Kyle12 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 So one of my best friends is getting married in June and asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I really do not want to do it and I think he should pick someone else. He has other options. More than likely turning him down is going to burn bridges in our friendship but I do not really care about that as I do not enjoy his company anyway. I have not been happy with this friendship for the past year and I am just looking for a way out of the friendship without having to be the one to tell him I do not want to be friends anymore. This wedding thing is my chance to break up the friendship while making it look like it was his idea and his choice to end it. So why should I spend money on a suit and tie and go through the effort of being the best man when all that is going to do is encourage him to hang out with me more?
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Since he has other options just tell him thanks for thinking of me but I have a lot going on in my life right now, maybe it would be best if you asked someone else. (being best man also requires you to be involved in planning the stag and having responsibilities). If he gets upset, so be it. Problem solved. If he doesn't get upset and still invites you to the wedding, go anyway and just keep things casual between you two as time goes on. No point in being dramatic and 'ending' the friendship. Time and distance will take care of the demise of things...Beside, I'm sure once he's married he won't have a whole lot of time to hang out with you.
mammasita Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 How about say "no thank you". That was easy. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 So what was your Q? If you don't to be best man at his wedding, don't. You aren't under any obligation. You realize that there will be fall out & consequences but you seem to be OK with that, so don't be best man at his wedding. Be polite when you turn him down though.
writergal Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Kyle just tell your friend the truth and be done with it. Why are people so afraid to tell each other the truth?! What's the worst that will happen?! If you don't want to be friends with this guy anymore, then don't. The world will not explode if this friendship ends. Friendships go south all the time for a myriad of reasons. 2
Author Kyle12 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 So what was your Q? If you don't to be best man at his wedding, don't. You aren't under any obligation. You realize that there will be fall out & consequences but you seem to be OK with that, so don't be best man at his wedding. Be polite when you turn him down though.[/quote Ummm there already is a falling out and has been for a long time at least on my end. He just doesn't know that I do not enjoy his company anymore. As far as telling the truth? Well if I was on the receiving end and one of my friends slowly dropped off the radar I would already suspect they have lost interest and I would not need to hear their words of rejection. There's no need to say anything. He will stop calling and I will stop calling and over time there would be an unspoken understanding that we are not friends anymore.
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Take the short cut: copy/paste this thread, and send it to him as an email. Sorted. why wait 'over time'....? 2
writergal Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 So what was your Q? If you don't to be best man at his wedding, don't. You aren't under any obligation. You realize that there will be fall out & consequences but you seem to be OK with that, so don't be best man at his wedding. Be polite when you turn him down though.[/quote Ummm there already is a falling out and has been for a long time at least on my end. He just doesn't know that I do not enjoy his company anymore. As far as telling the truth? Well if I was on the receiving end and one of my friends slowly dropped off the radar I would already suspect they have lost interest and I would not need to hear their words of rejection. There's no need to say anything. He will stop calling and I will stop calling and over time there would be an unspoken understanding that we are not friends anymore. There's nothing wrong with sending your friend an email to explain that you don't want to be his best man for his wedding. You can end the friendship that way. Just tell him the truth at least for your own peace of mind. It's up to you but that's my advice. Plus I love TaraMaiden's advice lol! I'd do that!
Recommended Posts