keith.1 Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Hey Kevin, I've read your whole story, and im so sorry for what you're going through. It really does suck doesn't it! I just wanted to say that I think you're right, one day she probably will realise what she had in you, and what threw away. I just hope that by the time that happens, you will have moved on to the kind of happiness you deserve, and it will be you telling her that it's to late!
Author KevinC Posted February 26, 2014 Author Posted February 26, 2014 Thanks Keith and everyone else for your advice and kind words. Today is a hard day, yesterday was her final interview for the job she has been wanting and desperatly needs. I have been fighting my urge to breack NC and ask her if she got it, she will be devastated if she didnt, i just wish i could be there for her, but i cant and its killing me. I wish i could resent(or hate) her for ending our relationship, maybe that would make it easier...but i cant, she is only doing what she thinks is right. This pain, its mine, i have to live it, to ride it out without lashing out at the world and hopefully come out the other side wiser and walking tall.
4everalones Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 I wish i could resent(or hate) her for ending our relationship, maybe that would make it easier...but i cant, she is only doing what she thinks is right. Oh wow, this is exactly how I feel. People around me can't understand why I can't get over someone who left me when I needed him the most. They all tell me what a "coward jerk" he is and that I should resent him and feel lucky that he "showed his true colors". But I just can't bring myself to be angry at him or resent him. It would have been so much better if I felt that way. But you're right. The pain is ours and we have to power through it. Hopefully it will get easier some day. But as of right now, it's a living hell each and every minute.
keith.1 Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 I feel exactly the same in my situation. I previously posted that I wish I could hate my ex, but I just can't. Apparently, that feeling will come in time. But for now, we are seeing everything through the eyes of love, and unfortunately, love has a very "magical" way of making you completely blind at seeing the faults in the person we love. Especially in all of our situations. We do tend to put them on pedestals. We all know deep in ourselves that this feeling won't last forever, at some point something inside us will eventually snap, and we will realise that they are not as perfect as what we feel they are right now. I guess we just have to ride it out until the "spell" is broken. Until then, let's just all stick together and continue to give eachother support.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted February 26, 2014 Posted February 26, 2014 I might be completely off the mark here but I think she is testing your commitment... she has told u what she wants and u didnt agree... she does want to be with u and Im pretty sure she would be willing to wait but she wants to make sure shes not wasting her time... just my 2 pennys worth ! x
Author KevinC Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 I might be completely off the mark here but I think she is testing your commitment... she has told u what she wants and u didnt agree... she does want to be with u and Im pretty sure she would be willing to wait but she wants to make sure shes not wasting her time... just my 2 pennys worth ! x Interesting, and how exactly does breacking up with me accomplish this do you think?
Author KevinC Posted February 28, 2014 Author Posted February 28, 2014 Today is so hard guys, i watched this video not really knowing what it was and i find myself wanting to send it to her. I know i probably shoudnt but its so exactly how i feel...i just want her to say something :_( The wave hit me today and ive cried, still am. Wrote to her in the coping section thought that would help pass the urge...its still there. Im hurting, wondering if she is thinking of me, did she get that job she needs? I dont know, sometimes i wonder if not knowing is worse than knowing...
keith.1 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 It's kinda strange that you say that about that song, because I've been hearing it all week on the radio at work, it's a beautiful song, but it really does hit home to how we're feeling. I too wanted to send that song to my ex this week, but managed to resist. You've just got to keep fighting these urges to contact her, I know how difficult it is, this is my first week of NC and it's driving me crazy. Although you want to know what's going on in her life, and for now, it's probably best that you don't know, because in all honesty, knowing anything other than she misses you and wants you back, probably won't make you feel any better. Believe me! Stay strong and keep your head up.
lolablue17 Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 I would like to tell you a few thing about your ex. She is not so innocent as you might think. She is not so lovely and pure. She wanted to break up with you but she didnt have the courage to do it properly. so she selfishly sacrificed your feelings for her own small comfort. she made up some drama queen crap like "I love you but you dont want to be commited" ???!!! (stupid thing to say without discussing it first with you) and when you emptied her excuse and said that you are willing to be commited she (like a Chameleon) changed the argument to: "Now its too late". Yeee give me a break.... And not only that, she wants you around and she wants you yearning her because it raises her ego. She is nothing but a selfish childish human been. YOU DONT LOVE HER! YOU ONLY LOVE THE WOMAN YOU THINK SHE IS, BUT SHE'S NOT!!!!!
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 Today is so hard guys, i watched this video not really knowing what it was and i find myself wanting to send it to her. I know i probably shoudnt but its so exactly how i feel... Please DO NOT do this. It is a BAD, BAD idea!!!!! She is nothing but a selfish childish human been. YOU DONT LOVE HER! YOU ONLY LOVE THE WOMAN YOU THINK SHE IS, BUT SHE'S NOT!!!!! There is a lot of truth in this. It takes a while before you know the person, and you probably fell for the person you fantasized she was. I fall into this category as well...
Author KevinC Posted March 1, 2014 Author Posted March 1, 2014 Thanks Lola and Mtn i think you might be right, im in love with the fantasy of her. It was hard to read that but the more i think about it the more it makes sense to me. I still have her on the pedestal. Been trying to take her off and to remember she is not perfect and has faults. Thanks for pointing that out to me. 2
Recommended Posts