dontstopbelievin Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 5 months ago a really nice guy asked me out. I wasn't quite ready for dating, after a marriage break up and then a long distance relationship that I painfully ended. Finally I agreed. We spent 2 awesome months with him making me dinner and us going out and generally having a great time. I knew he was wanting to take it slow and so was I. I think I ended up coming on too strong. I was just kinda following his lead! Right before Christmas he said he just wanted to be friends. I was pretty devastated. Long story short, he knew he wouldn't be seeing me for a few weeks with his family coming and he was worried I was getting too serious. I told him I understand where he's coming from. I went No Contact and was surprised that he keeps texting every few days. The messy part is that we've seen each other a few times. He treats me like his long lost best friend. He says he likes spending time with me. We've hooked up 3 times since. And its awesome. Dude is totally into me. He doesn't ask me out but if we see each other out we're like magnets to each other. I know if I ask him he comes with bells on. He gets a little jealous of me, really cares but is hesitant. He's tried booty calling me and I don't go there. My big question is do I keep trying? Do I ask him to spend time? How do I keep 'it going' without chasing...which I know is the worst. Help! I don't wanna let this guy get away! Sorry this is so long......but he texts me every few days with some pretty sweet stuff and I don't know what to do!
eleve82 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Mmm. Unfortunately I always believed if a guy tells you he just wants to be friends, you should listen real hard. Unless you can "play the game" without getting your feelings hurt, I would suggest you write off this one. 2
BDL Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Hold off on the sex. Read this somewhere... women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment. If he doesn't commit, you don't give him teh sex. Be strong. Date around even if you don't feel like it. There are a lot of good guys out there. 1
Author dontstopbelievin Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 One big thing that changed is he originally thought he would be getting transferred out of town, he recently found out he's staying. I guess I wonder if it's possible to get back out of the friend zone once you're there. I can't get him out of my head!
Author dontstopbelievin Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Hold off on the sex. Read this somewhere... women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment. If he doesn't commit, you don't give him teh sex. Be strong. Date around even if you don't feel like it. There are a lot of good guys out there. Good advice. I don't want to look cheap and easy! I just want his interest back because we really connect so well.
HappyLove Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 You said you "hooked up" 3 times. Does that mean sex? Sounds like he doesn't want a relationship with you and why should he if he's getting sex without the commitment. " he said he just wanted to be friends" Why don't women listen when men tell them EXACTLY what they want?! If he can tell you just be friends he can tell you he wants you to be his girl. I know from experience it's VERY HARD to be alone but you deserve better than someone throwing you scraps. Until he changes his tune I'd look for a man who wants you as his woman not FWB. 1
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