crackerjax9 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Really want to move on but my only friends live states away. Any ideas on how to cope? My ex told me he wants me to move on last night and I want to do that now since that's what he wants. Just have no one to hangout with or to go out with which is making it that much harder
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 First, reach out for your old friends. Even hearing their voices on the phone should bring you some comfort. Give yourself a few days to process the loss of your current relationship. When you feel a bit stronger work on making new friends. Is there anybody at work who looks promising? Can you join an alumni association or some other group where you already have a shared back ground? Volunteer somewhere doing something you are passionate about. Join a civic organization like the Elks or the Lions. Get active in a business / industry group. Join an organized sports team.
Author crackerjax9 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 It's been two weeks since the break up (originally thru a text) and he told me in person last night bc I needed to hear it. I never really had friends here...just a couple here and there. There's one girl at work that seems promising but she's spending the weekend with her bf for their anniversary. I'm just so depressed I wish I had people to hangout with to get my mind off this.
WantanS4 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Really want to move on but my only friends live states away. Any ideas on how to cope? My ex told me he wants me to move on last night and I want to do that now since that's what he wants. Just have no one to hangout with or to go out with which is making it that much harder Well you could do like my ex and join a dating website. Or you could be like me, and embrace singledom. Or you could volunteer or join the local religious community (if you're into that).
Author crackerjax9 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 I signed up for zoosk and tinder and that lasted about five minutes. The idea of dating someone or seeing someone else makes me sick. I'd like to embrace being single I just want this depression to go away and to find ways to keep myself busy so I don't think about him and it's easier to move on.
JDPT Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 A topic on NPR yesterday how statistically, women may have a "better" time dealing with a break up. It boiled down to women having a constant network of friends for support, whether in a relationship or not, the "network" always remains. When faced with a loss women simply turn to their already existing network for support and validation. Men are the total opposite. We inherently suppress our emotions (at least I do, I know it's a terrible way to cope) and don't have this network that women benefit form constantly. We are often left friendless when the only person we had in our life decided to walk. As we already know it's imperative to keep relationships whether in a relationship or not.
Author crackerjax9 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Thanks. I would kill to have a close circle of friends nearby. Those friends of mine are in California. I have one friend here but she's very quiet and gets a little strange when we go out lol. My other friend here has too many friends that she loses sight of her close friends(not a very good friend) and then one of my best friends passed away from cancer a couple of years ago. I feel like I just need to move closer to my good girl friends now that I haveno reason to stay here.
JDPT Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Well view friends as cold calling. Out of those 2K calls you make you will get 10 solid leads out of those 10 solid leads you will get 4 that will invest in your firm. I view it as a numbers game, go out meet people and you may just be surprised. And when you minimize expectations and when you'll eventually find a friend that's worth your time. 1
Author crackerjax9 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Thank you Rebound. Never heard of meet up I will definitely use it. Not looking for a rebound, never did the rebound thing. Think it's better to be single and have fun with friends then focus on getting out there and having meaningless hookups. I'm not that kind of girl altho at times I wish I was.
sickoflove11 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I completely understand your situation. I'm not one with many friends and after my break up I was able to move back to where my friends were and right now I am enjoying it and it helps a lot to move on and keep busy but in reality I'm going to have to go back to where I have no friends and that will be tough getting used to. Really just keep busy and try to join things you enjoy doing. I think friends will eventually come along. Sorry I'm not much help because I haven't had much luck myself :/ I think its best to focus on myself right now and my happiness and friends come! (I am hopeful) That may be the best we can do! Best of luck
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