goldies Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) When I was with my ex he wasn't really meeting my needs and had some issues but nothing real obvious that was wrong. After he suddenly left me for really no reason, I found out from good sources he's bipolar and he also has a sociopathic personality. He never said he loved me and seems generally incapable of loving anyone but himself or connecting on any deep level. He scored 14 of 20 traits for a psycho-sociopath in a book I read on the subject. Two weeks after leaving me he started in dating a mutual friend of ours and they went from 0-60. He never saw her as anything but a friend until about the time he left me and within a month they had had a non-legal commitment ceremony with each other! After he strung me along for almost two years with no commitment at all!! That infuriates me... despite the fact that I am glad now that I never got entangled that way with him, I know I dodged a bullet. Still. He also got into a bad business deal about the time and lost a ton of money and also lost a long time friend and his life got so crazy he had to leave town temporarily and go back to his home town. I heard he just spiraled crazy out of control. But from little bits I see and hear from social media and friends, sounds like those two are still going strong in that ridiculous, rebound relationship...about 3 months now. I felt really betrayed and it was a slap in the face to me how it all happened. I tried to warn her that he was a predator and was not having a normal emotional process after a break-up but she ignored me. Then I heard that she thought I just wasn't right for him... like she was that perfect potion for his happiness. She had no concern that her jumping the chance to date him so soon after he left me, was hurting me. I actually think it was her idea they get together. The thought of those two together sickens me, and I can't forget about it no matter how well I try to concentrate and work on myself and live a positive life. I can't help wishing every single day that the relationship would blow up. A lot of people keep telling me there's no way they can last, it's inevitable and only a matter of time before things crash and burn, because someone like him is incapable of sustaining a normal relationship. Still, things seem just peachy peachy right now. I know it's none of my business anymore, I shouldn't think about it and I certainly would never want him back, but just knowing they are together is making it really tough for me in my moving on process... especially since I'm alone and sad and trying to recover from the destruction he brought to me emotionally. I just can't totally ever get it out of my mind, and I know how much better I would feel if I heard that stupid relationship had ended. I blame her more than him, and I can't help hoping her heart gets broken as bad as mine did. Do you think there's a higher chance they will end or keep going? Maybe I just need to vent. I'm impatient, wanting them (mainly her) to hurt like I have been hurt. Edited February 22, 2014 by goldies forgot something
dontstopbelievin Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Time. It just takes time. I married a man, had his children, and he had an affair with my sister. Guess what. 14 years later they are still together, im single again because I jumped into a terrible relationship after they destroyed me. I stayed with that man for 12 years! The only advice I can offer is Do Not get into another relationship soon. And give it time. Let it hurt. Scream Write it all down. Make your friends crazy talking about it. Whatever. Time is the only thing that will help. Let it hurt. Force yourself to get out and resume life. Be thankful you got away from him.
Tripz Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Goldies, I completely know what you are going through. The relationship my ex is in now makes zero sense to me and I'm shocked that they are still together. It won't last, can't! Yet, it does. I'm learning that humans...even the ones we think we know...have a strange capacity to do everything contrary to what we think they would do. Instead of hoping my wife and her bf split up soon, I'm hoping they stay together longer. The longer they are together, the more entwined their lives will be. When they finally do split, it will be more of a ripping and tearing. Far worse and I'll be able to watch from the sidelines. Might take 10 years, but it will happen and it will be bad. He's an alcoholic and a severe one, so it's only a matter of time. dontstop: That is a seriously effed up situation! So sorry...
Author goldies Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Does anyone have any experience seeing their ex NOT be successful in a rebound relationship after leaving you? Do they always live happily ever after with the new person???
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 It - Doesn't - Matter. leave it be. What he's doing now is no concern of yours. You can't measure 'happy' in cases like this, and you shouldn't even try - Why? Because it just tortures you, makes you feel bad and keeps you in a continuous vicious circle of constant depression. "Happy ever afteer" doesn't exist anyway. Do you actually know anyone, regardless of circumstances, who's had 'happy ever after'...? I don't. Move on, and don't dwell on it.
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