Kingston100 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I will try to keep this short. I have a group of friends that I have hung out with since high school (15 years). We were very close then, but now only get together every once and a while. A few years ago, I noticed that one of the girls in perticular had become very negative. She was constantly gossiping about the others in our group and when we would spend time together at a restaurant or coffee shop she would be incredibly rude to the staff there. Worst off, she was really judgemental of the man I was seeing and would make him uncomfortable with her snarky remarks. It embarassed me and it got to the point where I didn't want to hang out with her anymore. Friendships change and I can apprieciate that. I slowly stopped hanging out with her one on one, and now I only really see her at weddings/baby showers for the other girls. The problem is that I do still want to see the other girls, but don't want to involve them in our drama. What ends up happening is that whenever someone tries to plan a get-together I have to make an excuse to get out of it. I don't want to stir the pot or make people feel like they have to pick sides. Lately though I feel like I am coming across as a bit of a flake and it is becoming obvious that I am avoiding the group as a whole. I try to make time for each of my friends in a one-on-one manner when I can though so I don't lose touch with them completely. Did I approach this wrong? Should I just have been honest about my feelings? This is going on 3 years now.
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 The problem is that I do still want to see the other girls, but don't want to involve them in our drama. What ends up happening is that whenever someone tries to plan a get-together I have to make an excuse to get out of it. I don't want to stir the pot or make people feel like they have to pick sides. Don't mention the bitchy girl at all and just ignore her when in a group. don't let her control you and if you want to get together with the gang, go! When she is negative, just laugh it off and ignore her. I'm sure your friends know who she is and what she's like. This girl wins every time you cancel.
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