TheNewMe2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 So had a second date with an amazing woman - another date where we stayed out all night and lingered at the bar for quite awhile after paying our 2:00am bill. We were snuggling a bit and I was rubbing her back. Took her home, and stupidly gave her a big hug and a peck on the cheek (last time was a hug and a quick kiss). Been overly cautious because I get the impression, while very interested, taking things slow is what she'd like. Though we are talking about other plans together and doing things (like me planning her birthday with our mutual friends - which is a whole other question. That's pretty much letting people know we are dating and she's fine with it - right?). She knows how much I enjoy her company and, quite frankly, like her. There's no doubt about it. But I feel like I messed up last night by not giving her a proper kiss (which I'm dying to do). Due to our schedules, I'll probably not get to see here again for a couple of weeks. Did I mess up - or as friend said, "you better kiss her next time, but don't worry about it - you were gentlemanly"?
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Not a screw up at all. Just taking things slow. She's an adult; if she wanted more she could have easily kissed you too. I do agree with your friend -- 3rd time is the charm. 2
bene Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I agree with your friend, don't worry about it. I don't see it as a screw up at all You have had some physical contact so you have shown your interest but I don't see any harm in taking things slow. It has just been two dates and it is gentelmanly not to come on too strong. 2
Author TheNewMe2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 thanks. It's great to hear perspective.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 So had a second date with an amazing woman - another date where we stayed out all night and lingered at the bar for quite awhile after paying our 2:00am bill. We were snuggling a bit and I was rubbing her back. Took her home, and stupidly gave her a big hug and a peck on the cheek (last time was a hug and a quick kiss). Been overly cautious because I get the impression, while very interested, taking things slow is what she'd like. Though we are talking about other plans together and doing things (like me planning her birthday with our mutual friends - which is a whole other question. That's pretty much letting people know we are dating and she's fine with it - right?). She knows how much I enjoy her company and, quite frankly, like her. There's no doubt about it. But I feel like I messed up last night by not giving her a proper kiss (which I'm dying to do). Due to our schedules, I'll probably not get to see here again for a couple of weeks. Did I mess up - or as friend said, "you better kiss her next time, but don't worry about it - you were gentlemanly"? OMG! SERIOUSLY!! LOL! u have just left her wanting more... good on you!! x just show her are u still interested by text etc... u done good :-) xx 1
Author TheNewMe2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Thanks - I did text her in the morning..and told her how much fun I had and how great she looked (since I was a little coy and didn't tell her last night). Made her smile and say she had a good time. Thanks guys..I appreciate the insight.
HappyLove Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO kiss her next time!!! I mean you're planning her bday & no kiss? I think she likes you A LOT, so it's really not a big deal. But if you let it go next time she will start to wonder. It's great that you did show other affection towards her though so she's not getting mixed signals. I'm sure she also appreciates you being a gentleman. 1
Author TheNewMe2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Thanks guy. Everyone's support has been great and given me confidence. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 not a screw up. my advice keep it HOT in the time in between when you see her next. Flirt via text, phone. It's great to leave someone wanting more. You actually find ways to build connection and work a bit harder at the relationship where it is not just all up front. That said, make it clear with your flirting that you're into her & have edge even though so far you have been a gentleman. I think I'm not alone in thinking that a guy who is being a gentleman or holding back a bit physically for the good of the relationship in long run, at some point just can't help himself. 2
Versacehottie Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I would also add don't underestimate the "build-up". If you'd kissed her on 1st or 2nd date, there would have been relatively little build-up, more so just the "payoff". So then the build-up would have to be about something else (usually further physicality OR emotional progress OR premature commitment). Something that may speed the pace up to a level that one or both of you aren't comfortable with truly. That's why build-up about a kiss is a good simple one. Basically build-up is tension, sexual or romantic tension. Definitely fun relationships have it and work it. That said, 3 dates in is now enough time to go for it (unless culturally unacceptable) because otherwise things tend to get a little confusing (in each of your heads) which can hurt momentum. It sounds like you will be fine. Good luck! 1
Author TheNewMe2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Thanks V. She asked me to go out this evening with some mutual friends of ours. I agree, at this point - I feel it will be a natural thing. Not seeing her for two weeks was bothering me...leaving that to linger. Hopefully that will change this evening 1
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