alexjames Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I am useless at meeting girls. I have had 2 girlfriends in the past, one was through meeting online and the other through a work mate. I don't know HOW to meet someone. I'm below average looking, quite short (5' 8'') and look very young facially, so nobody EVER looks at me, and if they do, it's probably because they wonder how I got in the bars/clubs! I got talking to a girl online a few months ago (I have messaged literally hundreds of women and had 4 replies, including this girl). We have been talking on and off for this time and she seems such a great girl. She is very pretty, clever, funny, caring, loyal, everything I could ever dream of in a girl. I've asked her out a couple of times but she has never been able too (or so she says...). I was talking to her on facebook tonight asking to meet her Tonight, and she told me she can't as she is going on a date with a guy. It broke my heart to be honest! It's not the fact that she is dating him, its the fact she has always said that she will meet me sometime and never has, and now she is dating him for the first time. I really like her, and don't want to give up. But if she does end up seeing this guy, that is literally my last chance I have of seeing a girl anytime soon I feel. As I said, I don't know how to meet anyone, other than online, and even that doesn't work!
Noproblem Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 5'8 is not quite short It's OK! just work on your body. Make it really attractive and athletic not all bump up but just athletic and you will be really fine Go join a gym! Leave the online world and start talking to people ....Baby steps until your build on your confidence to talk to any girl Start with old women, then not so attractive women, until you become very confident to talk to any kind of women.
Author alexjames Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Just seen the guy this girl dated send her a message on her facebook 'wall', and well, if that's the type of guy she likes, then maybe it's a lucky escape, looks like he has just got out of the local prison! The thing about talking to girls, is, how? I mean, if you just go up to someone in the shop and start talking, or down the street etc, she'll run a mile! I don't know where to meet someone, other than in clubs, and they only ever want one thing. I really don't have a clue how to meet people! I would join a gym to bulk up a bit (I have really thin arms and no ''meat'' on me at all, aiding my childlike appearance unfortunately, but i'd rather do it another way (lack of cash being one thing!)but I never really have the time during the week, but maybe i'll start doing a bit of running in my free times, I hear that doing just a little exercise regularly helps the mind aswell? So it could help me distress and be happier in myself?! 1
AndrewJDC Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 You don't need to join a gym to get in shape/there are tons of equipment free options such as convict conditioning and you are your own gym etc. There is a wealth of free info too. I think the issue resides in your head however, but perhaps getting fit will aid your confidence. As for the girl liking a rough looking guy, girls like bad boys unfortunately so maybe you need to reduce the nice guy routine.
Versacehottie Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Yes do the gym thing. One of the very best things to build confidence plus it will only help appearance. And it's another chance to meet more girls. If you can't afford one now, start with running & exercises you can do without the gym. Men's Health or other fitness magazines are about $5 & you can get some workout ideas from those. It also helps you get in touch with yourself. You become more attuned to how you truly feel about stuff and then less reliant on others opinions of you. As far as that girl goes, I would go lights out on her until she contacts you (and even then depends on what she says). I hate to reply with "this situation seems 100% one way or another" especially when it's destroying a possible chance with someone BUT it seems like she is stringing you along or using you as back up! People do that (because well on OLD she is likely talking to several guys-fair enough) but to tell you about it as well when she is giving you lame excuses why she can't meet up with you is disrespectful and kinda cruel. Care enough about yourself to know you WILL do better than someone who is so careless with your attention. No one is the be all, end all--especially if they treat you poorly. Good luck!
Tina747 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Have you thought about joining a club, or meetup group, in an area you are interested in. Or maybe even volunteering. You are more likely to meet a woman you have more in common with and have similar interests. And will spark more of a connection... btw... I would not consider 5'8 short.
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Social groups are great ways of meeting people and, from what I can tell, have ended up in many relationships. To your point - confidence goes along way. I should know, I've felt very similar to you. I did start going to the gym which made a night and day difference in how I felt about the way I looked. Look at how your dressing too - clothes make the man and provides confidence. Ask the ladies here - confidence can take an average or below average man and makes him very attractive. I'm learning that myself. And 5'8" isn't that short. Now, as for meeting women. Social groups are good. Going out and talking to women is a big part of too. But don't go into it or do it to get a date. Just start talking to all the women you meet. In time, you will meet on that just seems to connect with you. You never know when or how and you'll be surprised where it turns up. Good luck to you!
Noproblem Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Trust me gym will change your life and your perspective There are gyms for 15 dollars I'm sure that's cheaper than fast food and other things that are bad for our health Yeah running. Walking or jogging helps a lot.... And some girls love the bad boy figure..... Sucks, but happens all the time. I really hope you'll get to know new girls soon
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I thought you were going to try to find a girl who shares your love of football. You're right you can't just talk to a random woman in a shop or on the street but if you see her regularly you can ease into it. Start by smiling at her, work up to hello & then an innocuous conversation about the weather. After you have a few inane conversations, then you can work up to something more meaningful like can I buy you a cup of coffee? I remember how important your career is to you. What about trying to meet somebody at an industry event?
Author alexjames Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Meeting somebody with the same love of the game as me would be a really great start as it'd instantly give us something to talk about, but nobody seems to share that passion with me, not the girls I've met anyway! I went to the pub Yesterday, and my mat was there with his new GF. They've only been together 2/3 weeks, but were all over each other like a rash! She was drunk, but they did say something along the lines of getting her single mate to contact me sometime, but I can't see that happen. As I said, she was very drunk, so probably has forgotten I really don't know where the next girl is ever going to come from, IF there ever is one :/
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Stop being so defeatist. Don't you cheer for your team when they are down in the waning minutes of the game? Cheer for yourself. The next time you see your mate's new GF sober, ask her about her friend. Seriously, girls love to play matchmaker plus if she gets you a GF then you will be less competition for her for her BF's time / attention. Win-Win.
Silver93 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Never give up! Keep trying to meet new people and you will find someone.
CaliGypsy Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 My BFF (woman) is the biggest football fan I know. She plans her whole Sunday around watching it on tv during the season. I'm sure there are lots of other women who love it as well. Hang in there.
Sivok Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I am useless at meeting girls. I have had 2 girlfriends in the past, one was through meeting online and the other through a work mate. I don't know HOW to meet someone. I'm below average looking, quite short (5' 8'') and look very young facially, so nobody EVER looks at me, and if they do, it's probably because they wonder how I got in the bars/clubs! I got talking to a girl online a few months ago (I have messaged literally hundreds of women and had 4 replies, including this girl). We have been talking on and off for this time and she seems such a great girl. She is very pretty, clever, funny, caring, loyal, everything I could ever dream of in a girl. I've asked her out a couple of times but she has never been able too (or so she says...). I was talking to her on facebook tonight asking to meet her Tonight, and she told me she can't as she is going on a date with a guy. It broke my heart to be honest! It's not the fact that she is dating him, its the fact she has always said that she will meet me sometime and never has, and now she is dating him for the first time. I really like her, and don't want to give up. But if she does end up seeing this guy, that is literally my last chance I have of seeing a girl anytime soon I feel. As I said, I don't know how to meet anyone, other than online, and even that doesn't work!Do you approach women in person that you're attracted to? Whether it be if you're standing in line next to a cute girl or if you're in a bar setting? You're having your heart broken over some girl you chatted with online briefly... Sounds like your chances with her are blown before you even started - you sound WAY into her and I'm sure she's picked it up. Just back off for now and maybe message her closer to the weekend to meet up for something simple like an afternoon coffee.
deathandtaxes Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 First, cut out this woe is me ****. CUT IT OUT! It is so pathetic and demeaning to yourself. It is such a turnoff to the opposite sex. Going around with that attitude, women will smell it a mile away. Second, if you can't afford the meager amount of $$$ that it costs to join a gym (or even the time), how are you going to find the money or time it requires to date? So you're a little shorter than average. Big deal. It is a big deal if you let it be a big deal. Confidence and a smile will overcome a lot of resistance in people.
Author alexjames Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 First, cut out this woe is me ****. CUT IT OUT! It is so pathetic and demeaning to yourself. It is such a turnoff to the opposite sex. Going around with that attitude, women will smell it a mile away. Second, if you can't afford the meager amount of $$$ that it costs to join a gym (or even the time), how are you going to find the money or time it requires to date? So you're a little shorter than average. Big deal. It is a big deal if you let it be a big deal. Confidence and a smile will overcome a lot of resistance in people. I just find it expensive to spend £400 a year ($650) for something I will only likely be doing for around 30 minutes a week or so! I work 10 hours every weekday, and I do physical work most days, and by the time the weekend come, the thought of working out for hours on end when i'm more than likely tired already doesn't appeal. I do have the money (I have a decent job), but have other things I rather spend it on, my hobbies that I enjoy etc. When i'm out, I don't go around with that attitude. If I'm in the bars/clubs etc, I smile at a cute girl, nothing ''dodgy'' just a nice smile, and she 9 times out of 10 gives me a dodgy look and walk off. When that is constantly happening, it does eventually get to you
Recommended Posts