner out, especially on a date, reveals terrible social skills. I'm definitely not compatible with people who are so plugged in to the matrix that they can't go an hour or two without checking their phone. I said no to a third date with a guy once because he answered an unimportant phone call as we were sitting down to a nice dinner out. It felt disrespectful and repellant to me.
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Why? Is it some kind of signal that if the person leaves the table the remaining person can be assured that person will return? I guess i hadn't considered that. But I do remember one guy I dated left his wallet on the table when he excused himself. I was starting to call to him that he forgot it when it dawned on me that he could easily ditch me and leaving the wallet was his assurance he wouldn't. As attached as we all are with our cell phones now I could understand that reason for having the phone on the table. Face down and off of course. Why? it's supposed to be off on a date. And please don't come to me with that it can be an emergency crap because I will head to the toilet
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Texting during lunch or dinner out, especially on a date, reveals terrible social skills. I'm definitely not compatible with people who are so plugged in to the matrix that they can't go an hour or two without checking their phone. I said no to a third date with a guy once because he answered an unimportant phone call as we were sitting down to a nice dinner out. It felt disrespectful and repellant to me. it could have been an emergency lol
Ruby Slippers Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 If he didn't answer, the person could have texted "It's an emergency!" It was not an emergency. I would have let it go to VM and checked it later.
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 If he didn't answer, the person could have texted "It's an emergency!" It was not an emergency. I would have let it go to VM and checked it later. I agree with you but that is always the justification of so many women who want to use their phones on dates
HokeyReligions Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Why? it's supposed to be off on a date. And please don't come to me with that it can be an emergency crap because I will head to the toilet Either you have a big problem or you replied to the wrong posts. Go back and read my posts again.
WP4046 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Either you have a big problem or you replied to the wrong posts. Go back and read my posts again. you stated you don't have a issue with someone having their phone on the table and I stated that it's no reason to answer it so why have it out??
BikerAccnt Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I turn my phone OFF on dates, or while I am doing anything important. Why back in the day (and I was alive and dating waaayyy back then). If you wanted to make a phone call, you had to get up, walk outside, find a phone, stick money in it, and make a call. Imagine how your date would feel about that! I don't think it's any less rude, to let your phone interrupt your date. Unless you have children, and young children at that, turn the damn phone off. 1
HokeyReligions Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) you stated you don't have a issue with someone having their phone on the table and I stated that it's no reason to answer it so why have it out?? Yeah. You have a problem. Try reading my first two posts on this thread again, this time a little slower. I presented a scenario wherein I could understand the reason to have the phone on the table. I said nothing about using the device. Edited February 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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