5 months too soon to move in together?

[antineutrino]

I'll try to give an easy-to-read non-paragraph version.

 

• Both mid-20s
  
• First relationship / love for both -- have talked about never wanting to leave each other (though I'm guessing that may be typical?)
  
• Been together a couple months, but thinking ahead to when our leases are up -- would be cheaper for both, and her housing situation into the future is a little tenuous . . . next real opportunity would likely be 1 year later.
  
• Spend most nights together (mix between both apartments), can't stand to be apart -- starting to learn each other's living habits (how messy we are, when we wash dishes, etc)
  
• Haven't been in any fights yet, so still in honeymoon phase
  
• She's somewhat hesitant, but still really excited by the idea of it, because she really wants to make the relationship work and doesn't want to make moving in be the cause of it failing
  
• Our friends think everything is going great and don't see any relationship red flags
  
• We've already shared some of our deepest secrets, are honest with each other about everything, and really trust one another
  

 

One friend says that she doesn't think moving in would break us up, it will either work or it won't and the key is to have a backup plan in case things do collapse. Another friend says that she thinks moving in can cause problems, especially if it's early on, since we wouldn't know how to give each other space in that kind of situation; only after time, when we've fought and learned how to make up, does it become viable. Which school of thought do you think is correct? Is this too soon?

 

Is there are more info I should supply?

[d0nnivain]

I was going to say maybe it's too soon but it depends. After reading your post I'm going to say do not move in.

 

 

If this is both of your 1st loves / relationships, you don't have a meaningful basis for comparison. You need some more time.

 

 

If you are doing for economic reasons, it won't work. It certainly won't lead to marriage. If economics are an issue, get roommates.

 

 

You haven't fought yet. You don't know how you fight. The confines of a shared living space will intensify the feelings. You can't just up & leave if you are both on the lease.

 

 

Stay together. Keep dating. Keep loving. Grow closer & revisit the issue next year.

[newmoon]

I say not yet, based on this:

 

 

"Haven't been in any fights yet, so still in honeymoon phase"

 

 

you'd be making a decision based on that 'high' of love and not really from a rational place. 5 months dating for an older couple is fine, but for a younger couple with not too much experience, it's too fast, imo. settle into the relationship, have that big fight (or two, or three) and see how it goes from there. the first fight might be so big you don't even make it through :-)

[Noproblem]

Don't move in together. Too soon.

[antineutrino]

Thanks for the input everyone. I guess we're just so caught up in each other that I'm overeager on this front. It's nice to have resources like this to make sure I approach things rationally!

[deathandtaxes]

Not too soon. You never know until you try! If you're committed to each other, you can overcome the little fights and arguments that will come up. There is no magic time being together before deciding to move in. It's what works best for YOU.

[FnlyFrei]

When you move in together, everything changes. I would wait. I actually married and then moved in with someone I only knew for 10 months. Disaster. You are still in the infatuation stage, and you do not really know one another. But it is hard to tell that to someone in that stage. Reality hasn't hit yet.