Sevria84 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 You just get to that point where you can't take it anymore. You get to the point where you love someone, but sometimes the love just isn't enough. How could I care for someone so much that would be so hurtful to me is what anyone would ask, honestly though, you just can't control it sometimes. After leaving a very unhealthy marriage to be with my boyfriend, things seemed great. We got along great and had a great time together. I had never been treated so good. Then I caught him telling girls to come play some Cyber RPG Based game with him and flipped. Told him I would not put up with it, despite it being digital, it was cheating imo. Well nothing ever happened luckily, however, I still haven't been able to rebuild the trust from it despite his telling me it never happened, he'd never do it again, and though he didn't think it was cheating he understands I do and wouldn't ever do it. So we fight, we get into fights here and there, about how we talk to one another, or about things needing to be done around the house. We both work full time. he does make more money than me but I don't think that matters if i give him every dime I make. I give him my full check minus spending money for the week for coffee since there's no drinks available at my job without purchasing some across the street. We've lvied together the whole year and a half we've been together. Randomly when we've gotten into fights, despite me not touching him, he'd pull my hair, push me, slap me, punch my arms, spit in my face. Call me just about every name in the book. This morning I get woken up to screaming about the cat getting locked in the bathroom on accident (Our door has an outside latch to prevent the cat from going in and out of the bathroom, last night half asleep i accidentally locked him in) So as i'm cleaning the bathroom, i'm getting drilled even more. Mistakes happen. He complains about me leaving sponges in the sink water, forgetting this or that, turning a light off before I can even get done being situated with what i'm doing. No matter how small the arguments, it seems anytime he feels he has a right to be mad, he can choke me or slap me or punch my arm. It's not ok. I've told him it's not okay for him to act this way with petty arguments. He says it's how people learn, that there's nothign wrong with it. Despite me crying telling him there was something wrong with it. So back before my rant... This morning, I get locked in the bathroom. He had left and locked the bathroom from the outside. He swears to god he didn't do it, yet not one other person was in our house. I had to break open my door or try to for a half hour screaming so maybe one of the neighbors would hear me and I could instrurct them how to get in my home to help me, i call him after I get out, he sweras he didn't do it, then starts calling me names for accusing him and telling me to get out of his house. Then goes on a big rant about me being wrong, me being a scumbag liar cheater thief. I 've never once lied to him, i'd never cheat on him, I am so involved in loving him and trying to be perfect for him that I don't even think about other guys. I do so much, i left my family friends, 500 miles from my home, i know no one outhere, i have no friends, i just have him. Even at my job i'm the only one here and i'm just so friggin lonely then to have to go home and deal with that anytime we get into an argument is just TOO much. I can't take this. I can't take constnatly being threatened to get kicked out of my house, or him throwing my stuff, or him trying to make me feel like i'm worthless ugly and no one would want me. My everyday is put into making him happy and doing my job. I don't do all the chores, because, why should I? WE both work full time. He does one thing around the hosue and complains or yells the whole time or says i haven't done something despite for the LONGEST majority of the time Id id most everything. I just, feel like he's constantly nitpicking, if i defend myself, it becomes something bigger and physical. I just.. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to handle it anymore. He has done nice things for me, he has told me he cares, buys me big things, etc, but why would he think it's okay to hit me-ever-?! How could you spit in someone's face and tell them they're worthless and not even their family loves them then tell them you love them more than anyone ever? Why would someone play with someones mind like this. It's just all too much to deal with while having absolutely no one to speak to or friends in the area to get out. I'm just so lost. Do I take this as a second mess up of mine? A divorce just to go to this? My ex husband should get a good laugh outta this considering he wasn't nearly as bad. I feel like this is karma for the arguments my ex and I got into. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.
Author Sevria84 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 For some reason it's alot easier said than done though :/ I'm sure i'll muster up the strength. Just hard when thigns are so hot and cold if you get what I mean. I'm trying to understand why he insists things are okay that way and wants to make me feel like this.
GoreSP Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Yeah no it's really not. This guy is being physically abusive and makes you feel guilty for it. I think you are soused to it since your last relationship was also abusive that you can't think there could be better. Don't you have friends or family you can go to? A lot of cities have houses for women who are in an abusive relationship...
Author Sevria84 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 My family is all 500 + miles away. I don't have any friends out here. I just can' tbelieve, getting locked into the bathroom by "ghosts" is what i'm supposed to believe about today after arguing about me accidentally locking the cat in the bathroom. Then i get called all sorts of names and am dealign with this at WORK. Then what does he do, turn off my phone so i can't call anyone or do anything. Then says he's going to call the cops and say I stole his car, that he can't drive due to a license issue, and I use -every- single day to get to work, that's why he bought it he's said over and over. It's just stupid.
GoreSP Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Well look for a women's shelter in your area and go there. If you were to leave, are you afraid he would go after you? If so, call the police and get a restraining order or something...
Author Sevria84 Posted February 26, 2014 Author Posted February 26, 2014 Yeah, my only option would be a shelter. My ID had to be ordered from another state since I lost it before registering here and isn't here so i'd need money to take a greyhound. No family or friends in the area. I know his family but I wouldn't feel right calling them to get away from him. Not sure they'd care either. Just wish I knew how to perform magic!
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