luvlost88 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I just don't get it.. My boyfriend has been broken up with me for over 3 months now.. started completely ignoring my texts for over 6 weeks (I gave up trying to get a reply out of him after the 2nd week) and has just vanished out of my life after promising he never would disappear on me 3 days before the last message he sent. What hurt the most is how he never said we were over for good but he would need time before he could come back. Now it's like he could care a less if I live or die. I have now completely cut him out of my life, I avoid Facebook, deleted his contact info and pics off my phone, hid anything around my place that was from him or reminded me of him, and started dating again.. yet no matter how much I try to move on he keeps popping into my mind. My date the other night took me to the exact place me and my ex met on our first date and all the memories came back. When I go to kiss anyone else I get a sick to my stomach feeling because the only guy I want to be kissing is my ex. We really had the rest of our loves planned out around each other and now all I feel in my life is this void, day after day. What am I doing wrong? I just don't get it. It seems the more I try to move on, the more I miss my ex and just want to be back in his arms. Am I missing some important step in the whole moving on process?
STM206 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 First of all YOU aren't doing anything wrong. Everyone handles breakups differently. I would advise maybe refraining from dating right now. You made it clear that you felt "wrong" which just means your heart is still dealing and processing the break up. We all put our exes on a pedestal after they've left, all of the sudden everything about them seems golden, that no one can ever compare... Which is untrue. They had amazing qualities for sure, but they also more often than not showed their "other" side once they left. It hurts, and you have to let it hurt. The promises, the "I'll never leave you, I can't imagine life without you" all comes to a screeching halt once they've made their exit. It feels as if you were lied to, as if you weren't "enough" but I think all of us know that those who leave, ultimately aren't happy with themselves. Give yourself time, don't regret anything you may have said or done after the breakup, we all react, we all want to fight to save our relationships, but it takes a 2 way street. Slowly try new things, even if you don't want to. Go out with your friends, talk to those close to you, find happiness in other places and one day you'll feel "okay" with potentially meeting another guy, and you'll be wiser for it. You'll ask those questions that you didn't think you needed to ask. You'll be a little more protective of your heart, you'll see the signs, all of it. Try your hardest to maintain no contact. This also includes not stalking him. I made the mistake this morning to check his facebook and saw he was having "the time of his life" with his co workers... What did that do for me? Made me feel like ****, like he was traveling, smiling and acting happier than he had ever been. Exes KNOW that you might be checking up on them, so they make the extra effort to show off. What you don't know, won't hurt you. If they want to reach out, they'll reach out, but that doesn't mean you need to stop your life to wait. They aren't waiting, so why should you? The weight of knowing "hey, at least I was loyal, loving, and made attempts to work on things" should be off your shoulders. Let them live with the guilt that they treated you as if you didn't matter, because they know deep down, you did! Your love will be shared with someone else, someone more deserving. <3 1
Author luvlost88 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Sorry to hijack my own thread, but what is the reason of exes showing off on Facebook? Mine recently started doing that 4 weeks into our no contact. This was the reason for me avoiding FB the past 2 weeks. He was posting "true love never dies" quotes on his wall, pictures with his family with "feeling loved" statuses (he never posted many if any pics before the breakup), and liking random girls posts that wouldn't even be his type. Also, poking a ton of people (including me, I never poked back) and even commenting "sexy" on one girls picture who never replied back to him. He knows I have his FB password saved on our old computer and I admitted to reading his messages a week before we last spoke.. He never changed his password, and is probably under the assumption I have been snooping around his account which I stopped doing 2 weeks ago. Any ideas?
STM206 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Sorry to hijack my own thread, but what is the reason of exes showing off on Facebook? Mine recently started doing that 4 weeks into our no contact. This was the reason for me avoiding FB the past 2 weeks. He was posting "true love never dies" quotes on his wall, pictures with his family with "feeling loved" statuses (he never posted many if any pics before the breakup), and liking random girls posts that wouldn't even be his type. Also, poking a ton of people (including me, I never poked back) and even commenting "sexy" on one girls picture who never replied back to him. He knows I have his FB password saved on our old computer and I admitted to reading his messages a week before we last spoke.. He never changed his password, and is probably under the assumption I have been snooping around his account which I stopped doing 2 weeks ago. Any ideas? It's an ego thing. It makes them feel "hey! Look at me! I'm moving on and I know you're checking my page out to validate that YOU aren't moving on" Up until a week ago I was contacting him, still trying to make things work. Now I've remained silent and went about my business on facebook. I hid all my posts from public view so now he can't have access to my life anymore. It's all an act, they want you to feel as if you lost someone so special and that they've already moved on and are happier, they're waiting for you to text them, to like their photos, to reach out again so they know you're holding onto them while they have "let go" Don't buy into it and try your hardest to avoid looking at his stuff, even remove him as a friend for a while until you can regroup. You said you haven't contacted him, but accessing his account or watching everything he does is still a form of contact.
Author luvlost88 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 So by him doing this, he wants to appear to have moved on from me and see if I'm still siting around waiting on him. You said it's an act, so than this doesn't necessarily mean that he HAS IN FACT moved on, but rather wants me to think he has. If thats the case I'm glad I haven't responded to any of it. I would think if he really has moved on than he wouldn't even bother doing any of this.
STM206 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I can't say that 100% but the simple fact that he hasn't changed his password makes me think he is stringing you along.
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