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Long relationship....NEED serious help...


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Posted

Ok I need help. Here is the story.

 

I have been with the same girl for a little over a year. We were together for about 10 months, seperated briefly and than started seeing each other. She came back to me becuase she missed me and wanted to give us a chance. We broke up because she wanted be alone. So out of respect for her, let her go. When she came back things were different. Not inside of me, i felt the same, but I could feel it comming off of her. She seemer more...stable. She broke my heart very bad the first time and it would take alot for me to give this a fair chance and not think that it would have a similar outcome. So I did.

 

Things were great for the first month and than a lot of personal things started happening in her life which started giving her that "overwhelmed" feeling. Her father was in the hospital, her mother and step father were splitting up, her sister was having marriage trouble and so on. So with all this going on i did my best to support her and be there for her but not get in the way. After the holiday i took her away for the night just to get her away from it all. We had such a good time and became even closer with each other (this I never thought was possible). So we came home and now we are both back to work and back to school.

 

She is in nursing school and I just began to pursue my MBA. My sister is an RN and I know how demanding nursing school is and I do my best to be supportive, understanding, and I give her her space when she needs it. Things are not too bad, but they are not what they should be.

 

I know what is there between us. I can feel it and I know she feels it too. However, she still doesn't want me a "relationship". Well i know there is no one else. Any free time she gets, if she is not relaxing at home she is with me. When we are together everything is perfect. When we are not, I have bad feeling inside that something isn't right. And i don't even mean with what I am feeling, something isn't right with her. You would think if you loved someone you would do something from time to time to let them know what they mean to you. I am talking about the simle things... A phone call at work to say hi I am thinking of you, a text message of this sort, stopping over without notice...It is the little things that show it and it is the actions that show it, not the words. This is what I keep telling her. We would argue about how she feels for me when all I want to know is if I am wasting my time. I do everything for this girl, I mean EVERYTHING! I adore her and love her and I do what people do when they are in love. I take my free tiem to do things for her when she is at work, I do things for her family and I am always there when she needs me no matter the time nor the place. I know I love this girl. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But how long do i stay understanding with her needs and what she wants right now? How do i fight off the bad feelings I have? I am so lost and have not been myself since I have been feeling these things and I just want it to go away...

 

Someone help????

Posted

Well it definetly seems as if you really do have strong feelings for this girl. I think she is taking you for granted and doesn't realize just how much you do for her. I suggest that you ease back a bit, try to show her that you are just as willing to leave as you are to stay around. I have been in her position, it seems like she is enjoying the comfort zone that you gave her. She has someone to be with when she wants as well as someone who supports her in a time of need. It seems as if she does nothing for you, not that your asking for anything but to let her belong to you.

 

Just try to ease back and not be so available to her needs, she will see just how much she really needs you when you are not so eager to be there for her when she is not there for you.

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Posted

I agree. I always felt like she was taking me for granted. It even came up in a conversation before. Last night we talked a little bit and I asked her, "What we were". And she said that I do not want to put a title on it, I am happy with where things are at, and if it ain't broken don't try to fix it. Well, to you, but to me, I don't want to say broken, but it definitely is not in prime condition. After going through so much with one another for the past year and some odd weeks, you would think you would want to be with someone.

I am going to ease back, it will be very difficult. I hope that she does not have the mentality that well since he is distancing himself from me than I will do the same...

 

Thanks for your reply, it made sense out of my thoughts because I am not the only one who thinks this.

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